


Sugar Daddy Hanzo

by MaddRae



Series: Overwatch Sugar Daddies [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Overwatch AU, Overwatch Business World AU, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddRae/pseuds/MaddRae
Summary: You attended this party as a way to meet a few new business contacts and get out of the house, not to get a new side job as Hanzo Shimada's new girl.





	1. A Job Vacancy

“This place is packed,” you muttered to yourself, squinting at the beautiful restaurant around you, “but I had no idea there were going to be this many people here.”

“Oh stop being a baby,” your friend Lori snapped, rolling her eyes at you and shoving you toward the party. You glared back at her.

“What, I’m not allowed to be surprised,” you grumped.

“You were complaining,” Lori said, letting out a dramatic sigh, “as usual. Being a crabby bitch because you’d rather be hiding at home than out at an amazing party. As usual.”

Ever fiber of you wanted to snarl something fierce back to your ‘friend,’ but wouldn’t that just prove her right? And besides, you were better than her jabbing bullshit. Most of the time. Instead, you just took a deep breath and headed to the bar.

“Yeah, go get a drink,” Lori snorted, “we all know you can’t do anything social without liquid courage.”

“Yup,” you sighed, wrestling down your anger, “you know me. Just a complete booze addicted social shut-in. It’s not like I have a job in which I interact with people every day and drink responsibly on the few occasions where I do drink.”

“What was that,” Lori said, evidently not quite hearing your snarkiness. 

“I said, uh, look, isn’t that your man over there,” you lied.

Loir perked up, grinning as she saw her sugar daddy, Hanzo. “Damn right that’s my man,” she purred.

“Uh-huh. So you going to go hang with him or – “ Poof! She was gone without another word. “Thank God,” you grumbled.

For the next few hours, you were a good little party goer, making a point to chat with everyone you knew and even managing to meet a few potential colleagues – Overwatch had some of the most remarkable people working for them! What you wouldn’t give to be involved … A night basking in the glow of this incredible company would have to be enough, though. For now.

While in the midst of a conversation with an interesting British woman and her lovely girlfriend, an announcement was made that the first course would be served soon, making everyone scuttle about to find their seats. You were tucked toward the back with the rest of the lower-tier guests, which was just fine, but much to your surprise, Lori and her impeccably dressed beau were already there waiting for you. The striking man looked up as you approached, but your friend couldn’t be bothered as you awkwardly sat beside them. Could she be any more … handsy? Even Hanzo seemed a little off-put, gently pushing Lori into her own seat and off his chest.

You nodded and gave your best smile as Hanzo straightened his tie. He dipped his head in response.

“Way to interrupt,” Lori pouted at you.

“Um,” you said with a raised brow, “sorry I didn’t want to just be standing around as they served the salads?”

“Whatever. So selfish,” she said, putting her pointy nose in the air and crossing her arms. Hanzo gave her a slightly confused look.

“Is this woman not a friend of yours,” he asked.

“I mean, I guess. Sorta,” Lori replied, seeming a bit surprised by his question.

You were taken aback. Sure, the two of you weren’t besties, but hearing Lori say that was still hurtful. You’d bailed her out of work mistakes a million times, you had sat through hours of her ridiculous sympathy-earning stories, and you had taken looked after her in the midst of hangovers or Plan B store runs too many times to count. That had to be more than ‘sorta’ friends, didn’t it?

Or you were just her doormat friend.

That seemed most likely.

You squirmed sheepishly as you realized just how much Lori had been using you, Hanzo watching you all the while, only making things worse.

“Either way,” he said standing up, “a bit of candor would do you well. You treat people like shit, and you are likely to end up alone. I would know.”

Hanzo turned and began to walk away, Lori scrambling to grab his arm before he got too far. “Babe, wait! Where are you going? Aren’t you sitting with me?”

“No,” he said flatly, pulling away from her tight, desperate grip effortlessly. “This is a business function, and I have much to attend to. Should I have a moment to spare and the desire to spend it with you, I will let you know.”

His stride was long, powerful, and purposeful as he crossed the room to one of the front tables – right in the limelight. Despite his appearance and grace, you couldn’t quite understand why Lori was so infatuated with him. The guy was kind of a dick. A vaguely disapproving expression came to your face as you watched him walk away.

“The fuck is that look,” Lori hissed, making you jump in your seat.

“N-nothing,” you faltered.

She had a ferocious glint in her eyes. “You shouldn’t even be looking at my man, but especially not like that!”

“Look, Lori, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you,” you said scooting away from her.

“That man is a god, you got that? Perfection! Do not look at him like he’s anything less than that,” she seethed. Christ, you’d really pissed her off.

You tried not to laugh, you really did, but you couldn’t help it. “A ‘god,’ Lori? Seriously? That’s just weird. And unhealthy. Putting anyone on a pedestal like that is … a lot. Too much. Unhealthy, even. Maybe you should think about this thing you’ve got with Hanzo.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Lori growled, grabbing your arm so hard you winced. “You don’t have the fucking right to even speak his name! Never talk about him like that again! Never!”

“Okay, okay,” you said softly, eyes wide, trying to calm her down before even more people started to stare at you. “I will never say anything like that again, honest. Just, take a breath, will you?”

“Fuck you,” Lori growled, nearly dislocating your shoulder as she tossed your arm back toward your body. 

The salads and main course came painfully slow, you staying silent the whole time as Lori fixated on Hanzo like an addict. All the other patrons at your table were giving the two of worried glances, and you gave them tenuous shrugs in response.

“Leave it to Lori to ruin my night. Again,” you whispered. Once people began to mill around for another round of drinks before dessert, you were quick to hop up and avoid Lori. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be dwelling on your friend’s outburst, and you were able to settle back into a more relaxed mood. Sipping a mint julep helped, too.

While the night was going better, you were still feeling drained before long, as if the crowd of people had sapped the life out of you, but there was some kind of dark chocolate torte coming so, of course, you were going to stay. You just needed to hide somewhere quiet for a few. That should help.

Hopefully.

It took a bit of looking, but you managed to find a little hallway in the back of the restaurant with a fancy loveseat. The spot was probably meant for storage space, but you didn’t mind. The music wasn’t so loud here, and a large fern kept you shielded you from anyone who might be passing by. As you sunk into the firm seat, a soft hum slipped from your lips. “God bless alone time,” you moaned, absentmindedly running your fingers along the velvet of the small sofa.

You weren’t sure how long you had been sitting there, and you couldn’t care less, but then a sudden flash of movement in the corner of your eye made you look up. Hanzo stood a few feet away from you, scanning the little room carefully, his posture the same as a child looking for a place to hide a broken vase.

To be honest, he was a kinda cute like this – slightly disheveled and sorta shaky. It was nice to know he wasn’t always so composed and presentable.

The moment he saw you, Hanzo jolted and quickly straightened his back, but his face wouldn’t cooperate, a slight pinch stuck in his strong brow.

“Forgive me,” he said with a tense bow, “I did not mean to disturb you.”

“You haven’t,” you said with a small smile. “I didn’t mean to catch you off guard.”

His frown grew, and he cleared his throat. “You did not, I assure you,” he said curtly.

You covered your mouth in an effort to hide your smirk – probably best not to anger the newest Overwatch partner. Hanzo ran his fingers through his hair and shifted his weight to his other foot. He looked a little like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do next.

“Were you looking for a place to avoid everyone, too,” you asked genuinely.

“I, well,” Hanzo fumbled, his body somehow going even more rigid as you watched him.

“No judgment if that’s the case,” you said leaning against the wall and taking a drink from your glass. “That’s why I’m here. Being in a room with that many other people always starts to grate on me after a while.”

“I shall leave you be then,” Hanzo said understandingly, moving back toward the party.

“No, no! I didn’t mean it like that,” you said, a flush coming to your face. “I didn’t mean to sound rude. I’m sorry. You’re more than welcome to join me if you need a break. There’s not a more secluded spot here – I checked.” You patted the seat beside you and scooted closer to the wall so there would be a more acceptable distance between the two of you.

There was still a hefty amount of hesitance in Hanzo’s appearance, but after a moment he rolled his neck and joined you. He all but flopped onto the seat, rubbing his face and letting out a deep sigh.

“Are, uh, are you alright,” you asked after a few minutes of silence, Hanzo merely sitting there with his eyes closed and his body almost frighteningly still.

“I will be,” he huffed, streching and giving you a momentary glance. “It has been a long time since I was at a gathering like this and it seems I have lost my ability to … endure this sort of thing.”

“Understandable,” you said with a small nod, taking a drink from your glass. “I felt the same way when I got this new job in public relations. Went from a quiet little cubicle to schmoozing. Ugh.”

Hanzo turned to you as you made that disgusted noise, chuckling at your grimacing face. “If you do not like the position, why did you take it?”

You shrugged. “It was upward movement, and isn’t that supposed to be a good thing? Besides, it’s not like I loved the cubicle gig. I guess I’m trying to test the waters, see what fits and what doesn’t, what I like and what I don’t. Unfortunately, it seems like I’ve been finding a lot more of the latter recently, but good lordy I’m rambling,” you laughed, brushing back your hair. “Sorry. You came back here for a reprieve from the socializing and here I am yapping at you.”

He shook his head and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “There is no need to apologize. I asked, after all. Your answer was not all that long either. In truth, I appreciated the honesty it in. If I had asked anyone else here that same question, they likely would have launched into a lengthy description of their resume and career goals in an effort to obtain a better job. Your admittance that you are unsure of what you want is … refreshing.”

A wily smile crossed your lips. “You get a lot of brown-nosers?”

“Brown-nosers?” Hanzo’s thick brows were pressed into a long, furry line. Ah hell. He was pretty damn handsome – not handsome enough to warrant Lori’s obsession, but still. Damn.

“Yeah,” you said, forcing yourself out of your momentary stupor, “brown-nosers. Have you never heard that term before?” He shook his head, and you smacked yourself in the forehead. “Whoops,” you giggled, going bright red.

“What is it,” Hanzo pressed, clearly intrigued.

“It’s just a stupid saying.”

“It seems like the colloquialisms will never end,” he muttered. “Go on, tell me then.”

“Um,” you wavered, “it basically means someone who tries to sweet talk you, saying and doing little things to make you like them.”

“Like when someone tries to ‘butter you up,” Hanzo asked, taking the whole conversation way too seriously.

“Yes, exactly,” you smiled, hoping that would be the end of it.

“Why ‘brown-nosers’ then?”

Dammit.

You groaned, biting your lip to keep from smiling any more. “It’s vaguely vulgar.”

Hanzo scoffed. “I am not a young man, miss, I am sure I can handle whatever this is.”

“Alright,” you snickered. “Ever heard the expression ‘he’s kissing your ass?’”

“Yes,” he said slowly, still not making the connection.

“Son of a – okay. So let’s say you go to literally kiss someone’s ass, can you imagine where your nose might go? And how it might get, well, brown?”

“Good lord,” Hanzo sputtered, his whole body twisting away from you as the visual took form in his mind. He grimaced, maybe even shuddered, and you burst out into laughter.

“Holy cow, I’m crying,” you coughed out, still trying to stop giggling.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Hanzo said in a somewhat pouty tone.

“You shoulda seen your face,” you giggled.

The man’s head slowly turned, revealing a glare that probably should have been terrifying, but the red tint in Hanzo’s cheeks was precious, so you just grinned back.

“I tried to warn you.”

He kept glaring, but his shoulders softened a bit. “I suppose you did.”

“You basically insisted! Was I just supposed to say ‘no’ to the fabled Hanzo Shimada? The man, the myth, the legend: Hanzo Shimada? I think not.”

A devious smirk suddenly crossed Hanzo face, and you took in a sharp breath. He was both frightening and alluring, looking at you like that. Mostly alluring. “What a little brown-noser you’ve become! A filthy habit. Quite unbecoming of a young woman such as yourself.”

Was … was he joking with you? Well, that was flattering as fuck! You beamed, shaking your head and snorted in amusment.

Hanzo was chuckling too, which you took to be an immense compliment. It was probably wrong to be feeling this giddy around your friend’s sugar daddy, but she was a shitty friend so … too bad?

As if on cue, Lori’s fanciful dress came fluttering into view. Sloppily.

“Oh no,” you whispered, your face falling flat. She was drunk. Very drunk.

“Lorelai,” Hanzo said, pursing his lips.

“Hey schnook’em,” Lori cooed, tripping over to his side and tumbling into his lap. Hanzo recoiled as her bony body hit a particularly sensitive spot.

“What are you doing,” he growled, setting Lori onto the seat in the middle of you.

“Looking for you, sexy,” she said groping his upper thigh. Hanzo instantly slapped her hand away. Lori slumped, rocking backward involuntarily and noticing your presence. “Uh, what the actual fuck are you doing here?”

“Just chatting,” you explained, knowing Lori would jump to the worst case scenario, “nothing more.”

“Why do you got to say ‘nothing more,’” she seethed.

You rolled your eyes. “Look, I’ll just go, how about that?” With a strained smile to Hanzo you stood and began to walk away, but Lori grabbed your wrist.

“Oh no you don’t! You are going to tell me what the shit you’re doing sitting by my man. And gimme that drink,” she spat, tearing the glass from your hand.

“Perhaps you have had enough, Lorelai,” Hanzo said with an annoyed drum of his fingers on his shapely forearm.

“What’s one more,” Lori shrugged, trying to lean in for a kiss, but she was only greeted with empty air as Hanzo stood up to get away from her.

“It’s just cranberry juice,” you explained to him, “it’s probably a good thing for her at this point.”

“Thank goodness someone still understands the concept of responsible drinking,” Hanzo said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Lori barked.

The frustration in Hanzo’s voice was palpable as he stared down at Lori. “You’ve gone too far, yet again. At a company function, no less.”

“Fuck this company bullshit,” Lori scoffed, “let’s go back to your place, have a little fun!”

She leaned directly for Hanzo’s crotch, and your eyes darted to the ceiling uncomfortably, but you could still see Hanzo jump back.

“Enough,” he snarled. “I have told you time and time again that is not what I want from you! Just go home, Lorelai, and try not to embarrass yourself any more on the way out.”

“I’m not leaving yet,” she snorted, “I’m having a great time! And you haven’t even danced with me yet.”

“Nor do I have any intention to, especially when you’re like this,” Hanzo said.

Lori’s attention went back to you. “Are you trying to get with my man?”

“What,” you gaped, “no! Lori, of course not! I’m not like that. I know how much you like him.”

“You lying sack of shit,” she growled, “I’ll fucking kill you!” Lori’s manicured nails were suddenly coming at your face with incredible drunk accuracy.

“Calm down, Lori,” you begged desperately, wrangling her arms to her sides. Rather quickly, she lost her strength and began crying weakly into your neck while Hanzo looked on in stunned horror.

“She’ll be fine,” you mouthed to him. “Now that she’s crying she’ll be out in like half an hour. It always goes down like this.”

“You say that as if you have seen this before,” Hanzo said quietly, angry lines forming on his forehead.

“I have,” you shrugged, patting Lori’s back halfheartedly. “You want me to take her home?”

“No,” Lori whined, trying to wiggle away from you, “I don’t wanna! And I’m mad at you! Stay away from my man.”

“But if I take you home, I’ll be away from Hanzo,” you said sweetly, toying with Lori’s alcohol-riddled mind. She fell for it, nodding weakly and letting you sling her arm over your shoulders so you could walk her out.

“What a mess,” Hanzo sighed as you tired to steady your wasted companion. “You should not have to be the one to look after her.”

“I got it,” you said with a half-smile. “Not the first time, won’t be the last. It was nice meeting you, though. Hopefully you won’t end up remembering me as just your sugar baby’s party mom.”

“That will not be the case, I promise you,” Hanzo said, reaching into his jacket. “When you get her home, please let me know. I should be the one to be dealing with her, but …”

“People to see, business to do,” you offered, slipping his shimmery card into your purse.

“Yes,” he said with a guilty look. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said heading toward the nearest exit, “no sweat, she’ll be fine and back to … whatever it is you two do soon.”

You could feel Hanzo’s eyes on you right up until the restaurant’s door swung close behind you, which was somewhat disconcerting, but you had little time to dwell on it, what with having to take care of Lori. Flagging down a taxi and shoving in an angry drunk woman inside was such a pain in the ass, almost as bad as hauling her up to her apartment and dragging her into bed while she tried to fight you. Again. The whole escapade took over an hour and a half, leaving you tired and salty afterward.

“I hope those stupid glittery tights give you a rash, Lori,” you muttered, walking back onto the city’s bustling streets and pulling out your cell. Calling Hanzo at this time of night seemed strange – inconveniencing or inappropriate, but leaving the man’s request unfulfilled seemed just as wrong, so you dialed his number shakily.

“Please don’t be there, please don’t be there,” you whispered. “Just let me leave a voicemail so I don’t have to – ”

“Hanzo Shimada speaking.” He sounded just as formidable over the phone. Of course he did.

“H-hello, Mr. Shimada. I’m just calling to let you know that I got Lori home safe, no need to worry. She’s asleep and not going anywhere.”

He sighed, and his voice was a bit gentler the next time he spoke. “Thank you for keeping me informed, it is much appreciated.”

“Not a problem,” you said, bouncing on your heels. “I’ll let you get back to the party now. Take care.”

“Just a moment,” Hanzo said hurriedly, “I am no longer needed here, and I would like to … discuss something with you, if you have a moment.”

“Oh,” you said timidly, trying to understand why on Earth this man was bothering with you. Had you done something wrong? You had probably done something wrong. Or maybe he just needed to threaten you into keeping the sloppy antics of his sugar baby quiet? That kinda made sense.

“Forgive me, I just looked at my watch. It is dreadfully late, perhaps I should just speak with you tomorrow,” Hanzo said after your long pause.

“No, no, that’s fine. I suddenly find myself wide awake,” you huffed, massaging your temple.

“Is something wrong,” he asked slowly. “I do not wish to bother you.”

You laughed through the tension building in your gut. “Oh, you know, it’s just not every day you go to a swanky party, meet a mass of important people, haul your unappreciative wasted friend home, and then start up a chat with one of the biggest names in the business world. Hell of a night. Hell. Of. A. Night.”

Hanzo chuckled at your frazzled tone which really did not make you feel better. “I do believe Lorelai’s behavior cost you your dessert course. Allow me to make it up to you. Where are you?”

“Um,” you hesitated, “still by Lori’s.”

“Wonderful,” he said, his voice becoming much more casual, “meet me at Leone’s Confections. I will be there as soon as I am able.”

The line went dead, and you were left staring at the touchscreen in disbelief. “The fuck have I gotten myself into?”

While it wasn’t exactly a short walk to the little candy shop, the trip flew by as your imagination began to race with possible scenarios for the rest of your night. You couldn’t help but think about the rumors about Hanzo – the missing competitors, the arson suspicions, the ruined lives of those who spoke against him. Not to mention his brother. No one knew for sure when had happened to him, but you had seen the younger Shimada for yourself, patched back together with circuitry and metal.

You were scared.

Surrounded by the heavenly scent of sweet flavors, but scared.

Maybe you’d at least get some good chocolate before you were blackmailed and forced to leave the country?

A small bell dinged, and Hanzo strode through the door of the otherwise empty establishment, exchanging a friendly greeting with the old man behind the counter before coming to join you at the small table.

“I hope I did not keep you waiting,” he said sitting across from you and crossing his leg over the opposite knee.

“N-no,” you said, the word crumbling in your throat.

Hanzo’s head tipped to the side curiously. “Are you feeling alright? You are shaking.”

“Fine, sir, fine,” you lied, clamping your hands together to keep them from twitching with nerves.

“Sir?” Hanzo seemed almost offended, but then he looked at the empty table and glanced at the shop owner and sighed. “Leone, this is not that type of meeting, no need to be inhospitable. Turn on the music, get the woman a drink.”

“How was I supposed to know,” the other man grumped, “most of the time when you bring people here in the middle of the night it’s not for pleasantries.”

Classical music began to float from the speakers and Leone brought you each a cup of water, convincing you to relax just a hair. As Leone set down your glass, he leaned in to whisper, “Usually he’s here threatening gents and smackin’ people around. There’s a reason Mr. Fancy-Pants-McGee wears black gloves, little lady.”

“Leone,” Hanzo warned with a scowl.

“They don’t show the blood stains,” Leone explained. Your eyes went wide, and you couldn’t think of anything to say in response, especially when the old fart winked at you.

“LEONE!”

The man burst out laughing and walked away as Hanzo put his head in his hands miserably.

You were going to beat Lori’s skinny ass for getting you into this.

“That is not true,” Hanzo said once he looked up and saw your terrified face. “Well, somewhat true, but – chikushō! I am not here to hurt you, I promise, and please, do not be frightened of me. You are safe here, I assure you.”

Hanzo’s face was oddly … sad, as if your fear was a terrible scolding. “Alright,” you said with a deep breath, “it’s just, well, this is a lot to take in. I’m not used to being around people of your, I suppose, rank. Alone. In the dead of night.”

“You apprehension is understandable,” Hanzo said softly, smiling at you in a way that made your heart race, “but I hope it will dissipate.”

“Not gonna lie to you,” you said with a small smirk, “chocolate would help.”

His rolling laugh was loud enough to fill the whole room and warm enough to give you the shivers. “When does chocolate not help? Leone! Put your finest blend on the stove for me, will you?”

“It’s already bubblin,” the old man replied, “want it doctored up tonight?”

Hanzo looked back to you. “How do you prefer your cocoa? Minty? Topped with cinnamon? Extra rich?”

“Is kicked in the ass with chili pepper an option?”

“Oh, I like her,” Leone snickered.

“An excellent choice,” Hanzo agreed with a grin.

A few moments later you were breathing in the scent of perfectly spiced cocoa and marveling at the impeccable taste dancing along your tongue. Your eyes were closed in reverence and for a second or two you for all about the situation around you.

“Ara ma-a,” Hanzo murmured softly, making you jump. He was staring at you, something like shock on his face.

“What is it,” you asked, wiping your nose in case you had whipped cream on it.

“You are beautiful. Incredibly so. I could not help but notice at the dinner party, but seeing you here, like this – perfection.”

“I don’t know what you say,” you admitted, face red as a rose and innards twisting like old roots.

“Perhaps I was wrong,” he said slyly, “seeing you flustered is somehow even more immaculate.”

“Oh, now you’re just trying to rile me up,” you scoffed, laughing at your own embarrassment. “Rude, sir. Very rude.”

“It needed to be said,” he insisted, still ogling you.

“I’m sorry,” you said shaking the timidity from your mid, leaning forward onto the table and looking Hanzo right in the eye, “don’t you already have a girl on your arm? My friend, even? It’s downright dishonorable of you to be showering me with flirtations and stealing glimpses of me in this low cut dress like that.”

“What,” he gulped, jolting back and looking at you disbelief, “I was not – I would never do such a thing! Yes, I may have been … forward with my compliments, and I apologize if that was too much, but I swear I was not ‘stealing glimpses’ of – ”

You let out a loud snort as you started laughing again. “Got you good, didn’t I, Mr. Shimada?”

He frowned at you, face pinched as you giggled and drank your hot chocolate. “You were joking.”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Trying to frazzle me as I frazzled you.”

“Yup.”

“Hm,” he grunted, slowly crossing his arms and looking you up and down, “not many are brave enough to do such a thing.”

“You’re the one who started it,” you muttered, peeking out from behind your mug.

A smile bloomed on his face again. “It was not my intention to upset you! I was only – ”

“Only saying crazy flirty stuff that would make any girl stammer!”

He set out a loud scoff, but shrugged in agreement. “I suppose that is true. Please accept my sincere apology. It has been a long time since someone had the nerve to call me out on what I say and it seems I may have lost touch with conventional social guidelines.”

“Well at least you were saying sweet things,” you replied, “it’s not as if I mind too much. I hope you weren’t too offended by me messing with you. Couldn’t help myself.”

“No offense was taken at all. Maybe I need more of that, in fact. I have not felt this … normal in ages.”

There was a weariness in Hanzo’s eyes that was undeniable, as if there was far too much weighing down on the man.

“Hey,” you said gently, “are you alright? I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

“You have not,” Hanzo said with a wave of his hand, “I did. It seems my mind is swaying into darker places all of a sudden, even in such pleasant company.”

With one last gulp, you finished the last of your drink and set it aside so you could scoot closer to Hanzo. The bags under his eyes were heavy. “Why don’t you tell me why you asked me here so you can go home and rest. You look exhausted.”

“I am,” he sighed, staring out the window, “and the exhaustion never seems to go away.” After a lengthy pause, Hanzo’s gaze shifted back to you with a thin smile. “What a terrible host I am, lapsing into pensive silences and forcing you to stay up so late. I am not usually this thoughtless.”

“At least the drinks are good,” you teased lightly, “now, tell me what else you need from me before you pass out in that chair.”

“Right,” he huffed, gloves running through his long bangs, “I mostly wished to compensate you for any trouble Lorelai may have caused you – the cab fare, things of that sort.”

“No need,” you said, “I may have grabbed her credit card out of her purse and used it to pay for the ride home.”

Hanzo chuckled, “I can hardly blame you.”

“I wasn’t going to, but then she went and tore my favorite coat,” you said examining the mangled seam of your jacket. “Guess I was feeling a little petty.”

“You should have seen me after she vomited on my bed. I was irate,” Hanzo grimaced.

“Ugh,” you said with a shudder, “that’s disgusting!”

Again Hanzo lingered, as if he didn’t quite want to leave his seat despite the budding sunset.

“Is there anything else, Mr. Shimada?”

“Yes, yes ther is. Just one more thing, something that I will likely regret asking, but must nonetheless. Are you, by any chance, available? I have dismissed Lorelai from my employ and am looking for someone to take her place. I would very much like it to be you.”

“O-oh,” you blurted bluntly, shocked by his offer.

Hanzo was on his feet in a flash, taking a step back from you. “Forgive me, I should not have – ”

“It’s okay,” you said quickly, heat radiating from your cheeks, “I was just surprised is all! I didn’t mean to seem unappreciative or – ”

“There is no need to explain,” he said, his voice abrasive and cold all at once.

“But I want to,” you said desperately, standing in front of him with your hands over your heart. “It’s not that I’m not flattered – I am – but I’ve never done anything like that before, being a sugar baby or whatever you want to call it! I’m not from a wealthy family like Lori is, I don’t know fancy table manners like she does, heck, I was terrified to go to this party tonight because I was afraid everyone would know what a cheap dress this is. I’ve never owned anything designer-y in my life! You’re a refined man, and you should have someone equally refined on your arm.”

“Refined,” Hanzo repeated, inching closer to you and sitting on the table, his arm close enough to touch if you just extended your fingers. “I have been with refined women most of my life, some very unrefined ones as well, but I am alone yet again. None of them have ever been what I needed. You, however.” He took your hand, turning it over in his own. “I have smiled more with you in the last half hour than I have in years. I do not care how you were raised, what cutlery you use, or what brand you wear. I simply want you. As you are. To see if this feeling of ease you have given me can last.

Unfortunately, I am not in a position to date normally. My past is … complicated, and I will not burden anyone with the mess of a man I have become. Should you be interested in spending some time with me, I would happily pay you. I would prefer it that way, honestly. This sort of arrangement allows me to see someone with enough distance to – Forgive me, I don’t know how to explain it. I simply feel better like this, with a clean cut exchange of services, odd as that may seem.”

“I understand,” you said thoughtfully, “well, maybe not entirely, but enough. The payments makes you feel as if there is a more proper trade, and if something goes wrong, things can be cut short with less drama. Hopefully. But I guess there’s always a Lori or two out there to complicates things.”

“True,” he laughed, rubbing his eyes. “On all accounts. I believe that is why the ‘sugar daddy’ relationship appeals to me, at least for now.”

You took another moment to think, but in all honesty, your mind was already made up. Hanzo was a fascinating, handsome, captivating man, and you couldn’t deny the attraction pumping through your body. And life in this city wasn’t cheap. Maybe you should try something new, something you craved for the sheer unusualness of it all.

“I’m free tomorrow,” you said leadingly.

“Really,” he asked, brows high.

“Sure am. You might have to be patient with me, though. I’ve never done anything even remotely like this before.”

“You have my word, I will never force you into anything you do not wish to do,” he said, squeezing your hand before letting it drop. 

“Sounds good then,” you smiled.

Hanzo stood, and you automatically swayed closer to him. Good god, he was doing things to you … Things the world had taught you to be ashamed of. Things that felt wonderful.

“I am overjoyed to have you to accept,” he said, “but I should warn you.”

“What,” you groaned worriedly.

He smirked. “I usually start arrangements of this nature with a kiss. A way to test the waters, if you will.”

“Oh is that so,” you said doubtfully. Hanzo only shrugged, his grin widening. You pretended to think it over for a moment, something in the sweet shop’s glass case catching your eye. “I’ll let you kiss me on the cheek,” you said firmly, “but that’s all I’m comfortable with tonight.”

“I will happily take what I can get,” he hummed, putting his hand on your waist and pulling you closer. His kiss was incredibly tender and lingered just long enough to make you want more. Fuck. He might be too good.

“Are you sure that is all you want,” he asked, fingers winding to the small of your back.

“Yes? Yes! For now.” You returned his kiss with a quick peck on Hanzo’s cheekbone. “Bribe me with some dark chocolate raspberry truffles, and I’ll probably let you have a proper smooch. Maybe.”

“I will keep that in mind,” he laughed.

“I swear I’m not a sellout,” you said awkwardly, embarrassed by your own offer.

“Do not be ashamed of this, my beauty, or you will not enjoy it, and I would hate for that to happen,” Hanzo said, releasing you.

“I’ll do my best,” you said, feeling a bit lightheaded. He walked you to the street, waving down a taxi and paying the driver in advance.

“Thank you, Mr. Shimada,” you said through the window, the cabbie more than willing to let you chat another moment as he counted out his lofty tip.

“My pleasure, but we will have to discuss this “Mr. Shimada’ matter next time we meet.”

“Would you prefer I call you something else?”

He stroked his jawline carefully. “That will depend on the nature of our relationship. Usually, Mr. Shimada is fine, but perhaps not for you.” He leaned onto the metal of the car door, a scheming look in his eyes. “In time, I will likely allow you to call be Hanzo in private, possibly even in public if this goes well. But,” he leaned in closer, “if this goes very well, I will hopefully be able to convince you to call me ‘master,’ at least when I have you strung up above my bed.”

In an instant your whole body was flushed red, stunned and hungering for more, your mouth stammering uselessly. 

“Into the kinky shit,” the cab driver said, ruining the mood, “nice.”

Both you and Hanzo glared at the man in perfect time.

“Do not make me come in there,” Hanzo growled, “I imagine it would be quite hard for you to do your job with all ten of your fingers broken.”

“And sitting in a car all day after surgery for a broken urethra isn’t real fun either,” you snapped.

The driver’s eyes went wide, and his mouth clamped shut.

“Good choice,” you mumbled, turning back to Hanzo for a quick good night, but he was staring at you with a dumbfounded expression that made you laugh. “Okay, so, once upon a time in college I may have kicked a misogynist in the crotch so hard I broke his dick. It was an accident, but not one I really regretted.”

“Wa-o,” he sputtered, melting into laughter so strong he had to wipe tears from his eyes, “you are a marvel. Go, now, before I change my mind and beg you to come home with me.”

“Okay,” you giggled, thankful you hadn’t scared him off. “Take care, and get some sleep, alright? You look you could keel over.”

“I will,” he promised you with a warm smile. “Until tomorrow, my beauty.”


	2. Skyscrapers and Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was beginning now, whatever this was with Hanzo, and it was off to a daunting start.

True to his word, Hanzo reached out to you about lunchtime the next day, and the two of you set up a dinner date. Right away, you realized that being with ‘Mr. Shimada’ was going to be _nothing_ like being with any other man. Half an hour after your phone call, a tailor was texting you and asking for your dress size. Then someone asking about the coat Lori had drunkenly ruined. Then someone else wondering about jewelry preferences and shoe sizes. And handbags. _Handbags!_ You owned all of two purses and one of them was just collecting dust in your closet.

“This is either very micromanage-y or very flattering, and I can’t tell which,” you snorted to yourself as the requests stopped flooding in. A full two and a half hours before you were supposed to meet Hanzo, a whole retinue of people were knocking on your apartment door carrying what appeared to be five different outfits. All immaculate, all dripping in elegance, and all probably worth more than six months of your rent. You were speechless as the hoard came in, hung up their wares, and handed you a bundle of business cards. Evidently, they wanted this to be a reoccurring thing, but you were completely overwhelmed, even as they all filed out, leaving you alone in your home once again.

A few hours ago you’d been all excited to start all this up, but now . . . It was intimidating.

Part of your wanted to call it all off, tell Hanzo, “Sorry, but this is just _way_ too much for me,” and bolt. But then something caught your eye amidst all the fanciness of the clothing and accessories: a note, the handwriting on the front gorgeous enough to blend in with the expensive name brands, and the simple scrap of paper plain enough to stand out.

With a curious frown, you unfolded the paper and began to read.

_‘I remembered your concerns regarding your dress last night, and thought I might provide you with some options for this evening. Hopefully, something will be to your liking. You are, of course, welcome to wear whatever you like, designer or not. I only hoped I might help you feel a bit more confident in yourself. There is not a doubt in my mind that you will look stunning._

_See you soon, my beauty,_

_Hanzo_

_By the way, do not be alarmed if the stylists were daunting, they always are. They are in sales, after all, and often feel like leeches.’_

You grinned, shaking your head and sighing. “This fucker is too smooth.” The rest of the evening was spent lazily getting dolled up and trying not to google how much the new things in your wardrobe cost – that just felt rude. By the time you were heading out of your building, you felt fantastic. You could handle this. It was only dating, right? More structured dating? With extra cash?

Right?

Confidence boost from swanky clothes aside, stepping out of your dingy taxi into the shadow of a beautiful skyscraper that glimmered like a pearlescent beacon was staggering. In a moment you felt out of place, trying not to gawk or stare at everything around you. But you couldn’t help it. Just look at the size of these marble pillars! And the spires? What on Earth made them _shine_ like that?! And –

The sensation of something gracing the small of your back made you jump half a foot into the air and let out a shrill yelp. Your head whipped to the side to see a stunned Hanzo looking back at you, his hands up in surrender.

“Forgive me. I did not mean to frighten you,” he said quickly, “are you – ”

You fell apart into a fit of loud laughter, embarrassed by your over the top reaction and delighted by Hanzo’s shocked expression. You’d never seen him quite so  . . . expressive.

“Are you feeling well,” Hanzo asked slowly, his palm nearing you again, but stopping a few inches short.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, Mr. Shimada. Thank you. Sorry about, well, _that_ ,” you giggled, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“I can see that,” he said, a small smile crossing his face.

“Don’t you start smirking at me,” you said jokingly smacking his arm, “it’s rude to mock a girl’s pain.”

He chuckled, taking a step closer to you. “But of course, my apologies. However, it is not my fault you look so delectable with a flush on your cheeks.”

“Why you son of a,” you said, faking a threatening tone, which only made both of you smile wider. “You –  You – You’re lucky I’m too hungry to come up with a good comeback,” you fumbled. God _damn_ he looked good in that fitted suit vest, his pectorals framed with satin like the masterpieces they were.

Hanzo very carefully took your waist and began to guide you away from the street, “Well, we cannot have that, can we? Come, let us get you some sustenance to fuel that wit of yours.”

The two of you were led by a sharply dressed hostess to a remote table on a balcony that overlooked the rest of the diners. Candles and flowers adorned the white tablecloth making you bite your lip gleefully. Everything was so classically romantic.

And you adored it.

“You look ravishing, by the way,” Hanzo said pulling out your chair for you.

“Thank you,” you said, not entirely sure what to do with yourself – no one had ever done such a thing for you before.

Once Hanzo was seated beside you there was a bevy of light discussion. Talk of the menu, the ambiance, things of that nature before the waiter came by and took your drink order, leaving you and your new employer in an uneasy silence.

“Well then,” you said leaning back and crossing your legs, “should we stop pretending this is a normal first date now?”

“There is that lovely boldness,” Hanzo said shaking his head in amusement.

“Am I not supposed to talk about the fact that we are . . . what we are,” you asked cautiously.

“No, we may discuss anything you like, our arrangement or otherwise. I imagine you have questions,” he said leaning closer to you, eyes flickering with the candlelight, making them somehow even more tantalizing.

“To be honest,” you said, resisting the urge to stroke his greying temples, “I just want to know what to expect. Lori would talk about you all the time, but I could never figure you guys out. This is all just confusing to me.”

“What exactly did Lorelai say,” Hanzo said with a scowl, “I will let you know now, I greatly value privacy and candor, especially in such personal matters.”

“As do I,” you assured him, “but I wouldn’t worry too much about Lori. No one, well, how do I put this nicely? No one . . . takes her seriously.”

“Ah,” Hanzo grunted, “how is it I am only learning of that woman’s reputation _after_ having seen her for a number of months.”

“Isn’t that usually how it goes? You dump someone and _then_ all your friends tell you how shitty your ex really was?”

“Perhaps in more common relationships, but Lorelai and I were together by contract, not chance. I was supposed to know what I was getting into from the start,” he huffed.

You snickered, “Sounds like you got swindled there, Mr. Shimada.”

“Indeed. I suppose that is what I get for allowing my brother to suggest a woman for me.”

“Wait,” you gaped, “you let your brother pick for you? And _that’s_ who he went with? _For you?_ ”

Hanzo only groaned in response.

“Was it a prank,” you laughed.

“Possibly, but I doubt it. Perhaps when we were younger, he may have done something like this, but he has changed much since then. I imagine he meant well.”

“Maybe he thought someone completely opposite from you might make you see the world a little differently,” you offered.

“That seems feasible,” he shrugged, “but it was still a terrible choice.”

“Oh undoubtedly,” you scoffed, smiling at the waiter as he set down your beverage. When you turned back to Hanzo, he was staring at you with a gentle expression. “What,” you asked squirming a bit.

“You asked me what to expect,” Hanzo began, “well, this is everything I am hoping for. I reach out to you, you agree to meet me, we chat, enjoy one another’s company, and you help me forget about the rest of the world for a moment or two. I know you have your own life, your own matters to handle, so I will not be too greedy with your time. All I am hoping for is some distracting time with a beautiful, honest, intelligent woman. You will always have the choice to say no, or leave, or refuse me. The last thing I want is for you to feel trapped or forced into anything.”

“I appreciate that,” you said softly, “and I think I can handle trying to keep you occupied for a few hours now and then.”

“Have you been worrying during our time apart,” he asked with a coy grin. “Fretting over what I might make you do?”

“Well you _did_ say you were going to tie me up over your bed and make me call you master,” you whispered harshly.

Hanzo threw his head back and laughed, “Yes, I can see how that may have been a bit . . . much.”

“You bet your ass it was,” you hissed, feigning anger, but Hanzo only sipped his wine and smirked at you.

The appetizer and entrée were fantastic, as was the conversation that ensued. Things felt much more casual now, less apprehensive on both sides. He asked you plenty about yourself and answered most of your questions, albeit somewhat vaguely at times. It was clear there were some things he simply didn’t wish to discuss. His preferences? Just fine – he happily told you all about his affinity for cold weather over hot. But his childhood? Not so much. All you’d received was a tense response about finishing schools and a focus on education. And his parents? Absolutely not. His whole demeanor had changed, and it was enough to warrant fear clawing up your throat. You would not ask about that again.

All in all, it seemed Hanzo was much more interested in hearing about you than speaking about himself, so you indulged him. It was your job now, wasn’t it? To cater to his whims and try to have some fun in the process? Besides, it wasn’t as if he was _always_ keeping you at bay, there had been a few interesting stories and revealing anecdotes throughout the meal. You wouldn’t have taken him for the sort to enjoy sci-fi novels and detest autobiographies.

When the end of the evening rolled around, you were shocked to notice three hours had gone by in a flash. For someone who had such a reputation for ruthlessness and heartlessness, he was remarkably easy to get along with. Almost worryingly so. You had no doubt there was a side of him you weren’t seeing, but at the moment you didn’t care. Instead, you kept telling yourself everyone had a side like that, yourself included. Sure, the parts of yourself that you were hiding probably weren’t as violent as his, but nonetheless, they were hidden.

“It seems to have become quite late on us again,” Hanzo said as the last of the plates were cleared.

“Looks like it,” you sighed.

“You sound disappointed,” he said, a pleased tone in his voice.

“Maybe a little,” you admitted, “this was really nice.”

“Indeed it was,” he smiled, “but tomorrow promises to be a long day, so I am afraid I must be on my way, unfortunately.”

“I understand,” you nodded, “first Monday of the month is always a bitch for me, too.”

Hanzo chuckled and offered you his arm as you stood, “Your crass is amusing.”

“Let me guess,” you said, “most people are much more composed around you?”

“Generally yes.”

“Well I’m glad you’re not offended by a little cursing because that’s a cornerstone of who I am,” you said honestly, “for better or worse.”

“As long as you have the good sense to know when to censor yourself, I have no objections,” Hanzo said placing his hand over yours, rubbing the back of your palm affectionately. This bastard was too suave.

Once back outside Hanzo continued to keep you close, and you had no intentions of shying away as you waited for his chauffeur to pull around. 

“May I ask you one more thing, Mr. Shimada?”

“Please do,” he responded warmly.

“Am I allowed to call on you, too? Say, if I’m the one who needs a distraction,” you asked tentatively.

A broad smile crossed Hanzo’s face, and his eyes shimmered. “I would like nothing more than for you to desire time with me as I desire time with you. I cannot guarantee I will always be available, but I will always appreciate the sentiment.”

“Good to know,” you laughed, rather surprised at how such a small thing had made Hanzo so thrilled. How long had it been since he had someone he cared for in his life? Or someone who cared for him?

“I have one last gift for you,” Hanzo said, letting go of you and reaching into the back seat of his fancy car. He came back with a small box stamped with the Leone’s Confections logo on the lid. You instantly burst out laughing.

“A gift or a bribe?”

“You say ‘bribe’ as if it’s a bad thing,” he grinned, “but it’s only a bribe if you give me what I want.”

“Touché,” you cooed, taking the box and tucking it into your purse before quickly pulling Hanzo toward you.

Part of you was proud to have taken Hanzo off guard, his whole body jolting just hair as you put a hand to his cheek and pressed your lips to his, but he recovered in an instant. His hands gravitated to your sides, almost massaging you as they held you tight. He was eager, but not forceful. Longing, but not reckless. He was careful and gentle, but somehow silently begging you not to pull away.

He was astounding.

But you were still in the middle of the street, in plain view, with a man you’d only met yesterday, so you regretfully leaned away from him, your heart still racing. The ever lovely sight of Hanzo with a slight blush greeted you once you opened your eyes.

“I sincerely hope these little surprises you keep springing on me never cease,” he murmured weakly.

“I’ll do what I can, especially since ‘you look delectable with a flush on your cheeks,’” trying to mimic Hanzo’s low tone.

“My beauty,” he growled hungrily, cupping your face in his gloved palm and tracing his thumb along your jawline, “are you going to be trouble?”

“You asked for it,” you said cheekily. “See you soon?”

“Yes,” he said earnestly. “Are you always going to leave me with these damned cravings for you when we part?”

“Not always,” you giggled, “but at least for the first few dates. Gotta be professional, after all. Make a good impression with the new boss.”

“You already have, my beauty,” he hummed, “you already have.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Originally Posted at my Tumblr: prettyfunkyunorganized.tumblr.com  
> \- Business World AU inspired by a friend's post: https://watch-your-grammer.tumblr.com/post/172766939663/sugardaddygabriel-reyes-x-reader-pt-1-nsfw  
> \- Thank you all so much for your support of the last chapter! It means an immense amount to me. I will try to keep the chapters coming as quickly as my personal life will allow.


	3. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo has had a particularly taxing day a the office and you are done sending hints, you need each other's release. NSFW.

It had been a little over a month since Hanzo and you had that first dinner date, each week peppered with occasional outings with your new man. He always started out as a perfect gentleman – the definition of chivalry and charm – but as the night went on, he’d slowly look at you with a more mischievous glint in his eye and his comments would become just a touch more bold.

Watching him turn from refined businessman to a lust filled man toeing the line of appropriate behavior was always a delight. You were intoxicated by the effect you had on him, thrilled by the idea of seeing just how undone you could make Hanzo before he straightened his tie with a heated face and apologized.

But, despite how Hanzo held you as long as he could, how his movements communicated just how touch-starved he was, how longingly he look at you as you parted ways, the two of you had still never had sex. You figured it was him trying to be polite or just missing your hints at how much you wanted him, but now you were nearing your breaking point.

You wanted him. Every bit of him. You had dreams about tracing the lines of his defined chest with your fingertips, having him grab you by the back of the head and pin you against the wall, squeezing your legs around his waist as he ground your bodies together.

“Fucking a,” you grumbled, shaking yourself out of your fantasy, thankful you were at home and not surrounded by co-workers who could catch you day-dreaming. Again.

As if the heavens above had seen your desperate pining and taken pity on you, your phone buzzed with a message from Hanzo:

‘My chauffeur is on his way to you. He will bring you to my home, and you will wait for me there.’

“Well that’s not like him,” you murmured to yourself. Hanzo always _asked_ for you to join him, never demanded. Nonetheless, you couldn’t bring yourself to pass up a chance to spend time with him, much less in his home that you had a burning curiosity for. So, you hurried to make yourself a bit more presentable, opting to slip into a matching set of fancy lingerie just in case.

Of course, Hanzo lived in an exquisite skyscraper, and the view from the glass elevator was enough to make you swoon right up until you reached the top floor. “I might have known,” you chuckled to yourself as you held your palm up to the scanner that led to his penthouse, “only the swankiest of everything for you, Mr. Shimada.”

The entire house greeted you as you crossed the threshold, welcoming you by name and slowly raising the lights. Your entire apartment could fit in his kitchen alone, and the massive mural that spread across the wall of his living room probably cost more than you’d make in a year.

You were suddenly very glad Hanzo wasn’t here to see you gaping at his home like a star-struck child, mouth agape and all. Just as you settled in to stare at an intricate carving on the wall that looked to be from ancient times, the door slid open again, and an angry huff made you stop dead.

Without so much as a glance in your direction, Hanzo loosened his tie and tossed his briefcase in a seemingly random direction, a growl bubbling up from his throat as his shucked off his shoes. You could have sworn you heard the cracks in his rolling neck from across the room.

Stress seemed to drip from him, making his entire body look heavy and unmanageable. You hadn’t seen him this riled up since that first night you’d met him.

“Are you alright,” you asked quietly, approaching him slowly.

His eyes darted up and were quickly shrouded by a scowl. “Your heels,” he said lowly, “if you do not mind.”

That scolding, disapproving tone made your heart race, and you instantly stopped, scuttling over to him with shoes in hand. “Sorry,” you mumbled awkwardly, “guess I was a little shell-shocked by your place. I didn’t mean to be rude.” You looked to his face, then instantly lowered your gaze at the way his resolute features bore into you. Suddenly you were reminded of the fear you had felt on your way to Luciano’s and the old man’s words.

‘There’s a reason Mr. Fancy-Pants-McGee wears black gloves, little lady.’

As Hanzo’s hand came toward you, your shoulders involuntarily winced, making him stop and sigh dismally.

“I did not mean to be so callous,” he said softly, walking around you toward the sofa, giving you a much wider berth than necessary. “Forgive me, I am not my best self today. Perhaps it would be best if you go back to – ”

“Hey now,” you said running up behind him and taking his hand, “I was just caught a little off guard is all, no reason to send me home early.” You smiled and planted a light kiss on his cheek. “There’s no other place I’d rather be than right here.”

Hanzo wrapped his arm around you and buried his face in your neck, breathing deeply, an action much more intimate that he had ever performed with you before, but you found your fingers snaking into his silken hair naturally.

“What happened?”

“Nothing you need concern yourself with,” he grumbled, “nothing more than – ”

He cell began chirping, and he threw his head back and groaned. “Maji ka yo!”

Hanzo turned from you and began typing furiously on the small screen. Looked like someone was getting their ass ripped.

You absently went back to ogling the art on the walls until Hanzo grabbed you by the waist and pulled you flush against his body as you giggled. It was wonderful to be alone and this close to him, but at the same time, it wasn’t enough. “Long day, Mr. Shimada,” you asked, gently swaying your bodies from side to side as he leaned into you.

“Yes.” He hummed, long and achingly as you laid your hands over his.

“Is it over now? Are you done for the night?”

“I doubt it,” he scoffed, almost moving away from you, but your fingers found his neck and lulled him back into you just in time. The more of his skin you could touch, the better. “But I believe I may have bought us a least a few minutes.”

“Good,” you purred, turning around to kiss him eagerly, “then let’s make the most of it.”

His entire body curled into you, his large hands grabbing and groping at any spot they could find purchase, your lips only parting to suck in a quick breath. You couldn’t stop stroking the small amount of flesh exposed by the collar of his crisp shirt and tugging at buttons in an effort to uncover more of him.

“Enough,” Hanzo gulped, taking a step back from you, making you pout like a toddler.

“Why,” you asked, more forcefully than you intended.

“I do not wish to force you into anything,” he said, unable to look at you.

“Oh come on,” you groaned, gripping his arms and yanking him toward you as his eyes grew wide with surprise. You grinned and let your hands roam to his tight ass to hold him in place. “I want you, _now_ , and I can tell you want me, too. Or is that just your girthy billfold in your pocket?”

He let out a hearty laugh that was quickly stifled by a moan as you rubbed yourself against him. “Damn it, woman . . . You are going to make me – ”

His phone buzzed again, and he looked to it with equal parts hatred and sadness.

“They’ll be fine a few more minutes,” you cooed, guiding his cell back into his pocket. “Let me work a little of that tension out of you. I promise whatever is happening won’t look nearly as bad when you’ve let out some of that frustration.”

Hanzo responded by crashing his lips into yours, kissing you hard enough that you would undoubtedly be sore afterward, but you didn’t have a single complaint. He stripped off his tie, jacket, vest, shirt, and gloves like they were on fire before tearing off your shirt with a wide smile. Your bra matched the blue of his tattoo perfectly, a detail you knew he would appreciate.

“I’ve been making sure your payments went to a worthy cause,” you giggled as Hanzo backed you into the long ottoman. You dragged him down with you, nails digging into his back.

“Worthy cause indeed,” he chuckled, nibbling your ear as he slid off your pants and then dropped his own.

Your chest heaved as Hanzo’s mouth explored your body, his uncovered cock flirting with your wet pussy. He had you shivering and mewling before ever entering you. With a quick flick, your panties were tossed aside and your bra soon followed.

His phone buzzed again.

“No, no, please,” you whimpered as Hanzo’s attention wavered, “you’re here with me. _Stay_ here with me. Don’t let the office drag you back in now.”

He smirked down at your naked form, his thumb circling your clit and causing you back to arch in a needy way. “Just how long have you been yearning for me like this?”

“Long enough,” you almost snapped, wriggling closer to his crotch.

“You are lucky there are others and clamoring for my attention,” he said, thrusting halfway into you, “otherwise I would tease you all night, seeing what pretty little noises I could get out of you.”

The rest of his length suck deep into you, a weak cry bursting from your chest as pleasure ran through you. Hanzo’s pace was brisk, leaving you panting within only a minute or two, but it was fantastic to have him sheathed inside of you. One of his hands was planted on the cushion underneath you, and the other steadied your thigh as he pumped in and out, in and out. You began to massage your breasts as the pressure within you built. You knew your pelvis would be battered tomorrow, but you gritted your teeth and let the man pummel you.

Soon it was almost too much. Too forceful. Too harsh.

“Ha-Hanzo,” you gasped, trying to choke something out as a war of pain and pleasure raged in your core.

His ringtone filled the air, making Hanzo snarl ferociously and glare down at his rumpled pants on the floor.

You thought he had been going at you with all his might before, but you were wrong. His speed and brutality increased twofold, leaving you cringing and squirming for relief as the little melody rang out again. Whoever was calling him had terrible timing.

Just as you were about to scream for Hanzo to stop, he finished, curling over you as he mercifully grew still. You gripped the edge of the ottoman and pulled yourself away, rolling onto the cushion, left unsatisfied.

“What is it,” Hanzo hissed into his phone, sitting on the floor beside the sofa and sprawling out as the person on the other line sputtered back with incredible speed.

You laid there for a while, watching him focus on nothing but the conversation. It was as if you were no longer there, like you’d fulfilled your purpose and were now no longer necessary.

And maybe you weren’t.

Wasn’t that the nature of this thing you had with him? To carry out a service, get paid for it, and then move on?

You knew that was the case but . . . why did it hurt so bad?

Because you’d gotten attached. Because you’d forgotten that he was your sugar daddy, not your boyfriend. Because you’d started to like him as more than an employer.

“You dumbass,” you grumbled to yourself, not loud enough for Hanzo to notice, but he did look up when you rose from your spot and began to walk away. He snatched your hand and shook his head when you looked back to him.

“Stay,” he mouthed, refusing to let go of you until you had plopped down on the sofa again.

He was on the phone another twenty minutes, four times as long as your one-sided fucking, giving you more than enough time to mull over your disappointment and memorize the pattern of the tiled mosaic in the kitchen. You knew your first time with someone was rarely perfect, but you’d been hoping for so much more than what Hanzo had given – at the very least you’d thought a man like him would be considerate enough to help you cum, but evidently not. Maybe he was lovely on dates and shitty in bed, which, if you were being honest, was a huge letdown. It had been ages since you’d had a good orgasm and now it seemed you’d be waiting all over again.

A frustrated sigh made your entire body sink deeper into the couch as Hanzo hung up the phone and sat beside you.

“What is wrong,” he asked, stroking the top of your back where the throw you had wrapped around yourself didn’t quite reach.

“Nothing,” you lied, turning over so he could no longer pet your bare skin.

“What is it,” he repeated more firmly, taking your chin and turning it so you had to face him.

“Don’t worry about,” you murmured, starting to stand again, “maybe I ought to just head home for the night.”

“Please,” he blurted, the strain in his voice rooting you in place. “Stay. Tell me what is troubling you. I will do all I can to make it right. I – I do not want to be alone tonight, and, even more than that, I do not wish for you to hide things from me. There is enough of that in every other part of my life.”

You looked back at him over your shoulder and huffed. He was so stinking cute when he got that timid look on his face, especially now as he grabbed a throw pillow to cover his still naked body.

“Oh alright,” you said, pursing your lips to keep from smiling, “I’ll stay.”

“Thank you,” he nodded, gesturing for you to sit beside him. “Now, what has you sighing with such intensity?”

“Are you sure you want me to be honest,” you asked, warily rubbing the back of your neck.

“Was I that bad,” Hanzo laughed, clearly meaning it as a joke, but you only shrugged. “Ussō! I was? Truly?” All confidence had been wiped from his voice.

“Not _bad_ ,” you said out of guilt, “but, you know, not . . . good?”

“What did I – How did – ” Hanzo slumped as a thoughtful, somewhat terrified look came over him.

“Look,” you said flatly, “I told you to work out some of your pent-up emotions, and you did. I probably shouldn’t be so bent out of shape for getting what I asked for. At least _you_ seem better now.”

The stare Hanzo was giving you was enough to make you fidget, his intensity more powerful than anyone you had ever met. “I was greedy,” he eventually said.

“Yes,” you all but whispered, feeling as if you suddenly _couldn’t_ lie to him while he eyed you like that.

“I paid your needs and your comfort no mind.”

“Yes.”

“And you needed release just as much as I did.”

“I mean, I probably didn’t have as shitty a day as you had, but, yeah,” you said, face reddened. “Not gonna lie, it’s been a while since I . . . you know. That and it seems like recently I’ve just been getting slapped in the face with one thing after another at work and with the other people in my life. I thought maybe being with you, like this, might help.”

“But it did not.”

“Not really,” you admitted.

Hanzo slid closer to your side and kissed your temple with such tenderness your every hair stood on end. “Let me make it up to you.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You don’t have to do that. You’re clearly tired and – ”

“Hush,” he said, lightly placing a hand on either side of your face, “I am not nearly tired enough to return the favor you have given me. Now lie back and let me take care of you.”

Biting your lip, you obeyed Hanzo’s impeccably sultry tone and allowed him to pull the blanket from your torso, giving him free reign over you. He caressed your legs with the most delicate touch and sucked at the underside of your jaw, making your breath hitch.

“How boorish of me to use only one part of such a stunning body and not pay homage to all your perfect curves, your incredible softness, and your astounding scents. If ever there was something worth worshiping, it is you,” he rumbled into your skin.

“You really know how to lay on the charm when you want to, don’t you,” you teased, raking your nails down his back as his meandering kisses wandered back up to your neck. The way he shook made your grin.

“Perhaps,” he hummed, dipping down and taking a nipple between his teeth, swirling his tongue around the bite soothingly before repeating the maneuver on the other side.

One of your hands reached down to rub your entrance, spreading the wetness to your clit as you began to ache for Hanzo again. “Please,” you begged him, “more. Now.”

“Anything you wish,” he chuckled, moving your fingers out of the way so he could slip three of his own inside you, pumping and spreading your walls as you gripped the fabric around you. Your hips moved in time with him as he prodded every inch of you, finding the spots that made you most delirious. His middle finger graced your most sensitive bundle of nerves, and you let out a shaky gasp.

“Th-there,” you groaned breathlessly, Hanzo’s low laugh resounding right into your bones. He flicked your bud with his thumb and put just the right amount of pressure on you innermost spot which sent you careening to the edge.

“Such beauty,” Hanzo mused, “ _my_ beauty.”

You called out his name as you spasmed in delight and rode out the waves of relief on his practiced hand, his slow movements helping you make the absolute most of this moment.

“Yes,” he smirked once you had evened your breathing, “I suppose you may call me ‘Hanzo’ now.”

“You’re an ass,” you barked with a laugh.

“And yet you keep coming back,” he smiled.

“I’m sure as hell not going anywhere now,” you giggled, dreamily tracing circles onto your tingling breasts.

“No you are not,” Hanzo said, looming over you, “I am not done with you yet.”

“What,” you blurted, head jumping up to frown at him.

But once again, his phone rang, both of you cursing the noise.

“Chikushou,” he muttered, “this is one call I should not ignore.”

“It’s alright,” you smiled up at him, “I’m feeling infinitely better now.”

A devilish glint lit his eye, and you tilted your brows in worry. “Um, what are you – ”

“You can be quiet, can you not,” he asked playfully.

“Quiet?”

He answered the phone, index finger pressed to his mouth. “Shhh. Yes, Mr. Morrison, good evening.”

Hanzo began to line himself up with your entrance again while you gave him a stunned look. “Are you nuts,” you whispered, to which he only nodded and winked.

“Trust me, beautiful,” he whispered back, the receiver of the phone moved away from his mouth.

As much as you were mortified by the idea of having another industry mogul hearing you fuck your sugar daddy, some section of your mind was undeniably turned on by the notion, too, so you pursed your lips and nodded. The joy on Hanzo’s features was incentive enough to convince you this was worth a shot.

Everything about this time with Hanzo was different from the first. His eyes were glued to you, meticulously responding to every sharp inhale, every stifled gulp, every twinge of your muscles while he somehow simultaneously kept his discussion going smoothly. His cock moved within you like nothing you had ever felt before, driving you up and down in a rhythm of constant arousal, slowing every time you had nearly reached your crest so he could build you right back up again. It seemed as if you had been at this for an hour now, if not more, and you were falling into an ecstasy the likes of which you’d never known.

“I – I’m spent Hanzo,” you huffed, tears running down your face and skin sticky with sweat, “please let me, let me – ”

He nodded at you, winding the coil inside you one last time as you struggled not to rasp too loudly. Again he thrust in and out of you, much more carefully this time, but still making you see stars while your nub was gently fondled, stimulated enough to make you buckle by now. Hanzo hooked his arm under you and shifted your ass further into the air, hitting a part of you that would have made you shriek in any other circumstance, but for now, you could only snatch the couch cushion by your head and used it muffle the wild moans that tumbled out of you. Hanzo couldn’t bite back his chuckle.

“Yes, Mr. Morrison, I was laughing at you, because your offer is, in fact, laughable. Besides, you have interrupted my evening quite enough, so unless you have something more worthwhile to say, I believe it is best that you leave me be until you have something I and the rest of the reformed Overwatch desires. Good night.”

Hanzo hung up and set the phone down with a relieved hum. “Finally.”

“I don’t know if I should beat you over the head or thank you,” you puffed, still clutching the pillow to your chest.

“Would you rather we _not_ have toe-curling sex,” he asked mockingly.

“No,” you whined, “but making me keep quiet like that? For that long?! Holy shit I nearly broke down there.”

“Nonsense,” he smiled, “you did wonderfully! I don’t believe Morrison had any idea what was happening. It was I who nearly exposed us, but watching you wheeze into that pillow was simply too much.”

“Fuck you.”

“I intend to keep fucking you. Have you had a rather tame sex life before this,” Hanzo asked, leaning over to get a better look at you.

“I guess so,” you shrugged, sitting up beside him and trying to wrangle your hair. Hanzo’s was barely clinging to its bun, strands strewn about haphazardly. He was just as handsome as ever, slightly disheveled like this, maybe even more so.

“Then no one has ever tied you to a bed frame or blindfolded you while bound to a chair?”

“No,” you said, the image coming into your mind far from unpleasant.

“Had someone else in control of a wireless vibrator inside you?”

“No.”

“Is that so? Have you ever had someone bend you over in public?”

“No! Good lord, what have I gotten myself into,” you laughed.

“You have set yourself up for a series of fantastic first times,” he growled, pulling you onto his lap and ticking your chest with his goatee.

“Seems like you’re more excited than I am,” you giggled, shaping his ruffled sideburns for him.

“I am afraid the only thing I love more than a good fuck is watching a beautiful woman shudder under my touch in a new, promiscuous situation,” he hummed, suddenly whapping your ass and laughing as you squeaked.

“You’re a whole other beast when we’re alone, aren’t you,” you whispered teasingly into his ear. “I’m not entirely sure I’m up for you berating me like this. Will you always reward me afterward?”

“I promise,” he said kissing your neck.

“And next time you feel like plowing me like a jackhammer will you give me a warning so I can put an ice pack in the freezer,” you groaned, swaying your hips as the soreness set it.

Hanzo’s face grew grave, and he held your face in front of his own. “If I ever hurt you in a way you do not enjoy, you tell me that instant, understood?” You nodded furiously. “Good. We will discuss safe words and the like when we get there.”

“We, um, we’ll work up to the more hardcore stuff, right,” you asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” he chuckled.

“In that case,” you smirked, “I bet a place this nice, owned by a man as well-groomed as yourself has a hell of a shower.”

“Naturally,” he scoffed. “Multiple shower heads, steam enough to clean out every pore, programmable lighting and music – I spared no expense.”

You leaned into him, your lips intermingling with his, your tongue winding around his as he held you tight. “Why don’t you show me how that fancy shower works,” you hinted, “and we can start checking a few ‘first times’ of the list?”

“Happily,” he growled, mimicking your excitement as you dragged him to his feet and headed down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Forgive the delay! The holiday and my work schedule got in the way. Your comments and kudos put a smile on my face every day and I am constantly thankful for each and every one of you readers. I am overwhelmed by your kindness.


	4. Cheeky Payback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your day starts with a little light-hearted torturing of Hanzo, but by the end of your lunch break, you can feel that a downward spiral might be coming your way. NSFW.

You were sitting at your desk, anxiously checking the time for the hundredth time. Only a few more minutes, then you’d send it. With a small, embarrassed laugh you tried to go back to finishing the task before you, but it was still proving difficult. You were too giddy, too excited, and, to be honest, too worried that if you didn’t send the video soon, you were going to chicken out.

“What the fuck am I thinking,” you whispered to yourself, rubbing your face, stilling grinning wildly.

Payback – that’s what you were plotting in your devious, horny mind. After that first fantastic night with Hanzo, he had been whisked off to somewhere in Europe to ‘deal with an unruly matter,’ which meant the two of you hadn’t seen each other since. He was sweet and checked in on you, but hadn’t done anything risqué, even if you would have been fine with it.

Then, after the two of you had agreed to meet for a quick lunch today, Hanzo had been forced to cancel due to a company meeting, apologizing profusely while he simultaneously bitching about the crowdedness of the airport lounge he was in. You could hear how pent up and frustrated he was, a far cry from his usual composure, and a cruel little idea popped into your head.

For the better part of a week, you had been trying to find _some_ way to get back at Hanzo for making you stay silent while he fucked you and chatted on the phone, and now, you had a chance. He was already a bit perturbed and letdown, just as you had been that night, so you cooed him back into a better mood, as he had done for you, promising to make the wait worthwhile once he got back.

And now that it was _finally_ 10:40 on Friday morning, it was time to strike. You left your desk and dipped into the nearby bathroom, biting your lip to keep from giggling like a mad woman. With quick fingers, you unlocked your phone and navigated to the video you had made last night: twenty minutes of you masturbating loudly with one of Hanzo’s ties rubbing against your body as you mewled his name.

“Here’s hoping he’s smart enough to have his phone on silent during a meeting but busy enough to keep it on hand in case something comes up,” you said tapping on his contact.

‘Hope you won’t mind that I borrowed one of your neckties while you were gone – and don’t worry I’ll have it dry-cleaned for you,’ you typed out before hitting send.

It took a minute, but Hanzo responded. ‘Why on Earth did you need one of my ties? Not that I mind.’

The little ‘sent’ whooshing noise rang out, and it was done. Video sent. No more explanation, no warning to make sure his cell was muted, nothing. Just you snorting in the stall, cheeks tinged with red, much as they were in the still image of the movie you had sent Hanzo. You were rather pleased that he would see a tantilizing picture of you with your mouth agape, one hand on your naked breast and the other between your legs before he even pressed play.

“Only ten minutes into your meeting and now you have _that_ waiting for you,” you snarked, “who has to be patient and stay quiet now?”

In a moment of determination, you turned your phone completely off to resist the temptation to check your messages every two seconds and to make sure you kept your man properly teased. While it wasn’t easy to get back into the flow of your job, you managed and before long a few hours had passed. It was more the growling of your stomach and not the idea of Hanzo freaking out that made you stop toiling away.

“Oh fuck,” you hissed, snatching your cell and turning it back on impatiently, “why do I always get so wrapped up in reviewing client PR publications?”

Three missed messages. You were grinning again. And a little scared.

‘You little shit,’ the first one read, making you cough as you stifled a laugh.

The next was sent about fifteen minutes ago, probably after he’d been allowed to head back to his office and watch you in all your glory. ‘When is your lunch break? Can you take it a bit late?’

 Evidently, Hanzo was fresh out of patience because his last text, sent only seven minutes after the previous one was simply: ‘Answer me.’

You chortled quietly and shrugged coyly at your coworker across the way just as your cell buzzed again.

‘If you do not get back to me now, I will storm into your office and have you on your desk while the rest of the rabble watches.’

“Grief,” you said, rolling your eyes with a smirk.

‘No you won’t,’ you replied, ‘you’re too professional for that. Wouldn’t be good for your image.’

‘When is your lunch break,’ he repeated.

‘Someone’s a one-track-mind today. Got you good, didn’t I?’

‘WHEN?’

You had never seen him get all capitalization-y before. It was hilarious. ‘I worked through my regular break, so I can take one any time. Luckily for you. I was thinking about making you wait until after five. Or maybe six. I should finish a few things . . . ‘

‘I will be outside in twenty minutes. With my tie off.’

Sure enough, as you strolled outside five minutes late – because who knew when you would have the chance to have Hanzo clawing for you like this again – his chauffeur was waiting for you, hand on the door to the back seat.

“Good afternoon,” you said as she nodded to you.

“You’ve got him in a mood,” she replied, failing to hide an amused smile.

“Yeah? Has it been fun to watch?”

“Absolutely,” she chuckled, opening the door your you.

“About time,” Hanzo grumped as you slid in beside him.

“You’re so cute when you’re pouty,” you teased, smacking his arm.

“Take us on a tour, Lilith,” he said to his driver as she got behind the wheel, “anywhere you like, and please close the partition.”

“Yes, sir,” she said as the divider gave you and Hanzo some privacy. The moment it was up he was kissing you as you giggled into his lips.

“I’m guessing you liked my video then,” you said, pulling away from him, but his attention only gravitated to your neck.

“It was divine,” he purred, “and terrible, all at once.”

Hanzo began to lower your back onto the seat, not wanting to waste any time, his body pressed against yours. “I’m glad you’re back,” you sighed, letting him strip you down.

“As am I,” he hummed, kissing your stomach before looking up with his always ferocious eyes. You stroked his beard gingerly, and he melted into your touch.

He’d missed you, but he would never say so, you knew that.

But you didn’t mind, at least not right now.

You shivered as Hanzo continued grazing his gloved hands all over your torso before pulling you up to slip off your bra and situate himself above you. The sight of him unbuttoning his shirt and revealing his tattooed skin was enough to make you needy. You wriggled back and slipped off your pants and thong as Hanzo exposed himself as well. He sat on his knees and pulled your legs around his waist, your ass lifted into the air, lower back resting on his knees.

“Now then,” he said lowly, “my turn to make you squirm.” Hanzo pulled his tie off the back seat and dangled it above you.

“I’m all yours,” you grinned, reaching down to caress his thighs.

“And you had best not forget that,” he growled, letting the silken fabric dance across your bare chest. A breathy gasp left your lips as the perfectly light sensations circled your nipples and made every bit of your tingle. Hanzo’s cock began to flirt with your entrance and folds.

“You’re too fucking good at getting me all riled up,” you whined after a few minutes of worming beneath his touch, the tie now toying with your sensitive neck as his other hand drifted along your upper leg, inching closer to your clit.

“Well, now that I know what kind of woman you are, it is not hard to give you what you crave.”

“What kind of woman am I,” you asked, playing into his game. You were pretty sure you knew what he was after too: exerting his control, an immense amount of edging until you were both nearing the end, and some light affection once he let the two of you mercifully finish.

“You need a gentle touch, but not because you are fragile. I know how resilient you are, how strong you are, body and soul,” he said slowly, fingering your bud very carefully. “But strength is meant to be reserved for times of need, you understand that, so you relish the small things – the touches that are barely there, the calculated pressure on just the right points, the small bursts of intensity that remind you how powerful your feelings can get. You are a woman who is to be cared for, not because you _need_ caring for, but because you _deserve_ caring for. You are a delight to be treasured, my beauty, and I intend to treat you as the polished jewel you are.”

With this he slid into you, reading your rushed breathing and desperate grabbing at the seat as permission to enter, which it was.  It was true. He saw right through you and thankfully gave you just what you wanted. Your legs circled him and squeezed as he slowly plunged in and out of you, his speed varying in time with your whimpers. You almost cried out? He slowed. You moaned with an air of sadness? He sped up. No one had ever understood your needs like he did.

“Hanzo,” you shuddered as he moved his hips in a particularly wonderful way and his finger swept across you bud. His tie was now woven between his other hand and wrapped around his wrist so every time he stroked from your belly to your neck, he left a trail of cool silk behind him that made your back arch. “Please,” you gulped.

“I adore the way that word sounds when you say it,” he rumbled, a wide smile on his face as his pace increased again, bringing you to your peak one more time and crashing over the edge with you. He pulled out gingerly, crouching over you and nuzzling your neck as he laughed. You had been particularly vocal this time.

You ran your hand along his strong arm and hummed happily, smooching any flesh within reach. “I should have more lunch breaks like this.”

“That can probably be arranged. I doubt Lilith will mind.”

“Shit,” you said covering your face embarrassedly, “I totally forgot she was there! You think she heard us?”

“This model is rather soundproof, I made sure of that, but to be blunt I would not be surprised at all if she heard you, at least at the end there,” he chuckled.

“Well that’s not awkward at all,” you huffed.

“Do not fret,” Hanzo said softly, “this is not the first time she has been privy to my sex life, and I doubt it will be the – ”

Out of nowhere the car jolted violently, sending Hanzo tumbling onto the floor and you very nearly on top of him, but you caught yourself at the last second. You burst out laughing at Hanzo’s baffled look and naked body contorted in the small gap between the seats. He scowled at you.

“Was it not you who told me it is rude to laugh at someone else’s pain?”

“Sorry,” you shrugged, “but it’s hard not to enjoy seeing you at the mercy of your emotions and not all . . . statuesque.”

Hanzo pursed his lips and hit the button to speak to Lilith via the intercom.

“What the hell was that,” he spat.

“There was a dog, sir! It couldn’t be helped,” she explained.

“Be that as it may,” he grumbled, “please be a bit more gentle next time, if it can be helped. That was almost _quite_ dramatic.”

“I can imagine,” she said, snickering.

“Excuse me,” Hanzo said darkly.

“Nothing, sir, nothing,” she back-peddled, shutting off the intercom hurriedly.

You sat up and began to get dressed again, hoping no one at work would be able to smell the sweat on your skin or notice the mess your hair had become. Hanzo pulled on his pants and watched happily as you pulled down your shirt.

“What are you doing tonight,” he asked, pulling you close.

“Not much, dropping your tie off at the cleaners, probably.”

He snorted out a harsh laugh, “Is that so? Well, after you little errand, may I take you out to dinner?”

“Of course,” you said, leaning into him.

“We would not be alone.”

“Company party?”

“No,” he said, concern creeping into his tone, “it is my brother’s birthday. He wanted me to go out with him and some friends but . . .”

“But you don’t really want to?”

“Not particularly,” he admitted, “but the night might not be so long if you were there.”

“I’d be happy to tag along, if you’re sure we want me there,” you said hesitantly, “what with your family being there and all . . .”

Hanzo glanced out the window and moved away from you to grab his shirt. “You will be there for my ease of mind, not in a ‘meet the family’ sort of way. This is merely another part of your job, nothing more.”

As much as you had succeeded in reminding yourself that he was your employer, his detached tone still stung a bit, but you pushed past it.

“Free food is free food,” you joked, “so, of course, I’m there.”

“Good,” he said slipping into his jacket. “Will you be fine getting there on your own? I may be a bit late with work.”

“Sure,” you agreed, “just let me know when and where.”

“I will message you later,” he nodded.

That sounded like the end of that, and you tried once more to smooth your hair. “Will you drop me off at the café by my building so I can grab a quick bite before I’m back on the clock?”

“Of course,” Hanzo said, informing Lilith of the new destination. A strained silence fell.

“For the record,” you piped up, “I didn’t mean to insinuate that I was ‘meeting the family’ or anything. I just know that you have a complicated relationship with your brother and, honestly, I was kinda worried that I might mess something up. Is there anything you don’t want me to say? I mean, what do I even say I’m doing there, hanging out with my new best buddy Hanzo?” The bitter edge in your voice was unintentional, but not inaccurate.

“And I did not mean to be rude,” he responded heavily, pressing a small kiss to your shoulder. “You make a good point, and I apologize if I am asking too much of you. If you want to come, I would still like to see you there, but I will understand if you would rather not.”

You rolled your neck and sighed, “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, being with someone like this, getting closer but at the same time not.”

“It is strange the first time,” he murmured, “but it gets easier with practice, and you must admit, it certainly has not been _all_ bad.” Hanzo nipped your ear playfully.

“True enough,” you grunted, pushing his face away with a wink, “but can I get back to you about tonight? I’m just not sure if I’m up for it.”

“Take all the time you need,” Hanzo said, giving you your space, “we can discuss what you should say if you decide to come.”

“Thanks,” you said as the car stopped again, “and sorry if I’m, I guess, overthinking things. Us.”

“No need,” he said firmly, “I think perhaps we both got in a little over our heads. I will not deny that you are affecting me more than I thought you would.”

“Oh good,” you laughed, “it’s always nice to know you’re not the only one who sorta fucked something up.”

“Not at all,” he chuckled, “but how could I resist falling prey to such a lovely creature?”

Hanzo spanked you as you left the car, which somehow made you feel better, despite the embarrassment on your cheeks. It maybe wasn’t great for you to just cover your qualms about your relationship with sexual innuendos and groping, but to hell with it. You’d be a better adult some other day. Just not now.

You wanted to enjoy things a little longer. Stave off the inevitable crash from the high, and a part of you knew it was inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Your ongoing support is so very much appreciated! All your support warms my heart and in turn, I hope I can bring a little more joy into your lives.  
> \- By the way, thoughts, ideas, comments, and critiques are always welcome, so please let me know if you have any thoughts while reading.


	5. Another Failure to Add to His List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You attend Genji's birthday party, which ends up being a great time, but Hanzo manages to spiral and ruin more than just the festivities.

After a lot of deliberation, you had decided to go to this birthday party thing with Hanzo after all. You told yourself it was because this was a part of your job now, but there was a nagging need to win Hanzo’s approval deep inside you too.

Which pissed you off.

You were better than this, better than clamoring for a man’s approval. Much less a man you weren’t actually dating!

“I need to start Ladies’ Night with the gals up again, they could talk some sense into me,” you sighed, flipping through the texts on your phone. You and Hanzo had agreed to tell everyone that you were just friends – he would keep his hands off you, and you would not reveal anything out of the ordinary about him. He invited you to help you meet a few new business contacts.

Because this was about work.

Not personal relationships.

“Fuck me,” you hissed, taking a deep breath and steeling yourself. “I’ll do this with Hanzo tonight, but then we cool it for a while. Take a breather. Set some more clear boundaries.”

Hopefully.

Much to your surprise, the address Hanzo had given you was oddly . . . local. Meaning not high-end. Just, normal. Well, not entirely normal, but not the kind of place that shunned you for not adhering to an expensive dress code. You were thankful you had an old favorite jacket in the bottom of your bag to dress down your outfit a little. As you approached the door, surrounded by neon lights on either side, you relaxed just a little. At least this time you might not feel quite so out of place.

“No way,” you laughed as you entered the revamped arcade, “this is awesome!”

“Hey there,” a girl pierced seven ways to Sunday said with a grin, “welcome to The Ninth Dungeon. First time here?”

“Yeah,” you said with a wide smile, “here for a birthday party, I guess.”

“That’s what I thought,” she laughed, “we usually don’t get such fancy get-ups in here.”

“I didn’t know what I was getting into,” you shrugged. “At least I got some flats in my purse so I can still whoop some ass at DDR.”

“Nice,” she cackled approvingly, “and don’t worry, you’re not the only one who overdressed. Your party reserved the whole place for the night, so play and eat and drink all you like. Must be nice to have friends like that.”

“Friend of a friend,” you said, “and yeah, I guess it is pretty nice.” A few people in scrubs walked past you, and you gave the employee a slightly confused look.

“The birthday boy is a real cool dude,” she explained. “He opened the place up to the local prosthetics rehabilitation center, too. It’s been awesome to see all these folks testing out their new limbs and having a good time, the boss is thinking about making it a monthly thing.”

“Wow,” you murmured, “sounds like Genji is nothing like his brother.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing! Thanks for the info though,” you flushed.

“No problem,” she said, opening the door to a fancy party room, “let me know if you or the others need anything.”

“Will do,” you beamed, admiring the old video game cases framed on the wall. “Ah shit, Hanzo’s going to find out about my inner nerd.”

“Hello there,” came a thoroughly pleasant voice from behind you.”

You swiveled around and tried your absolute best not to go wide-eyed at the scarred face in front of you. “Hi,” you said with a red face, “are you, by chance, the guy we’re here to celebrate?”

“I am,” he chuckled, his smile practically radiant even with the metallic lower jaw, “how did you guess?”

“Well, you’re the only one in this room who looks like he knew he was coming to an arcade, not a photo shoot for ‘Business Weekly’ magazine,” you giggled.

Genji burst out laughing, “I thought it would be fun to see all my kinda stuffy colleagues walk into this place in their tweed suits.”

“You’re fantastic,” you snorted.

“And I do not believe I know you,” he said, “are you here with someone?”

“Um, yes,” you said a little awkwardly, “Hanzo invited me. I hope that’s alright.”

His eyes lit up at his brother’s name. “How wonderful,” he cheered loudly, making a few others look at you, “are you the lovely new sugar baby on his arm?”

Fuck.

“Well, I, uh . . . ” you fumbled, face a big cherry tomato. Someone in a cowboy hat snickered from a nearby table.

“Oh,” Genji said, much more quietly, “were you not going to tell anyone that?”

“You brother thought it best we didn’t tell anyone,” you admitted, “but oh well?”

“Sorry,” he said with a cute pout, “I did not mean to bust anyone! I am just so glad to see him happy and can hardly contain my excitement.”

The sweetness rolling off Genji filled the air and you waved your hand dismissively, “No worries. I wasn’t really looking forward to lying all night anyway. Hanzo might be a little angry though.”

“I am sure I have seen him angrier,” Genji chuckled, “nonetheless, I apologize. Please, enjoy yourself tonight and know that I am delighted to have you here.” He leaned in a bit closer and whispered, “Especially if it means Hanzo does not grump in the corner all night.”

“Maybe between the two of us. Maybe,” you whispered back slyly.

Genji left you to wander back to the others as you went to the bar for a much-needed drink from the tender with a magically quaffed mustache.

“What’s your poison,” he asked in a gruff voice.

“Mint julep, if I may,” you replied.

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded, and you quickly pulled out your phone.

‘So your brother busted us,’ you texted Hanzo.

‘What do you mean,’ he sent back with lightning speed.

‘He told everyone about the sugar daddy thing.’

‘Why would he do that?’ It felt like he was pissed.

‘I guess he technically just asked really loud if I was your sugar baby.’

‘Then you told him no, correct? Explained the story I gave you?’

Oh great, now he was going to be all pissed _at you_. ‘No, I told him the truth. I’m sorry. I just panicked when all those eyes hit me.’

There was a long pause, long enough to make you fret and gulp down part of your drink. ‘You should have told him what we agreed upon.

You sighed aggravatedly and slumped, sending him an angry, ‘Well excuse me for not wanting to lie to the super nice birthday boy who used his party to throw a charity event.’ With that, you dropped your phone in your bag and grumbled under your breath.

“Hey there darlin,’” someone drawled as they leaned next to you on the bar, “pretty thing like you shouldn’t be lookin’ so down at a shindig like this.”

With a raised brow you twisted to see a man all dolled up in western style, bolo tie and all. It would have been amusing if he weren’t so handsome. And charming. Like Hanzo used to be. “Hey now, I’m a woman, not a thing,” you retorted with a smirk.

He laughed and took off his hat to ruffle his brunette hair. “Of course, ma’am, my apologies. ‘Suppose I should have known Hanzo’s girl would have bit o’ bite to her.”

“Just a bark,” you assured him, “I’m not dangerous. Well, unless _really_ pressed.”

“Good to know,” he nodded. “Name’s Jesse McCree, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” you said shaking his hand, “and you’re right I should be having a good time. Any chance you’d want to do a round of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with me?”

The cowboy nearly spat out his whiskey in excitement. “Holy fucking shit yes!”

Within half an hour you had the majority of Overwatch’s head members loving life – drinks were flowing, there was a shit ton of nachos, and everyone, even the prim Dr. Ziegler, had found a game they liked. Hanzo finally showed up a little while after.

“Aayyy,” boomed the entire room jubilantly as he entered, making him jump and go stiff.

“Brother,” Genji said pulling an uncomfortable Hanzo into the room, “there you are! I was beginning to wonder if you were not going to show.”

“I was caught up in some last minute work,” he said, looking around at all the commotion. This was not Hanzo’s forte.

“Oh please,” the man who had introduced himself as Gabe said, “everyone knew this party was tonight and everyone would have understood if you had to play catch up next week.”

“I prefer to finish what I start,” Hanzo said firmly.

“Avoiding,” Reinhardt sang, gulping down another tankard as Torbjorn chuckled.

Hanzo pursed his lips, looking like he was about to turn on his heel and leave, but Genji stopped him.

“Come on, Hanzo,” he chuckled, “do not mind them. They underestimated the drinks here. We are all glad you are here, I promise.”

“But we’re all a little more glad your lady friend showed up,” Brigitte blurted as she lost a round of Street Fighter II to Zenyatta, “ _she_ knows how to have a good time.”

“I see,” Hanzo said, giving you a look. You only shrugged and smiled in response.

“Yeah,” McCree said, putting an arm around your shoulders, “how’d you get lucky enough to get a gal like her?”

An unfamiliar flash crossed Hanzo’s eyes as he glared at McCree and you wriggled out from the cowboy’s grasp. You went to Hanzo’s side and he put an arm around your waist, tugging you closer.

“Glad you’re here,” you said softly, “no one seems to care that we are . . . what we are. They’ve all been super welcoming.”

“I noticed,” he growled, nodding to the hat on your head.

“Oh,” you said quickly taking off McCree’s cowboy hat, “I won it off him after a couple games.”

“Do not forget who you work for,” Hanzo seethed, practically dragging you to the bar with him. This wasn’t like him, this possessiveness. That, and he already smelled a bit like liquor. Had he been . . . pre-gaming?

“Hanzo,” you said gently touching his arm, “relax. I know things aren’t going quite as you planned, but it’s all good.”

“It is not ‘all good.’ Why did you not tell them what we agreed upon,” he asked, his eyes dark under his powerful brows.

“I told you,” you said, annoyance sliding up your spine, “I just panicked when he asked me and everyone stared. I didn’t feel like it was right to lie to him, especially since he’s your brother.”

“I told you,” he snapped, “you are not here to meet him, you are here for me.”

You frowned right back at him. “Look, I can’t do anything more than explain and apologize. It already happened, and there’s nothing to be done now.”

Hanzo yanked you closer and your entire body tensed. “Watch. Your. Tone,” he scolded.

“I – Hanzo! Grief, what’s going on with you?!” You tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip, and you cringed. “You’re starting to hurt me.”

With a deep sigh, Hanzo let you go, almost tossing you away as your body closed in on itself, arms around your torso. “Go then,” he grumbled, “enjoy the others. Laugh. Drink. Joke. _Flirt._ Do whatever you want! It is not as if I care. When I need a good fucking, I will let you know.”

“Excuse me,” you gaped, anger replacing the hurt in an instant. “I wasn’t _flirting_ with anyone! And I am _not_ your whore! What the shit is up with you?”

Genji suddenly appeared beside you, pulling Hanzo back and giving you a tense smile, worry in his eyes.

“Brother,” he said soothingly, “let us take a step back.”

“This is not your affair, Genji.”

The younger Shimada whispered something to his big brother that made Hanzo’s face go pale.

“I – ” his voice hitched as he tried to speak, so Genji stepped in.

“Give us a moment, will you,” he asked, and you nodded, still rattled by the treatment Hanzo had given you.

The two men shared a quiet conversation at the bar, voices hushed and earnest. You were left awkwardly toying with your hands while pretending to examine the vodka selection.

“Oi, Little Miss Game-Master,” Lena suddenly called, darting to your side, “come do a round of ‘X-Men’ with Emily and I! Magneto keeps kicking our ass!”

You glanced behind you to see the Shimada brothers still murmuring to one another and let out a small sigh before looking back to the excitable young British woman. “Let’s take that stupid helmet wearing mutant down!”

The flow of the party returned as if nothing had happened, but a small part of you could still feel Hanzo’s eyes on your back, but he kept his distance, staying by the bar even after Genji came back to the festivities. It didn’t seem as if your man – no, your _sugar daddy_ – needed you at the moment, so you let him stew in the corner alone. After manhandling you like that, he ought to be the one coming to _you_ for forgiveness.

Not that you believed that would actually happen in a public setting like this, but you were still pissed and not about to let him ruin your good time.

Despite a few offers for Hanzo to join in, he politely declined and everyone soon gave up on getting him involved. At first, he kept his hand empty, but it wasn’t all that long until he had a glass to his lips. You noticed Genji glancing over at his brother with a worried look as Hanzo downed what looked to be an Old Fashioned.

“Should we be concerned,” you asked Genji, making him jolt in surprise.

“What? Oh! No, no. I am sure he is fine. He is a grown man, he knows his limits,” Genji replied with a forced smile.

“I’d hope so but – ” you began, but Genji cut you off with an obvious distraction.

“Hey! I heard you say that you used to be a DDR fan. Join me for a song or two, will you?”

“Well,” you said eyeing Hanzo’s out of place rigid figure, “if you think it’s a good idea.”

“I insist,” Genji laughed, “it has been ages since I met anyone willing to go toe to toe with me.”

“Is that so,” you giggled, “you think you’re pretty hot shit?”

“Please,” he said with a playful scoff, “I am not a prideful man anymore, but even I cannot deny that I have phenomenal footwork.”

“It’s been a long time,” you said walking with him to the console, “but I’ll try to give you a run for your money.”

And you did. It was quite the battle, lasting five rounds as you and Genji bopped wildly around the lit up squares beneath you, neck and neck the whole time. It was two songs to two and everyone, Overwatch agents and not, had gathered to cheer the two of you on as you stomped to a song with a ridiculously high tempo. Regardless of the challenge, you and Genji couldn’t stop laughing and squawking as you took turns screwing up. In the end, you managed to be victorious as Genji spun around and accidentally lost this footing, hopping around on his left leg and giving you a chance to pull ahead as the crowd exploded into a frenzy. As soon as the song was over, you made sure Genji was alright, but Zenyatta was already there to steady his pupil.

“That was the most fun I have had in ages,” Genji boomed, laughing so hard tears had formed in his eyes.

“Holy shit I feel like my feet are going to fall off,” you panted, steadying yourself and wiping your sweaty brow.

“My feet are metallic and I still think I am going to feel that in the morning,” he chuckled, putting a congratulatory hand on your shoulder. “I have never known a more admirable adversary!”

“Is it admirable to beat the birthday boy at his own game,” you asked jokingly as a ‘new high score’ screen came across the monitor and your initials replaced Genji’s.

“Ouch,” he feigned, putting a hand over heart and recoiling. “The indignity! The humility! The _shame!_ ”

“I’ll let you win next time,” you said smacking Genji’s arm and giving him a wink.

His head rolled back as he burst out laughing and roped his arm around your shoulders. “Hanzo,” he called out, “is there any chance you would marry this woman as my birthday present? She is wonderful!”

An expression of shock and then distaste came over Hanzo before he glowered and headed toward the back door.

“Shit,” Genji hissed, starting to follow after him.

“What an ass,” the somewhat drunk Mei grumbled, going bright red when she realized the others had heard her, most of them laughing. “Sorry!”

“No,” Genji huffed, “he is being an ass.”

You stopped him before he could go any further. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“I – are you sure you – that may not be the best idea,” Genji faltered.

“I don’t care,” you frowned, “he owes me an explanation.”

“And an apology,” Torbjorn grunted as you jogged out to the parking lot.

The air was cold, sending a rush of goosebumps along your skin as you looked around for Hanzo. “Where is that butt face,” you griped.

“I am surprised you came after me,” he spat from behind you, “considering how you have acted all night.”

“How _I’ve_ acted all night?! What about you,” you reeled. “You show up late, salty and half drunk, then proceed to pout at the bar the whole time instead of at least _pretending_ to have a good time!”

“And who are you to tell me how to behave?” Hanzo took a defensive step toward you and puffed out his chest like he wanted to fight. You couldn’t deny the twinge of fear in your gut, but you weren’t going to let yourself back down.

“Fine,” you said rolling your eyes,” act however you want – be a shitty guest if that’s what you want to do, but I _do_ get a say in how you treat me. The way you hauled me around in there? The way you tried to make me feel bad for talking to other guys? The way you spoke to me like I was nothing more than something to stick your dick in? The way you grabbed and shoved me? That is _not_ okay, and I will _not_ accept being treated like that.”

“I pay you, you do what I say, and you do not throw a hissy fit. That is how this works,” he growled, his hot, liquor-stained breath making your face scrunch.

“The fuck it is,” you barked. “When we started all this we agreed this was a mutual thing, not an abusive thing. What the hell happened to you? Where’s Mr. Suave and Calm tonight? What crawled up your ass?”

“Do not antagonize me,” he snarled, raising his right arm to his waist, making the glass in his hand glint in the streetlight. He could break it over your head in an instant, knocking you out cold. Although, a man like him, with his reputation, he probably knew just where to hit you to kill you. You took a few small steps back and looked away, partly out of fear, and partly out of embarrassment. As much as you wanted to be able to take him on, you knew he could crush you before you could think to block.

Why had you ever thought dating _him_ would be a good idea?

Because you had been pretending you had been dating him.

Dating requires opening up, being vulnerable, growing attached.

Hanzo wasn’t interested in any of those things.

You had just been fooling yourself.

He thought of this as goods and services, supply and demand.

And you couldn’t give him what he wanted without giving up what you were and what you believed in.

“Have you finally remembered your place,” Hanzo asked, sipping his drink and staring at you harshly.

“Fuck you,” you whispered, wiping your bleary eyes.

“What,” he fumed, cracking the tempered glass in his deadly grip.

“I quit,” you snapped, turning to storm back inside.

“You what,” he gaped, then let out a mocking laugh. “Uso yamete! You do not quit! You o not get to – ”

“No, _you_ don’t get to!” You stared Hanzo right in the eye and jabbed a finger into his chest. “You don’t get to act like anything that happened here tonight was my fault! You’re the one who’s being a brutish, unreasonable dick! _You_ got drunk, _you_ were unfriendly, and _you_ removed yourself from everyone else! I’m not the reason you need a massive amount of liquid courage just to hang out with people, and I’m not the reason you’ve got such a fucked you relationship with everyone you know. I know my worth as a person and a woman, and I know I don’t have to put up with being treated like shit, so I quit. I’m done. And for the record, I think instead of looking for a new sugar baby next, maybe you should get a fucking therapist because you’ve clearly got some seriously deep, rooted, ingrained masculinity and intimacy issues that you need to get past if you ever want to be happy.”

You ran to the back door, Hanzo right on your heels, grabbing your arm and trying to pull you close as you fought with the locked door. Fuck! You just wanted to go home and cry and hide.

“Wait, please,” Hanzo sputtered, “I did not mean to – ”

“Doesn’t matter what you meant to do, I still quit!” Much to your relief, someone opened the door for you and you scuttled inside. A quick arm blocked Hanzo from coming in after you.

“Now hang on a minute,” McCree hummed as you tried to hide your reddened face, “what’s goin’ on ‘ere?”

“I just need to go home,” you said, voice wavering.

McCree’s face darkened as he turned to Hanzo. “Did you hurt her?”

“No,” Hanzo growled, “now leave. This does not concern you.”

“Anyone lady trying to hide from her beau is my concern,” McCree replied, not moving an inch.

“Why must you constantly meddle in my life,” Hanzo said exasperatedly, “what have I done to you?”

“Nothin’ yet,” McCree said in a low voice, “but I was there for Genji after you mangled him, and I ain’t about to let you hurt anyone else on my watch. Now, why don’t you take a step back an’ leave the lady be?”

“I am not going anywhere, and I am most certainly not leaving her alone with the likes of you. She is _mine_ , not yours.”

“She don’t belong to anybody but herself, and you’re the untrustworthy one here, especially not while you’re three sheets to the wind.”

Hanzo grabbed McCree’s forearm and tried to move it, but Jesse just shoved Hanzo back, quick as a whip. The fury in Hanzo’s eyes made you shrink away.

“Stay. The Fuck. _Back_ ,” McCree seethed. “Go. Before you leave another person covered in scars and in ten different pieces.”

This seemed to resonate in Hanzo, his face drenched in shock and taking a step back as if struck. McCree took the moment of hesitation to slam the door closed. “You alright,” he asked gently once you were alone.

“I – um, yeah. I’m okay. I just want to go home. Could I maybe ask you to get my purse for me? I don’t really want to see anyone else right now,” you admitted sheepishly.

“Sure thing, darlin,’” he said with a small smile. McCree returned a moment later with your things as you were staring at the ceiling and trying to regain your composure.

“Thanks,” you said weakly, “anyone notice what you were doing?”

“Nah,” he chuckled, “I may not look it, but I can be pretty sneaky when I wanna be.”

“Even with a hat brim that wide,” you teased, his cute smile infecting you.

“It’s a skill I’ve honed over many years,” he shrugged. “Now, you need a ride home? I can call ya a cab.”

You tapped your phone a few times and shook your head. “Already got it covered, but thank you. I appreciate that.”

“I’d be happy to wait outside with you, if ya want,” he offered, “keep Hanzo away from you.” You could have sworn that a clever shimmer sparked in McCree’s eyes, but maybe that was just your pissed off feelings about men at the moment talking. Either way, you wanted nothing more than to be alone and away from everyone right now.

“That’s very kind of you, McCree, but I’ll be fine. See you ‘round, maybe,” you groaned with a weak wave. You slipped outside and booked it toward the street, avoiding any chance of seeing Hanzo. It was a silent wait outside the arcade followed by a silent trip home and lastly a silent slog up the stairs and into your bed. Then it was all tears and angry screams to yourself for being weak.

You had dug this emotional grave and now came the arduous task of clawing yourself out of it.

God, you missed him already.

And you fucking hated yourself for it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- What a couple of weeks! I will try to get the next one out ASAP, as always, but know that your ongoing patience is very much appreciated. Thank you for all the wonderful support, too!  
> \- By the way, thoughts, ideas, comments, and critiques are always welcome, so please let me know if you have any thoughts while reading.


	6. A Brother's Plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji tries to convince you that Hanzo isn't a lost cause - and maybe he isn't - but does that mean you should get involved in his life again?

It had been the better part of a month since you had quit the sugar baby gig. The weekly hangouts with you best girls helped get your head on straight, but as the days dragged on, Hanzo came into your mind more and more. As much as you wanted to believe this was just another breakup, it stung more. You told yourself it was because you lost a side-gig, too, but it didn’t feel like another failed job. 

No. It felt like so much more. 

And that was driving you nuts more than anything else. How much this . . . ‘resignation’ was sticking to you. 

Usually, you felt best while at work, where there were a wealth of distractions to busy yourself with. Hanzo’s deep voice and dark eyes didn’t haunt you quite so much when you were evaluating client profiles. 

But maybe you were _too_ distracted. You hadn’t even seen Genji exit the elevator and head to your supervisor’s office. He, however, had seen you right away and was tiptoeing over to your desk now that his Overwatch business was done.

“Um, excuse me,” Genji’s small voice whispered to you, “could I bother you for a second or two?”

You jumped in your chair and went wide-eyed as you saw the younger Shimada’s worried face, then your stomach dropped. He couldn’t be here. No. No! You had put _so_ much effort into moving on – forgetting all about that night and the embarrassment that ensued. Every part of you was trying _not_ to think about Hanzo, and now his damn brother shows up to bombard you?! “G-Genji? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I know, I know! I probably should not have come over, but I – I had to. Please forgive me, but I knew if I did not at least _try_ to speak with you, I would regret it.”

He looked so forlorn and unsure of himself that you couldn’t possibly stay mad. You knew Genji was a good guy and definitely not here to cause you unnecessary pain. You took a deep breath and put on a smile. “It’s alright. Sorry if I got all . . . defensive. I guess I’m still in a mood since all of, well, you know,” you said awkwardly.

“No need to apologize,” Genji said with a small nod, “I probably would not have a smile on my face if my ex’s brother came wandering over to me with no warning.”

“He’s not my ex, just a guy I used to work for,” you said in a practiced way. While it may have sounded like you were correcting Genji, you had said it more for yourself.

Genji’s face fell into something very like a childish pout. It twisted your heartstrings, and you turned away from him. “You were much more than that to him, I assure you,” he murmured softly.

“No, I wasn’t. He made that very clear the night I quit and I’m trying very hard to remember that so I can move on. So I can stop feeling like shit.”

“Do you miss him?” His bluntness caught you off guard, making you flush.

“I – no! Yes. Sorta. But I shouldn’t! He was rude and an asshole and didn’t even apologize! Hanzo clearly has his own issues he needs to get through, and I am not responsible for them. He’s got to figure himself out on his own. I’m not going to be his punching bag, literal or figurative,” you said firmly. In all honesty, it was the fact that you missed Hanzo more than the breakup that made you feel disappointed in yourself.

“You are right,” Genji sighed, staring at the floor with sad puppy dog eyes. “Hanzo has a lot of work he needs to do, I know that all too well, and I know it will take him a long time to get to a place where he allows himself to be happy – much less to admit that someone else makes him happy. I also know how difficult he is and I do not blame you at all for quitting or keeping your distance. You need to take care of you. But, I also know you had quite the effect on him. That you meant a great deal to him.”

“Could’a fooled me,” you grumbled.

“I can prove it,” Genji said more earnestly, clearing his throat in embarrassment as a few of your coworkers looked at him curiously. He came around to the other side of the desk so he could whisper intently at you. “Look, I love my brother, I really do, but if I am completely truthful, he is a mess. There is no denying that he is better than he was, that is true, but he still has so far to go. It is incredibly difficult work he has in front of him, and our parents put a plethora of psychological boundaries in his way, but I know he can get there if he just gets the help he needs. And, of course, if he gets his stubborn ass to actually _try_! I have tried to get him to go to a counselor for ages – years, in fact! But he has always shut me down in one way or another. Then you come along. When he was with you, I finally got him to open up to me a little to me, and I know he told you things he has never told another outsider. It was an incredible start that made me so hopeful. However, in true Hanzo fashion, the drink and the words of our father and the elders of the clan wormed into his mind, making him spiral. I am not saying he is not to blame, but I am saying there is more to him than what you saw that night, he just needs to let the more vulnerable parts of himself out. And he _is_ starting to! While that night was awful, it did have a silver lining. Hanzo has been going to a therapist every week since you left him and he flat out told me it was because _you_ said he needed to. He hates himself for hurting you, which is nothing new, he has always had that deep self-loathing, but for once he is actually _doing_ something about it. Because of you.”

You rubbed your face warily as you let Genji’s words rattle around in your conflicted mind. You didn’t want to be feeling . . . whatever was going on in your brain. You wanted to be mad at Hanzo, to have that inner monolog of ‘fuck him, I don’t care anymore’ like you had with your last, real boyfriend. But you didn’t. You were glad to know Hanzo was getting help, and you had a big old lump of compassion in your chest for him now that you knew he was fighting with some childhood trauma. It was much easier when you could just pretend he was an asshole, through and through. Why did you like him so much? Why did you keep thinking about him? Why did you want him back?

“Genji,” you said after a long moment, “I get what you’re saying – I really do – but I can’t just go back to him and pretend like things are all good again. I just can’t. What he said and did to me isn’t okay, and I won’t act like it is just to assuage his guilt. He has problems, and I’m not going to help him feel better about anything at the expense of myself.”

“And I would never ask you to,” Genji said, looking mortified. “Greif, I am very sorry if you thought that was what I was suggesting you do. I am not, and would, not ask you to take him back. Not ever. That is your decision and yours alone. All I was hoping for was perhaps a chance to convince you not to hate him.  There are so many people in this world who are scared or disapprove or are disgusted with my brother, and he knows that. I was thinking if I could just tell him that there is someone else out there that wishes him well, someone else that believes he could be better, then maybe it would help him. Give him some reassurance.” Genji let out a strained breath and looked out the window. “But to be honest, I do not know how exactly to help him or what he needs. It is incredibly frustrating, to not know how to support someone you love.”

“I understand that,” you said quietly. “I haven’t always been the type to be strong and stand up for myself. The only reason I love myself and value myself the way I do is because I had help. Friends and family and a few therapists who helped me when I was younger. I used to tear myself apart with that inner voice a lot, too, and I can remember my loved ones always trying to help me get out of that pattern, but not exactly knowing how. Then, a few years after I was feeling pretty good, I met a girl who was in that same nasty place I was in, and all I wanted to do was help her out because I knew how awful she felt. You can say all the kind things in the world to someone, but getting them to believe it is something else entirely.”

“Good god,” Genji said with a small smile, “I am going to beat my brother over the head for driving someone as good as you away.”

You snorted and laughed. “Yeah, what a dumbass!”

“Maybe this is pushing my luck or overstepping in some way,” Genji said tentatively, “but I know Hanzo has thought about reaching out to you about a hundred times to tell you how sorry he is . . .”

“Yeah, yeah,” you huffed. “I saw he left a voicemail the day after everything went down, but my gal pals made me delete it and block his number.”

“Oh,” Genji said as his brows darted up.

“They were pretty pissed at him for the way he acted and Nicole in particular was _not_ having it,” you chuckled. “My friends can get very riled up on my account, but they mean well.”

“I am sure they do,” he smiled, “I have always found it good to have fierce friends around in your time of need. You should have seen McCree when I told him I had spoken with Hanzo again after he came out of hiding. That cowboy just about whooped my ass.”

“Oh I can believe it,” you snickered.

“Nonetheless, I am still glad I reconnected with my brother and if you could find it in your heart to let Hanzo apologize, it might help you both move on. He feels terrible and knows it is not appropriate to ask you to take him back. He will not pressure you into anything of the sort, I promise, he just wants to do what he can to make things right.”

An uncomfortable groan bubbled from your throat as you considered Genji’s request. Hanzo had been a dick, but it wasn’t as if you wanted him to be a dick forever. Maybe if you let him say what he wanted to say, he could start a trend of being more open or something. More than that, a little closure might do you some good, too.

“Alright, I’ll talk to him,” you relented, making Genji’s face light up, “but he’s still in a shit ton of trouble and I’m not letting him off the hook. Chances are he’s not going to like everything I’m going to say to him, but I promise not to be unreasonable. Or at least I’ll try not to be.”

“Thank you,” Genji said, sounding as if a weight had been lifted from his synthetic, “I know that will mean the world to him.”

“Well, I’ll have to tell him how lucky he is to have a brother like you. This wouldn’t have happened otherwise.”

“Trust me, he knows, the stubborn brat,” Genji teased lightly, “and he now knows just how lucky he was to have met you, too.”

“I think you better go, Genji,” you said rubbing your neck, “you’re starting to sound like you’re trying to sway me into going back to him and I’m _not_ doing that.”

“Okay, okay,” he said taking a step back, “you are right, my bias is starting to get in the way. I am grateful you gave me a chance to talk with you, and I will take my leave now, but I have to say, I hope I get to see you again someday, whether it be on my brother’s arm or not.”

He had such a sweet, slightly cheeky smile on you couldn’t help but giggle. “Goodbye, Genji.” You turned back to your computer while shaking your head. “The girls are going to kill me for agreeing to this.”

After a long, rather dramatic talk with your three besties, you convinced them that talking with Hanzo was not ‘the dumbest fucking thing you could possibly do.’ They had all agreed to be there at the coffee shop where you were meeting him to provide emotional support and backup should something go wrong. So here the four of you were, watching the door with varying degrees of distaste and worry on your faces.

“This is a shitty, shitty idea,” Nicole spat, taking a long sip of her latte. “I don’t like this. We should just jump him and kick him in the teeth.”

“Not everything can be solved with a kick to a sensitive body part,” Jules chuckled as she stretched. She was always the relaxed one whereas Nicole was always spitting fire.

“All evidence to the contrary,” Nicole said with a frown.

“Um, how many jobs have you been fired from for having an angry outburst,” Maggie asked with a skeptical look. Mags was the voice of reason nine times out of ten, the exception being when there a big problem in her own life, then you took on the mantle of ‘wise one.’

“All those lost jobs were just pushing me toward my dream job,” Nicole shrugged.

“You just got lucky,” Maggie laughed, “besides, it’s not your call what we do. _You’re_ not the one who was in the relationship.”

“I still think it’s dumb,” Nicole grumbled.

“And I still think you need to chill,” Jules said, patting the seat beside her. “Sit. Decompress. Let our girl do what she needs to do to feel better. I trust her and you ought to, too.”

“Fine, fine,” the fiery woman grumped, “but if shit goes south I’m jumping in there and kicking ass.”

“You always do,” you said giving your friend a knowing look. “Let’s not have another Portland fiasco, alright?”

Everyone at the table groaned.

“He deserved it,” Nicole barked.

“You put him in the hospital,” Jules scoffed.

“And you almost went to jail,” Maggie added.

“And we were almost dragged along with you,” you sputtered.

“I stand by my decision,” Nicole shrugged.

“Hey,” Jules said, suddenly quiet, “that him?”

You turned around and saw Hanzo brushing the rain off his suit jacket, dapper as ever, but with extra baggage under his eyes. “Yeah,” you nodded, “that’s him.”

“I totally get it now,” Jules moaned. “I’m already horny.”

“Jules,” Maggie gasped, smacking her friend, “rude! And inappropriate!”

“Oh my god, you haven’t even had the baby yet and you’re already such a mom,” Jules teased, “but point taken. Look at him though! He’s sexy as _hell!_ Hon,” she said turning to you, “fess up, you tap that?”

“Yep,” you said, unable to stop smirking at your friend. She was absolutely the most sexually free woman you knew, and you loved her for it. Jules was always there to back you up as an independent woman and help you find a good one night stand, too.

“Was he good,” she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“Very.”

“Ugh! Jealous,” Jules pouted jokingly.

“You know what’s sexy,” Maggie asked facetiously, cupping her hands around her pregnant belly, “being treated right in a healthy relationship.”

“Amen,” Nicole said hive-fiving her.

Hanzo spotted you but did not approach, his posture practically screaming apprehension. You held up a finger to him, and he nodded, taking a seat by the window a few tables away. “You guys continue discussing my fucked up relationship, and I’ll go try not to make things worse, alright?”

“Just flip him off and let’s get out of here,” Nicole said loud enough that you were sure Hanzo had heard her.

“Nah, nah, nah,” Jules said, “you’re smart and tough and level-headed – go do your thing. We got your back, no matter if you slap him or get all mushy. We got you, boo. But also, like, don’t give in too easy. He was super shitty, but, ya know, people are complicated and shit.”

“Yeah,” Maggie said squeezing your arm, “if you do what feels right, stand tall and strong, you’ll be alright.”

“And we’ll be right here. Staring daggers,” Nicole said twisting to look Hanzo right in the eyes. She made the ‘I’m watching you’ hand gesture, and his head jerked back in surprise. You laughed.

“Thanks, gals, I really appreciate you being here.”

“Of course,” Mags said, “now go, this baby is taking a nap on my bladder, and I want to watch this whole thing go down before I end up having to pee. Again.”

You grinned and headed over to Hanzo, feeling confident knowing that your friends were only a few feet away to lend you their confidence. As you sat opposite him, a bit of nervousness crawled up your back, but you were able to wrestle it back down.

“Hey,” you said softly.

“Good morning,” he replied, “thank you for meeting me.”

“Sure,” you nodded, “but you should be thanking Genji. He’s the one who got me to come around.”

“I have thanked him,” Hanzo said stroking his greying sideburn, “and I will do so again when I see him next.”

There was a loud cough from your friends’ table that made both you and Hanzo look over. Nicole was giving him a death glare. “Holy shit that woman had absolutely no chill,” you groaned, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

“Friends of yours,” Hanzo asked, glancing back to you.

“Yes. They came to make me feel better going into this,” you explained.

“I am glad you have people by your side,” he said genuinely, “but should I be worried about the particularly sour looking one?”

“I mean,” you said with a small laugh and a shrug, “maybe a little? That woman knows how to throw shade better than anyone I’ve ever met.”

A thin smile crossed Hanzo’s lips as he turned back to you. “I am glad to see you smiling again, and I am so ashamed that I ever took the joy from your face.”

You sighed and sunk into your chair. Fuck he was handsome. And sweet. And cute when he was sad. “I’m not taking you back,” you said bluntly, reaffiriming your decision for the umpteenth time today. “I won’t and I can’t.”

“I understand,” Hanzo said lowly, his head dipping a bit, “and I would never expect you to. Being able to see you again was more than I had excepted to receive. I will not bother you again after this, I assure you. Please just allow me to express how sickened I am with myself for having treated you in such a way. You are a wonderful, incredible woman and I did not care for you as I should have. You were absolutely right in everything you said that night. I had no right to treat you as I did when all you did was show me kindness and patience. I do not deserve you, and I know you deserve much more than I could ever be. Know that I am truly sorry and know that that is a statement I do not take lightly. I know that I made a series of grave mistakes that night and you were hurt because of them. I will regret that for the rest of my life.”

“Oh Hanzo,” you sighed, stopping him before he said anything else, “you gotta take it down a notch.”

“I – I am not sure what you mean,” he said as his face reddened just a tinge. “I was only trying to be sincere.”

“I know, I know,” you assured him, “but let me butt in a second, will you?” He nodded, looking as if he were hanging on to your every word. “Hanzo, I’m going to be honest, what you did that night was really, really shitty, but it’s not like you need to stab a knife in your chest and twist it about it. Yeah, feel bad, apologize, realize you fucked up, but just feeling bad isn’t going to do anything. Telling me you wish you had never done it, and recognizing that you need to change things to make sure this never happens again, are two very different things. You can be better, Hanzo, I know it. I wasn’t with you all that long, but I saw you be very caring and very kind, not just drunk and mean. I think you just got a lot of harsh stuff rattling about in your brain you gotta shake out. So do it! I appreciate your apology and your realization that you did something wrong, but what would mean more to me is if you promised that you were going to work on yourself because of what happened between us. Make it so you never have to apologize to anyone else for having an outburst like this again.”

Hanzo blinked at you a few times before responding determinedly. “I will do my best, I promise you. What happened between us will not be in vain.”

“Good,” you said, straightening your back and leaning into the table, “I’m really glad to hear that. I’ll have to hold you to it.”

You took a drink of your coffee as Hanzo gave you a small frown. “Do you mean to say – ” He cut himself off and shook his head.

“What,” you asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, what were you going to say,” you pressed.

“It is just that you said you will hold me to that promise,” he said adjusting his already impeccable tie to avoid your gaze, “that made it sound as if this would not be the last time I would see you, but I am just reading too much into things, I imagine.”

“I – well,” you faltered, looking over to your friends for encouragement. Nicole was still looking at Hanzo as if he had just burped in her face while Jules and Maggie gave you simultaneous thumbs up, then laughed at how in sync they were. You couldn’t do half of what you do without good people to back you up. Nicole’s ferocity got you to take risks and find your inner badass. Jules’s calm helped you keep a level head and analyze every angle of a situation. Maggie’s big heart and endless empathy had shown you the importance of stepping into another person’s shoes. “No, Hanzo, this doesn’t have to be the last time we see each other.”

His whole face lit up with shock and hope in the most endearing way. “No? I – but – are you sure? I did not mean to pressure you into – ”

“I’m sure,” you chuckled, “and you didn’t pressure me. Just to be clear, I’m not going to be your sugar baby again, but I think we could keep in touch. Be friends, maybe. Eventually. I think having people back you up while you’re working on yourself is critical, so yeah, if you need someone to reach out to on a rough day and your brother is busy, I can be there. I’m not going to be your pillar of strength right now because I’m just not comfortable with that, but you need to chat, need some feminist book recommendations to help you get your head on right, sure. Maybe someday we can be more friendly, but for right now I’d like to just take it easy, see how things feel. But I still reserve the right to tell you ‘no, this isn’t good for me, I’m out.’”

“Of course,” Hanzo said with a bobbing nod, “that is more than I ever would have hoped for.”

“Okay, we can give it a shot then,” you said thoughtfully, “but I don’t want to be around you while you’re drinking, got it? That night was a lot and I’m still angry about it and I really think the booze was a big influence.”

“It was,” he agreed, “and I am very aware I have a problem with that now – binging in the face of social situations like you said. That is one of the things I am working on. One of the many things.” He sounded a bit dejected.

“I know it seems like there are a million things you have to mindful of at first, but it will get better, Hanzo, I promise. It did for me when I was at my lowest.”

“I can hardly imagine you being anything other the remarkable woman you are now,” he said with a fond smile. You scoffed.

“Trust me, fancy pants, I’m not perfect, and perfection isn’t something to strive for. That’s my first bit of wisdom for you – you’re not headed toward a destination of perfect mental health, but on a journey of getting better, bit by bit.”

He mulled this over a moment and folded his hands together in that way that meant he was thinking away. “I will keep that in mind.”

“Sounds good,” you said standing from your seat, “I should probably go now – stuff to do, errands to run, anxious friends waiting to be filled in. But I, uh, I guess I’ll see you around? Or we can text some time?”

“That would be lovely,” he said in that dewy voice that made you want to curl up in his arms. But not now. Maybe never again, but you couldn’t deny that there was a sliver of hope burning in your heart that someday you could be with him again. A more open, more stable, more ready version of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Sorry for how late in the day this is being posted. Night shift today. As always, thanks for your patience and encouragement! You guys are just the best.  
> \- By the way, thoughts, ideas, comments, and critiques are always welcome, so please let me know if you have any thoughts while reading.


	7. Unlikely Help

Saturdays were supposed to be relaxing – not a clusterfuck, but here you were, half tacking on another day to the workweek and half trying to get your best friend’s baby shower in order. And all the way losing your shit.

“What the hell do you mean Clarissa’s Cupcakes pulled out on us,” you fumed at your phone as you tried to dig through your desk for the to-do list that just kept growing and growing.

“Yeah,” Jules said slowly, “they canceled on us.”

“We paid upfront for that stupid reservation! What the hell happened?”

“They said someone else made them a better offer or something. The whole place is closed for the day for a private party, dude. We’re kinda boned,” Jules said, sounding pretty damn dejected for her, but at least that meant she was taking this seriously.

You heaved a long sigh and thought a moment. “Okay, okay. That’s okay. We’ll figure something else out. If all else fails, we can have the party at one of our places. Mags will be fine with that.”

“As long as it's not mine, I’m cool with that,” Jules agreed, going right back to optimistic fast enough to give you emotional whiplash.

“Why not yours,” you asked, “you’ve got that great dining and kitchen area. I’ll help you get it ready as soon as I’m done here.”

“About that,” she laughed, “I’m in the middle of a job, and my creative process is uh, messy, as you know. And this time the subject matter is sorta graphic. Like aliens with tentacles that have teeth graphic.”

Having one of your besties be an animatronic whiz and well-respected movie monster creator was great around Halloween. Right now, not so much.

“Well fuck. Nicole will never let that many people she doesn’t know in her place, so I guess my apartment it is,” you groaned.

“No offense babe, but your place is pretty small for that. I could try to clean my stuff up some, I guess, but the alien herself ain’t going nowhere right now.”

“No, no,” you sighed, “I got it. I’ll move some stuff around and rig up some more seating. Just hope I can get home in time.”

There was a pause on the other side of the line, and you knew what was coming next. A scolding. “You better not be where I think you are,” Jules said in her most grown-up tone.

“Um,” you hesitated.

“Good freakin’ gods woman! That job is bleeding you dry! You gotta stop letting them treat you like this.” She sounded more disappointed than angry, which stung plenty.

“I know, I know, but you know me, I work hard! It’s what I do. It’s important.”

“Lovebug,” Jules said gently, calling you by your childhood nickname to get her point across, “I know your mom and dad always told you that, but working yourself into a pit isn’t good either. Especially since that company doesn’t appreciate you and all you do. You could be doing so much better! You’ve got enough big-name clients that you should _absolutely_ have more than that cheap little cubicle. You work with fucking Lucio himself, girl! That’s big-time shit!”

“I – I know,” you fumbled, “but there aren’t any openings here for a better position. I’ve just got to wait it out.”

“You ought to ask for a raise,” Jules snorted.

“Yeah, probably,” you huffed, rubbing your temple. “I don’t know why I can stand up to Hanzo like I did but going up to my superiors here at work seems daunting – even though I know I deserve more.”

“Because your parents taught you to value your career more than relationships and you’re still internally trying to please them despite the fact that you know they’re unhealthy and unhappy,” Jules said frankly. “Childhood psychological shit, it’ll get you every time.”

“No kidding,” you laughed, taking a moment to close your eyes and remind yourself that you were so much more than just your job.

“I know you’re not going to just blow off work,” Jules said, “but don’t go crazy today, alright? We have a party to get to! And the world won’t end just because you left some stuff to be done on Monday.”

“That much I can do,” you agreed, “thanks, Jules.”

“No problem. I don’t have many wise moments, but when I do, I’m more than happy to share them.”

“Maybe you ought to share some weed with me next week to get rid of the nerves before I go ask my boss for a raise,” you suggested, only partially joking.

“Holy fuck yes! Yes! Babe, let’s do it! Nicole can give you one of her hardcore pep talks and Mags can make you feel all good and shit! Fuck yeah! This is happening. I’ve decided.”

“Oh dear god what have I started,” you giggled.

“This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

“Jules, love, I dig the excitement, but we have other things to focus on right now. If I get my place ready for the party can you get food?”

“Sure thing,” she said nonchalantly, “snacks are basically my specialty. I’ve got a caterer that owes me a favor, too.”

“Awesome, thanks, Jules. I’ll talk to you later. Keep me in the loop.”

“Yup. You just get done with stupid-ass work, alright?”

“I’ll try.”

You spent the next few hours toiling away at work, mostly alone at the office once again. Jules was right, you did have a problem. Thankfully, your phone buzzed, reminding you that time was in fact passing and you had other, much more enjoyable things to do.

‘Hey the caterer needs to get into your place soon to drop off goodies. You home?’

It was Jules. Who would be all over you for still being at work. “Fuck,” you hissed before typing a simple, ‘No.’

‘Da faq girl,” she replied.

‘I’m getting decorations and shit,’ you lied.

‘Oh. Cool. You do you. Just get home soon, k?’

‘Yep,’ you sent back, realizing you had dug yourself into a hole. Now you had to decorate, get home, _and_ make your place presentable in a much too small window of time. Frantically, you called Nicole to see if she could help, but no she was still at the vet with her pup. Maggie’s mother could open the door for the caterer, but then she’d freak out about how ‘dirty’ the place was and start stressing and cleaning everything – or, even worse, tattle to your parents about ‘the state of that place!’ There was Maggie’s mother-in-law, but she was something of an attention whore and a snob who would undoubtedly make up some dramatic story about having to go to some ‘tacky shop’ for ‘tacky décor’ and how she did ‘the absolute best she could under the circumstances.’

No.

You were not listening to _that_ on your day off.

Well, your day almost off.

As you scrolled through your contact list trying to find someone to help, a sudden text popped up. From Hanzo, no less.

“Huh,” you said frowning at his name. An image of him trying to pick out baby shower do-dads came to mind and made you cackle. “Oh hell no, I’m not asking him to do that, no matter how great the blackmail would be if I got pictures. Not that I could ever see the need to blackmail him.”

Since the morning at the coffee shop, you and Hanzo had done exactly as you had agreed upon. You were civil, spoke on occasion, and played nice. He was always respectful and appreciative of any time you gave him, but the tension was still there. At times, you would sill times get shudder including memories of that night he terrified you in that parking lot, but you were starting to see that part of him less and less with each conversation. Most of the time when he reached out to you, it was for a bit of advice or asking about something he’d read. He was a voracious reader now, it seemed, devouring anything he could get his hands on about overcoming mental obstacles. That seemed to be his new safe space – where he retreated when he was having a setback or had done something he deemed to be wrong.

He was being too hard on himself, you knew that, but there was only so much you could do while keeping an appropriate distance.

It was hard not to go to him and run your fingers through his hair, whispering soft reassurances.

The sadness that often coated his voice when you spoke on the phone made your stomach twist.

But this was his battle, and he would fight it in his own way. He had others to help him along the way, and he wasn’t your responsibility.

Hanzo was, however, always saying that he wanted to repay your kindness, so maybe you could ask him for a favor. Friend to friend.

You called him up before you could chicken out and waited rather impatiently for him to pick up.

“Hello,” he said, surprise and unease in his tone.

“Oh thank goodness,” you sighed. “Hey, Hanzo it’s me.”

“Yes, of course,” he said, “is something wrong?”

“What? No,” you replied in confusion. “Why would there be?”

“No reason,” he explained, “I was just not expecting a call. Usually, I am the one asking if I may bother you with a phone call.”

“Right,” you said laughing awkwardly, “well, the thing is, I sorta need some help.”

“What can I do,” he asked gravely. You could see his pensive face so clearly in your mind. It made you smile.

“Chill, Hanzo, I’m fine. It’s a little thing really, but I didn’t know who else to go to.”

“I am glad to hear you are alright and I am of course happy to help however I can,” he said softly. That damn voice of his was going to be the death of you.

“So, the gals and I are throwing Mags a baby shower,” you began.

“I see,” Hanzo said worriedly.

“Calm down,” you snorted, “you don’t have to come or anything, I just need someone to unlock the door for the people bringing food.”

“Ah, well, that I can most certainly do. Is there a spare key I should use nearby?”

“Yeah. It’s in a little magnetized box under the ridge of the big metal planter to the left of the door. If you can’t find it, give me a text.” You grabbed your purse and headed to the stairs.

“I will,” Hanzo said, evidently still taking this quite seriously, “but something has just occurred to me.”

“What’s that?”

“I have never been to your apartment,” he said, making you stop and frown.

“Well I’ll be damned, you haven’t. Whoops. I’ll text you the address in a sec, just leaving work.”

“My, my,” he said with a small chuckle, “your dedication is admirable.”

“That’s not what my friends say,” you grumbled.

“Why is that?”

“I _may_ have a slight problem with balance,” you admitted sheepishly, “but I’m working on it. I do have a tendency to throw myself into the office when I’m stressed about other things, though.”

“Did I cause that reaction this time,” he asked gently.

In all honesty, yes, you were still dealing with the repercussions of taking on too much work to distract yourself after you and Hanzo broke it off, but he wasn’t the only cause. “Nah, it’s more me. I need to stop this pattern I always get myself into. I’ve basically buried myself in paperwork this time.”

“I can relate,” Hanzo hummed out, sounding stressed. As usual. “Do try to take care of yourself, though, will you? I – I worry. I know you are capable and independent, but . . . nonetheless.”

You shut your eyes tightly at the twinge in your heart. He could be so sweet. Sometimes. “Just, um, let me know if you need anything else, okay? I gotta go get some stuff.”

Hanzo cleared his throat tensely. “You have my word.”

“Thanks, Hanzo. Bye.” You let out an abysmal groan as soon as you hung up. “Why does he have to make it so hard to _not_ like him?!”

Darting through the nearest party supply store like a tornado did wonders to take Hanzo off your mind – if there was anything in this world that absolutely did not remind you of that man, it was pink streamers and glitter – but seeing him standing next to your open doorway brought a wave of emotions you really didn’t have time to deal with.

You’d never seen him dress so . . . casually before. And . . .

Damn.

“Hey,” you called to him, cursing the way your voice broke. Christ, it was like you were back in high school, fawning over an upperclassman. At least this time he didn’t have swoopy hair. You had such terrible taste back then.

Well, maybe you still did, but that was a thought for another day.

“Hello,” he said with a smile. You looked him up and down as two people carried in a few trays. “Is something the matter,” he asked when he caught you staring.

“Nope,” you said with a grin, “I just didn’t know you owned anything other than freshly pressed suits.”

“Yes, well,” he said flushing, “you called me while I was in the middle of . . . something.”

“Son of a – ” you hissed, “I’m sorry! I didn’t even ask if you were busy, did I? I didn’t mean to – ”

Hanzo reached over and took a few of the bags hanging from your arms. “Think nothing of it. You did not interrupt anything important.”

You ushered him in and set the mess of shopping bags down. “Thanks again for letting these guys in,” you said gesturing to the people arranging miniature cakes all over your countertop, “but you didn’t have to stick around if you have other things to do. They’re good people, totally trustworthy.”

“I thought it best to stay close just in case. Not because I doubted their professionalism, but to see if you needed anything else. Based on the amount of food these people have brought in, you have quite the event going on here,” he said eyeing the pile of appetizers.

“Maggie has seven sisters-in-law,” you explained, trying not to grimace.

“Honto?! I cannott imagine,” Hanzo reeled.

You giggled, “Neither can I! I’ve always had such a small family, having ten in a household seems like hell to me.”

“Agreed,” Hanzo murmured, shaking his head.

“Anyway,” you said, smiling at him, “I should be fine. I’ve still got an hour to put up some decorations and tidy up a bit before the other girls get here to help me finish up. We got this.”

“Then I will leave you to it,” Hanzo said with a small bow before heading back to the hall.

“Wait,” you blurted, not really knowing why you’d said it. He turned back to you and waited.

Your face went hot as you rushed over to the kitchen and plucked a peach topped cake for him. “Here,” you said handing it to him, “for your trouble.”

“That is not necessary,” he said kindly, giving you an impossibly tender look, “I am simply glad I could help, and for a chance to see you.”

This was the first time you had seen each other face to face since that day at the coffee shop. He looked good, and not just because he always looked good. There was a sort of calm about him, as if maybe he wasn’t so bogged down by everything anymore. A proper therapist could do that.

You were happy for him. He deserved some progress, to not be alone and attacking himself all the time. You truly believed that.

And you also knew he had a sweet tooth as bad as yours.

“Take it,” you said, grabbing his hand and placing the little square napkin in his palm. “I know you want to.”

He grinned. “I can only say so to buttercream frosting so many times. Thank you, and enjoy your party. It sounds like you could use some fun.”

“I will. Take care, Hanzo.”

“I shall do my best,” he said with a nod, “and by the way, I like your home. It is, hmm, ‘warm’, I suppose is the word  am looking for. Or perhaps safe. I never quite understood how to navigate that line between ‘house’ and ‘home,’ but you certainly have.”

Something about that sentence made you pout involuntarily as your heart dropped.

“Not that I mean to be looking for sympathy,” Hanzo said quickly, “I meant it as a compliment! I should not have made that comment about me, I apologize.”

The blush he got. It was too much.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said wavering a little closer to him. “I’m flattered that you like my place. Here I thought it might not be fancy or cleaned up enough for you.”

He scoffed, “Please, my own maid thinks I am a bit too much of a ‘neat freak.’ I know not everyone has my uncanny need to have everything polished.”

“Yeah, I don’t polish anything,” you laughed, walking him to the elevator, “but I probably should be more on top of the dishes.”

Hanzo shrugged, “If I did not have someone tidying up for me, I would likely be the same way. Or I would just eat out more often, I am not sure which.”

You parted ways with a wave that left you feeling unsatisfied. It was as if your skin was itching for his touch.

“Fucking hell,” you moaned, “I gotta get over this guy.”

The party came and went, Hanzo’s piercing eyes lingering in your mind when you weren’t occupied. You had thought you were over this dumb puppy dog love stage weeks ago, but evidently not. Maybe it was seeing the way Maggie and her wife got along that made you feel like this. Or seeing a new family being started in front of you. Or maybe it was just loneliness. Once everyone had left the house you were on your own again, wishing you had someone to vent to about your boss emailing you about picking up another coworker’s slack.

“I always get like this when I’m tired,” you tried to assure yourself, “I’ll get over it. All I need is a shower and some proper sleep. And maybe for my boss to stop being a shitlord.”

Soon, you were settled on the couch hair up in a microfiber towel and your fluffiest robe around your shoulders. You felt better, yes, but you couldn’t help but think about snuggling up in Hanzo’s wide-collared hoodie from earlier today.

“Why are boy hoodies always the best,” you asked the universe, slightly perturbed at this unwarranted slight the fashion industry had given your gender.

Your ringtone went off, and you swiped your phone from the coffee table. Hanzo again.

Now the universe was _really_ being a dick.

‘I hope everything went well tonight,’ he had sent. ‘I forgot to mention that I set your key by the sink. One of the caterers saw where you had hidden it, so you may want to find another location just to be safe, but that may just be my paranoia at work.’

“Worrywart,” you snickered before sending back, ‘Yes I saw it. Thanks. Good idea. And yeah, we had a good time. A few hiccups, but I handled it.’

‘Hiccups? Is everything alright?’

‘There was a small soon-to-be-Grandma fight, and Bruce Wayne peed on one of my plants, but that’s all.’

It took him longer to respond than usual, but then a confused, ‘Bruce Wayne? The Batman alter ego,’ came through. You laughed and snuggled deeper into your cushions.

‘Nicole’s dog has a solemn looking face and very pointy little ears that make him look like Batman, hence the name. Gotta admit, I’m a little surprised you knew that name of the top of your head, or did you Google it,’ you teased.

‘Genji told me. He says hello,’ Hanzo admitted.

Half a second later Hanzo was calling you. “Um, yeah,” you said into the receiver.

“I told you she would pick up,” Genji said, sounding as if he were straining.

“And I asked you not to call her,” you barely heard Hanzo say. “It is late, and she has had a long day.”

“Well then maybe you should not have texted her,” Genji replied jokingly.

“That is different,” Hanzo griped. It was nice to hear them acting like normal brothers.

“What is going on,” you asked as a smile crossed your face.

“I stole Hanzo’s phone so I could talk to you,” Genji explained, “and now he is trying to get it back, but I am faster.”

There was a slew of angry Japanese that made Genji burst out laughing. “That sounds like a dangerous game you’re playing, Genji,” you giggled. “Was there a reason you called, or are you just torturing your big bro.”

“Meh, a little of column A, a little of column B,” he replied.

“Perhaps I should just call Mercy as retaliation,” you heard Hanzo say in a voice so devious you had to add a dramatic gasp to the conversation.

“WHAT,” Genji yelped, “and when did – how did you get my phone?!”

“I always took my stealth studies more seriously than you did, brother,” Hanzo chuckled.

“Damn it,” Genji said defeatedly, “okay, fine, I will give it back, but before I do, I wanted to invite your lovely friend here to a party I am having next week. Everyone at Overwatch adored you, and we would love to have you there if that would not be too awkward.”

“You want to invite me,” you clarified.

“But of course,” Genji all but sang. “It is just a casual little thing for a few friends I throw every year. Hanzo made it sound like you could use a night out, maybe one that involves less Grandmothers – no offense to your baby shower guests.”

“Just how much did Hanzo tell you,” you asked, feigning skepticism.

“I am nosy,” Genji said flatly.

“Indeed you are,” Hanzo barked.

“So will you come? I promise it will be a good time.” It sounded like the younger Shimada was almost begging you to join them.

“No funny business,” you asked apprehensively.

“Not at all.”

“And I won’t have to worry about people looking down their noses at me?”

“If anyone does I will show them the door,” Genji said.

“And you know I’m not coming as your brother’s date,” you said, a bit quieter.

“Yes, I know,” he replied, less excitement in his voice.

“Well . . . alright, I’ll come,” you agreed, not entirely sure this was a good idea considering how much you were already pining over Hanzo.

“That is fantastic news,” Genji said, “the others will be delighted to – Hey! Hanzo! I was not done with that!”

“Pardon the interruption,” Hanzo said, noises coming through the earpiece that sounded like he was holding his brother away with his other arm, “but you really do not have to come if you do not wish to. Do not let my brother pester you into joining us.”

“I don’t mind,” you said honestly, “it would be nice to see Lena and the others again.”

“There will be liquor,” Hanzo hinted, “not that I need to partake but – ”

“Why is liquor a problem,” Genji asked.

Hanzo sighed deeply. “She does not want to be around me when I drink after that night I hurt her.”

“That,” Genji started, then took a long pause. “Well, to be candid that is a very rational decision, and I approve of her looking out for herself.”

“As do I,” Hanzo agreed.

“I can still hardly believe you ruined such a good thing,” Genji lamented.

“Do not start with me tonight,” Hanzo groaned, “please? I assure you I cannot feel any worse than I already do. Just seeing her makes me – ”

“Ahem,” you said loudly, “I’m still here, you know.”

“Sorry,” the two brothers said simultaneously.

“Look, I don’t have to come to this shindig of yours if it’s going to complicate things. I’m fine,” you said with a shrug.

“No,” Hanzo said gingerly, “if you would like to come, that would be lovely. I do not need to drink that night.”

“I don’t mean to spoil your fun or anything,” you said awkwardly. You suddenly felt like a controlling girlfriend, only you weren’t his girlfriend. But you were just trying to look out for yourself . . .

“You are not ruining anything,” Hanzo said kindly, “just the opposite, in fact. Come, enjoy yourself, and I promise I will not drink. I believe it will likely be good for me to prove to myself that I can be out with some coworkers and not need a bevy of drinks to get through.”

While he didn’t sound entirely convinced in his ability to do so, you had to agree that it might be a good step for him to take. “Alright, I’ll still come. If you’re sure you don’t mind, that is.”

“Not at all,” Hanzo said, “I will let you know the details when Genji _finally_ decides on a theme.”

“Oh yeah,” Genji yelled, “it is a costume party, but you do not have to get too into it if you do not want to.”

“Good to know,” you laughed, “tell your goofy brother thanks for the invite, but I should start winding down for the night.”

“I will. Goodnight, my beau- ” He caught himself and coughed in embarrassment. “G-goodnight.”

He hung up before you could respond, making you wince. “Fu-uh-uh-uh-ck,” you wailed, smacking yourself in the forehead. “I really, really, _really_ wish I didn’t still want to be his god-damned beauty.” Tears began to sting your eyes, and you weren’t sure they had formed out of anger, or longing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Good grief! I don't know what happened, but I guess I didn't post this chapter here when I did so on Tumblr?! I'm so sorry I kept you waiting! I'll try to make it up to you somehow.  
> \- Your support is incredibly appreciated (especially when I goof up like this) and your feedback means the world to me.


	8. Admitting It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You head to Genji's party, enjoying every minute, until the end.

Once again you were working away through the entirety of your lunch break, typing and toiling like there was no tomorrow. Of course, there was a tomorrow. A Tuesday. Another work day. But here you were. Still working your ass off. Halfway through a bite of a burrito bowl, your phone buzzed a few times, Hanzo’s name flashing up on the screen. You wiped your fingers on your pants and grabbed your cell, happy for a momentary distraction.

‘My brother has finally decided on a theme for his annual party, surprising as it may be,’ Hanzo sent.

A link came in next to the website of some specialty clothing shop.

‘Make an appointment, say you are attending Genji’s party, and they will set you up with everything you need.’

‘Thanks,’ you sent back, clicking the link curiously. “The fuck,” you whispered at all the intricate silks and meticulous patterns.

As if in answer to your bewilderment, Hanzo sent, ‘Genji felt like doing something more traditional this year. Or perhaps he simply wanted to see Torbjorn forced into something other than undone coveralls. If you have any questions, let me know.’

So yes, you _were_ going to be fitted for a full-blown kimono by a very swanky looking Japanese clothing shop. Scrolling through the informational page on their site was enough to make your head spin. How many layers were there? And how many ways could you tie that sash bit at the back? Not to mention the price. You nearly went blue after inhaling a piece of chicken while looking at all those zeros.

Worries aside, the idea of being surrounded by another culture for a night seemed like a damn near perfect way to escape your life for a while, aside from taking a real vacation, of course. You thanked Hanzo for the info and called the shop for an appointment later in the week. ‘Please schedule consultations as early in advance as possible to allow time for fitting adjustments and any possible shipping requirements,’ the webpage said in big bold print.

“Consultations,” you mumbled, “like I’m redoing my bathroom. Although, I probably could for that price.”

It didn’t take long for the apprehension and uncertainty to fade into excitement. You had loved costume parties ever since you were a kid and always anxiously awaited Halloween so you could slip into someone else’s life for a few hours. This was no different. Except instead of silly finger food designed to look like actual fingers, you would be having much classier fare.

Dear god, you needed to stop Googling fancy Japanese party food. It all looked _way_ too good.

By the time your fitting came around, you were smiling wide, as was the immaculately dressed woman who greeted you.

“It is good to meet you,” she said leading you to a private room that seemed to have been set up just for you, “I will be assisting you today. You may call me Eimi.”

“A pleasure, Eimi,” you said, flushing a bit as you realized you didn’t really know the proper mannerisms to use in such a formal establishment. Thankfully, the moment you sat down on the bench and the door was closed, Eimi’s air changed, and she gave you a reassuring grin.

“Are you nervous? You look a little nervous,” she asked in a hushed voice.

You shrugged and nodded.

Eimi made a dismissive wave of her hands. “Don’t be! This’ll be fun, I promise. We’ll leave all the hoity-toity stuff out there and just pretend it’s a shopping day, okay?”

“Okay,” you laughed as she sat beside you on the seat.

“Genji – er – Shimada-sama asked me to handle all the partygoers’ outfits because I’m the least stuffy person here,” Eimi explained. “That, and, you know, the most equipped to handle guys like Mr. Reinhardt. He would have given my mother a heart attack with that booming voice of his!”

You snickered, “Yeah he has that effect on a lot of people. Well, I’m very glad to be working with you. I feel like I can admit that I am kinda overwhelmed and not be too ashamed of it.”

“Pfft! Don’t be ashamed at all. This is kind of a niche market, even in a city like this. Being overwhelmed is totally normal,” Eimi said warmly. Everything about her made you feel more relaxed, and you made a mental note to thank Genji for thinking things through the way he did.

“So where do we start,” you asked, looking around all the fabric and garments draped around you.

“First thing’s first,” Eimi said standing up, “I’ll have you slip on a nagajuban – which is a lot like a slip, if you wanna think about it in dress terms. If anything doesn’t feel quite right, let me know, and I’ll get you a different one. Everything you need should be behind the screen.”

“Can I ask you something,” you called out as you stripped down, “just something I’ve been wondering about this week.”

“Sure thing,” Eimi chirped back in her cheery tone.

“Did you have to outfit Winston?”

She laughed. “Yes, I did! That was . . . an experience. But not a bad one! He is just the nicest guy and every bit as awkward as I was, but we got it worked out. His kimono isn’t quite perfect, but it’ll be one of a kind and beautiful, that I can guarantee. My great-grandma is sewing up a storm for him.”

“Oof,” you chuckled, “poor lady.”

“Oh no she loves it,” Eimi explained. “She’s loving all of this party prep! ‘About time I had a proper challenge,’ she said with a giant smirk. Haven’t heard her cackle this much in years.”

“She sounds like a hell of a woman,” you said stepping out so Eimi could inspect you.

“Look at that,” she said triumphantly, “just the right length! Love it. Sleeves look a little long though, but no problem, Baba will take care of that.”

“Baba?”

“My grandmother,” Eimi clarified as she pulled out a few pins and tucked your sleeve up a bit.

You smiled. “I call my grandma ‘Gana-nana’ because she always fed me bananas as a little girl.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Eimi cooed. “Maybe we should tie your nagajuban with a yellow datejime just for her, huh?”

“She would love that,” you smiled.

An hour or so and at least three dozen pictures on your phone later, and you had settled on an outfit. Evidently, Genji had recommended a furisode style of kimono with orange detailing. Eimi looked a bit like she was trying to hide a secret when she steered you in the direction of that color scheme, but you played along. After all, she probably knew what was best.

Eimi lead you back to the front of the shop so she could chat with her family about the alterations that needed to be done, giving you a moment to eye all the displays. The entire little building was absolutely stunning – a myriad of beautiful textiles and accessories. One ream of fabric, in particular, caught your eye, one that you were quite sure you had seen in Hanzo’s closet when you snuck a peak. For about the hundredth time that week, you had to tame your daydreaming of what he would be wearing that night. The man always looks so well put together, but seeing him head to toe in something specially designed to be formal was going to be a treat – you knew it.

You also knew it would probably throw your heart, mind, and libido into war again, too.

“Okay,” Eimi said, taking you out of your fretting thoughts, “that should cover it. Everything you need will be sent to your home that night, and all you should have to do is slip it on. We take very special care to make getting dressed as easy as possible for our rentals, as they are often worn by people who are somewhat inexperienced in Japanese kimonos. That being said, if you need anything, let us know.” She leaned over the counter a bit to whisper at you. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. Technology made kimonos _so_ much easier. The magnets click together, you adjust the tightness, and you’re good to go! I showed you how the new-fangled obi works, right?”

“Yes you did,” you said with a smile, “and thank you so much for everything. You made this such a fun experience.

Eimi’s eyes lit up. “You bet! If you want to write a thank you note to the shop after the party I would really appreciate it. My mom is always harping on me, and a few good reviews would really help me out.”

“I one hundred percent get the demanding Mom thing, and I will write you the best review ever,” you assured her. “Now about the bill . . . “

“Shimada-sama has covered it,” she said plainly, typing away at her tablet.

“Seriously?”

“Yep,” she nodded, “he’s taking care of all the rental and labor costs for everyone, so just go have a good time! And send some pics, if you get the chance.” Eimi winked and waved as you walked out the door.

True to her word, your kimono was delivered the night of the party, and you managed to get dressed with minimal confusion, but you couldn’t help fussing with the folds right up until you were at Genji’s door. He had the penthouse apartment atop one of the most gorgeous buildings in the city, which didn’t really surprise you. Both the Shimada brothers had expensive taste. Not that you could blame them. There were definitely days you missed the extra income from being a sugar baby and the fancy things you could buy with that cash.

You knocked on the decorated door and tried to tuck back an unruly lock of hair yet again just before the door swung open.

“How lovely to see you again,” Zenyatta said graciously as he held the door for you.

“Likewise, Zenyatta. Don’t you look dapper in all that geometric yellow this evening,” you said shaking his hand.

“And you look lovely,” he said brightly. “Come, everyone else is milling about in the dining room until the first course is served.”

Zenyatta floated along in front of you, his orbs bobbing rhythmically to the music drifting through the massive apartment. Much like Hanzo’s place, Genji had set up his home like a museum, but of more main-stream valuables. His collection ranged from movie props, to video game collectibles, to photographs of Genji with all sorts of figures in all sorts of amazing locals. You wanted to stare and delight in all of it, but tried your best not to be impolite.

“Hey,” Genji called out as soon as you entered the crowded room, “the DDR queen has finally arrived!”

“Sorry,” you said as he approached, “got caught up in traffic. My neck of the woods gets bogged down more often than the streets around here.”

“No need to apologize,” Genji said, pulling you deeper into the room, “we are all just glad you are here. I think you know most everyone here. If not, rest assured that I did not invite anyone not worth having, so please introduce yourself. Oh! One thing though. Winston wanted to meet you.”

It would have been impossible not to notice the large figure sitting in the corner of the room with a giant, toothy grin – even if he weren’t covered in hair and vibrant red robes, but the only person who seemed to be bothered by Winston’s size was Winston. He moved very carefully and looked to be trying very hard not to cause a scene by knocking something over. Unlike Reinhardt, who had nearly knocked a sconce off the wall twice since you arrived.

“Hello there,” Winston said happily as you put your tiny hand in his, “lovely to meet you.”

“Same,” you said smiling up at him. “My grandpa is a huge admirer of your work and will be delighted to hear we had the chance to chat.”

“Is that so,” he asked, setting down his large glass, “is he a scientist as well?”

“Yes. He actually specializes more in teaching now, but he did quite a lot of work in astrophysics back in the day,” you replied.

This sent the two of you off on a whirlwind conversation on teaching and tech, Mei and a woman named Fareeha joining in soon. It was almost overly nice to be surrounded by people who dreamed of more than just meeting deadlines and pushing the bottom line. These were the sort of people you wanted to be working with, people who were doing more for the world than just raking in money.

Conversation flowed into one of the most exquisite meals you had ever had. You had no idea just how many courses were going to be involved in this kaiseki, but part of you hoped it would never end. Although, it would be nice to have a moment to talk to Hanzo, rather than just stealing glances from across the long table. It made you bite back a smile every time the two of you caught one another ogling.

“Just as I thought,” you murmured under your breath, “man looks too damn good to handle.”

Genji suddenly stood, and everyone looked to him. “How about a little break before dessert? Stretch the legs and mingle a bit.”

“Give me time to loosen up this damn belt,” Torbjorn grumbled as he fought with the satin around his gut. You snickered.

“You going to have room for dessert?”

The short man scoffed playfully, “I always have room for dessert and booze, kiddo. Always.”

As you stood, you noticed Hanzo and Gabriel talking in hushed voices and exchanging sly looks, which, of course, you had to investigate. The two men had been talking all night, somewhat removed from the rest of the conversations, save for the occasional ribbing or question. It was nice to see Hanzo had a comrade at work other than his brother. You bobbed and weaved through the rest of the party goers, politely declining their attempts to stop you saying, ‘you needed a little air.’

You hadn’t been lying to anyone when you said this, a bit of reprieve from all the noise and people around you felt very necessary after such a long dinner. Thankfully, when you found the boys, they were hidden away in a nearly silent room with a view of the city shining from open double doors. Both of them were letting out their low laughter at some inside joke while lighting up cigars.

“Mind if I join you,” you asked from the doorway.

“Oh thank goodness,” Gabe teased, “I thought Hanzo here might have to go a full five minutes without making eyes at you.”

Hanzo smacked him and waved you over. “Pay him no mind,” he said, “Gabe adores trying to make me squirm, but I believe he has the good sense to stop when he knows it may bother a lady.”

“Duly noted,” Gabe said, putting his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, mi senorita.”

“You’re alright,” you said joining them by the cool night air and sighing. Whatever they were smoking was a much different scent from anything you had eaten this evening, a more spicy blend. “Those traditional, too?”

“No,” Hanzo said blowing out a long drag, “Gabriel brought them back form his latest business trip and was kind enough to indulge me.”

“Would you like one,” Gabe asked, reaching behind his hakama.

“No thanks,” you said, “I’d rather not annoy the family we rented these kimonos from.”

“A good idea, that,” Hanzo chuckled, “Eimi’s mother is a very formidable woman. You had best brace yourself, Gabriel.”

“I didn’t rent,” Gabe replied proudly, “I bought it. Completely loved the look of it and knew I would never be able to bring myself to give it back.”

“I might have known. Mr. Reyes here is our resident fashion expert,” Hanzo explained with a clever gleam in his eye, “which is why I am so surprised he has gone through the whole night with his kimono wrapped the wrong way.”

You burst out laughing, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything!”

“Hey now,” Gabe said shaking his finger as if scolding you, “I did it this way for a reason! You wrap all these layers up right over left for the dead, right?”

“Yes,” Hanzo nodded.

“And I think most of the people here know after all that shit with Moira I’m more dead than alive most days,” Gabe grinned as he let the smoke from his cigar mingle with the shadowy fog that occasionally drifted off him.

Hanzo lolled his head back as he laughed heartily. “You crafty bastard! How appropriate.”

“Now, since we’re on the subject of outfits and they’re meanings,” Gabe said leadingly, “why don’t we go into yours, bella dama. Make the selection yourself?”

“Yes,” you said looking down at yourself to verify that you had done nothing wrong, “did I goof something up?”

“Not at all,” Hanzo said shaking his head, “you look immaculate.” The sweetness of his smile and the tenderness in his voice made you go red.

“That you do,” Gabe agreed genuinely, “I did not mean to insinuate otherwise. Hanzo here nearly fainted when he saw you, I shit you not.”

“No I did not,” Hanzo snapped defensively, making Gabe roar with laughter.

“Yes, you did! Your jaw dropped a little! And you just _stared!_ To be totally honest it was adorable. I know you two are split and all, but I can’t deny that it’s nice to see something make Hanzo all riled up.”

“Well, I’m flattered you both liked what I went with. Eimi was really steering me toward the orange even though I wasn’t – ” you began.

“A-ha,” Gabe said triumphantly, “I knew there must have been some sort of planning going on here!”

“What are you talking about,” you asked as Hanzo’s face went was splashed with color.

“Your brother _definitely_ planned this,” Gabe said to him.

“That boy will be the death of me,” Hanzo sighed as he sunk lower in his seat.

“Hey,” you said smacking him. “Explain. What did I, or Genji, or whoever do?”

Hanzo straightened and gestured to your robes. “Did young Eimi explain the meaning behind the symbolism in your kimono?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged, “I tried to ask, but she just kept plowing ahead. I figured it was just because she was busy with getting all of us set up.”

“She did it because Genji probably told her to,” Gabe snorted, utterly delighted.

“Oh god, what am I wearing,” you groaned, “what does orange mean?!”

“Happiness,” Hanzo said, clearly not giving you the whole story.

“And love. Lots and lots of love,” Gabe added.

Everything clicked in your mind, and you glared at the door. “That little shit! He said he wouldn’t do any of this kind of . . . thing.”

“Genji has changed much since we were children,” Hanzo grumped, “but he still cannot help but meddle in my love life.”

“But it gets better,” Gabe beamed, “you’re even wearing the – what are they called? The Mandarin ducks?”

“Yes,” Hanzo said rubbing his temple, “oshidori.”

“Frequently used for wedding gowns,” Gabe went on. “Genji basically got that dear little shop girl to dress you up like a bride for tonight! Fancy obi and all!”

You sat in silence a moment, trying to figure out how to react to the fact that someone had dolled you up to be an unwitting bride for the man beside you. “Will you be bothered if I smack Genji around a little bit,” you asked Hanzo.

“Not so long as I get to watch,” he chuckled.

“I can’t _believe_ he went and – ow,” you yelped as you flopped back against the sofa and hit your head on something sharp.

Hanzo turned his attention to you and put a gentle hand on your arm, giving you shivers. Gabe was by your side in a moment, too, asking if you were alright. You turned around to see some sort of sculpture covered in spikes behind you. “Who puts something like that right next to a couch?”

“My brother, purveyor of the odd art,” Hanzo muttered.

As you brought your hand back from the sore spot on your skull, you saw blood pooled on your fingertips. Hanzo hissed angrily and stood. “Come with me, we need to get you looked over.”

“You want me to grab Angela,” Gabe asked.

“No, no,” you said putting pressure on the area, “I’m sure it’s nothing too bad.”

Both men had a hand near your back in case you needed steadying as you stood, but your balance seemed to be just fine. “Sorry I got you all stirred up,” Gabe said awkwardly.

“Oh please,” you giggled, “it’s not your fault I went and bumped my head. I’m just glad someone told me I got pranked into dressing like a wedding cake topper.”

“Still,” he said with something like a pout, “let me know what the damage is, so I don’t worry.”

“For a dead guy, you sure got a good heart,” you said with a wink. “Tell ‘em to save me some dessert, will you?”

“Sure thing,” Gabe said with a firm nod.

Hanzo led you to a nearby bathroom and rifled around for some disinfectant. “Here we are,” he said quietly, pouring a bit onto a clean towel. “Would you like me to help, or shall I leave you be?”

“Um,” you hesitated, realizing how close the two of you were in the small room, and how much closer he would have to be to tend your bleeding skin. It was strange to be alone with him after all this time, but not necessarily bad, much to your dismay. “Will you at least take a peek and see how bad it is? It’s pretty hard to see the back of your own head.”

“Of course,” he said, warily taking a step closer to you as you turned around. Both of you were facing the mirror now, Hanzo gently trying to push your hair aside to see your scalp. The second he found the spot you winced.

“I am sorry,” he sputtered, “I will be more gentle.”

“It’s okay,” you said leaning back into him a tinge, “just sore, is all. Is there much blood?”

“No,” he said, very carefully blotting your injury, “you will not need stitches or the like, but I imagine that soreness will take a while to go away. It looks like you grazed the side of your head instead of stabbing deep, so that is good. Well, as good as can be hoped for.”

“At least there’s that,” you sighed. “Thanks for the help.”

“Of course. I suppose I will leave you now and let the others know you may be a moment. Take as long as you need to and rejoin us whenever you like,” Hanzo said, heading to the door.

“Hang on,” you said grabbing his arm. You wanted so badly to have him stay. To stay right next to you, if only for a few seconds longer. “Talk with me a minute. How have you been doing?”

Hanzo looked surprised for a moment, but didn’t object, leaning on the counter beside you. “I have been good for the most part, some days are better than others, but that is to be expected,” he said.

“Yes, it is,” you nodded, “but I hope you’re getting to the point where there’s more good than bad?”

“Generally yes,” he said with a small smile, “thanks in no small part to you.”

“You’ve done all the hard work,” you said bumping into his shoulder. “How has the whole not drinking thing been tonight? Am I getting to be a pain in the ass yet?”

“Not at all,” he said overly seriously. “Though, I must admit I very nearly broke just before I got dressed for the evening. Since I arrived, I have been fine, however. This night has gone much better than I had expected, considering the theme.” He adjusted his collar with a vaguely distasteful look.

“This wasn’t what I was expecting,” you said, “I would have figured Genji to do something more . . . flamboyant.”

“Every other year, he has,” Hanzo said softly, “but he said he was feeling homesick.”

“Didn’t have time to take a proper trip?”

“After what happened between us, Genji and I are no longer welcome in much of our native country. Our company was outed as corrupt, our family doubly so, and the Shimada name became synonymous with shame,” he murmured. “I do not think I will ever be able to let go of the fact that I am the reason my brother cannot go home.”

You put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently before you could over think the gesture. “You never know what will happen. I bet there was a time where you never thought you’d be close to Genji again or get back into the business world with a company like Overwatch. Crazy things happen all the time, you just got to work at them.”

Hanzo chuckled and placed his hand over yours. “Ever the wise one, you are.”

“Ever the too hard on yourself you are,” you retorted.

You missed moments like this.

So much it hurt.

You wanted him to keep on holding you. You wanted to keep encouraging him.

You wanted him.

“Hanzo,” you said shakily.

“What is it,” he said turning his attention back to you worriedly.

“I don’t know what to do about us,” you said as tears stung your eyes. As much as you didn’t want to fall apart, it felt like a tug of war had been playing out in your mind for too long and the string was now threadbare.

“What do you mean,” he asked, dipping his head to try to get a view of your downcast face.

“I miss you,” you admitted, “but I feel like I shouldn’t miss you. You did something really shitty to me, and I shouldn’t just push that aside – I know I shouldn’t – but _fucking hell_ do I want you back. I thought this feeling would go away after a while, but it hasn’t, and I’m just so confused, and – ”

With an angry snatch, you grabbed a few tissues and tried to wipe your eyes as Hanzo let out a long sigh. “I wish I had a definite answer for you, but I do not,” he said, staring at the floor. “As much as I try to find reasons to be a better man that do not involve you, I still end up thinking ‘maybe someday I will be good enough for her.’ I know that is not how I should be going about this, but I still think of you every day.”

“When I was younger there was this woman I worked with who went back to her husband after he hit her and just couldn’t understand it,” you began. “Who could do that? Who would take a chance like that? In the end, they ended up working things out, and he got a lot of help so nothing like that would ever happen again, but I still didn’t get it. Guess now I do . . . Just wish I knew how to feel now that it’s me doing th same kind of thing.”

“If you were anyone else, if you were only my friend, and I knew someone had hurt you the way I did, I would tell you not to take them back,” Hanzo all but whispered. “That much I am certain of, and so, I believe that is what I should tell you now.” His words made your breath catch, but you knew he was right. Your chin quivered, and you tried desperately to keep tears at bay.

“You’re right,” you choked out.

“Please, please do not think this is because I do not want you,” Hanzo said earnestly, pressing his palm against your cheek. “You will always be the woman I most cared for and the woman who most changed me, but that is why I want to make sure I never harm you in any way ever again. You deserve every bit of happiness in the world, but that happiness should come from someone better than I.”

“Hanzo,” you gulped, wrapping your hands around his upper arm, “you’re not nearly as bad as you think you are.”

“Even if that is true, you still should have more.” He placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled away, leaving the room before you could protest.

Not that you had it in you.

You felt broken all over again.

But this time shattered you twice as far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Forgive me for posting this a day late (and for not posting the previous chapter, too! Still don't know what happened there). I've got family in town and one of them is ill.  
> \- This post was largely inspired by a comment from a reader on Tumblr. If you would like more information, here is the link to this chapter on my Tumblr: http://prettyfunkyunorganized.tumblr.com/post/176235424131/sugar-daddy-hanzo-part-8  
> \- As always, your support and feedback mean the world to me, and any interaction is appreciated. Thank you.


	9. Not Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your most distracting and fun client has come to help you forget Hanzo, but when you most need a friend, no one is there for you.

You rubbed your eyes as best you could without ruining your makeup and sighed. It felt as if you hadn’t had a good night’s rest in ages, not since the first time you and Hanzo had broken it off. Now, two months since Genji’s house party, you were still feeling crumpled and confused. Yes, the initial pain had subsided quite a bit, but your desire to be with him again was still raging like an inferno. As was your resentment at how terribly you missed Hanzo.

“Distractions,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped on your shoes, “I just need to be focused on something else. I’ll be fine. He’s just a boy, I’ll get over it.”

Which was worse, trying to force yourself to hate a man, or clinging on to every memory you had together like a desperate fanatic?

“Christ,” you hissed, “I’m starting to sound like Lori.”

As soon as you had tossed on your coat, your phone began to sing, and you smiled. “Hey Lucio,” you chuckled as you answered, “did you change my ringtone when I wasn’t looking?”

“Of course I did,” he laughed, “no college of mine is going to have a generic ringtone! Besides, ain’t you supposed to be repping me? Makes sense that you have one of my hits bumping out your cell every time I call!”

“Good point,” you nodded, checking your hair in the mirror one last time. “You here?”

“Yeah, I’m downstairs. You ready?”

“Be there in a sec,” you said, more cheerily than you had sounded in weeks. When your favorite client had surprised you at work the other day, things had instantly felt one hundred-times better. Lucio was always lively, excited, and willing to do just about anything to help someone have a good time. Which was where you came in. When he went a little over the top or stepped on a few toes with his . . . aggressive approach to philanthropy, you came in to smooth things over and convince media outlets to avoid heated words without knowing the facts.

“Lookin’ swanky, girl,” Lucio said as he waved you into his bright yellow sports car. “Those the frog earrings I sent you?!”

“Well of course,” you giggled, “they’re my favorite, and like you said, I’m here repping you.”

“Nice,” he said giving you a loud high five, “and might I say, you’re rocking that bright green dress.”

You flushed, “It’s not too much, is it?”

“No way! Just look at me,” he snorted, lowering his gold-rimmed sunglasses and gesturing to the shimmering golden equipment strapped to his legs. Even though he wasn’t the DJ at tonight’s event, the man wouldn’t be caught dead unprepared if the opportunity to ‘up the tempo’ arose.

“I suppose it’s not every day I get to go to a disco, so I may as well bring out the glittery go-go boots while I can,” you grinned.

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” Lucio cheered, pulling away from the curb like a wild man and cranking the radio, “Woo, let’s get this party started!”

As the two of you drove, Lucio chattered away almost nonstop, only interrupting his stories about his tour to bop along to the radio. He would automatically harmonize with any vocals, and his perfect tone gave you shivers.

“Is something up,” he eventually asked as he pulled up to the line for the valet parking, “you’re not usually this quiet.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you lied, eyeing the big Overwatch logo on the massive limo in front of you.

“Hey,” Lucio said, turning down the music, “come on, talk to me. That’s why you’re my favorite person to work with – you’re honest with me, no matter if I do great or if I really screw something up.”

You looked over to him and sighed. Lucio wasn’t just a client, he was a friend, too. The two of you had fumbled through the beginning of your careers together and backed each other up when things went haywire. He had helped you build an amazing resume, and you had helped him become a household name.

“It’s just,” you began awkwardly, “I kinda had a bad break up a while ago, and I’m _really_ hoping he won’t be here tonight.”

“Oof,” he grunted with a grimace, “that’s the worst. You were right when you told me not to date that pop star, ended in a world of hurt and I have to see her _everywhere!_ This guy, would he be here on the famous people end, or on the sponsoring end?”

“Sponsoring, I guess,” you said waving your hand at the Overwatch circle in frustration.

“You were dating someone with Overwatch,” Lucio asked somewhat incredulously. You nodded. “Well, at least you know how to pick ‘em. Was he a bigwig? Most of the time only bigwigs come to these things. And old friends,” he added, elbowing you gently.

“He’s a bigwig,” you groaned, watching as Gabe, Lena, and Mei all shuffled out of the back seat. Maybe you would get lucky and avoid having to share a room with Hanzo tonight, but that seemed way too fucking unlikely.

“See him,” Lucio asked, leaning around to try to get a better look.

“No, but his brother’s here,” you said softly as Genji waved to the cameras flashing at him.

Lucio leaned over the steering wheel and gave you a sad look. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“It was a big, stupid, ugly mess,” you huffed. “I just want to get over it and move on.”

“Well that can be arranged,” he beamed, “all you gotta do is promise me you’re going to have some fun tonight, no matter if this jerk is in here or not.”

“How you do you know he’s a jerk,” you asked, slumping onto the armrest doubtfully. How could you enjoy yourself if you were going to be assaulted with Hanzo’s handsome face all night?

“The guy’s got to be a jerk, he let you go,” Lucio said with a wink, “and besides, even if he’s not a jerk we can pretend his is for the new couple of hours and rub our good time in his face. Because that’s what friends do – help their pals get dramatic revenge at fancy parties.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Lucio’s devious and cute smirk, “Alright, I’ll do my best to have a great time, no matter what.” Besides, it looked like Hanzo wasn’t going to show anyway.

“Hell yeah! First round’s on me,” he said sitting up in his seat and accidentally bumping the horn. The chorus from his current number one hit blared out and made the Overwatch crew jump. Lucio quickly rolled down his window and hung out the window. “Sorry ‘bout that!”

As soon as the paparazzi saw him, the crowd went wild with cheers and photographs and calls for his attention, which Lucio soaked up graciously. He waved and blew a few kisses before shouting, “Hey, how about these Overwatch folks though, am I right? Gotta love a group of people who’re trying to make the world safer.” With this, he plopped back in the driver’s seat and grinned at you. “Whoops.”

“Very good of you to put the attention back on Overwatch,” you laughed, “being humble is always a good look.”

“Just being honest, I really do have a lot of respect for those guys,” he said. “I suppose it would be rude of me to ask you to introduce me to some of them considering the circumstances, right?”

“Um, rain check,” you asked bashfully.

“Next time,” Lucio agreed.

After a moment or two, it was Lucio’s and your turn to walk up the party, only there was much more shrieking and, ‘we love you’ shouts than Overwatch had received. So many fans fawning over your friend, all you could do was shake your head. However, when he looped his arm in yours to lead you to the door, you went bright red, and the crowd gasped.

“Uh, Lucio,” you said tentatively.

“Let them jump to conclusions,” he scoffed, “it makes for good news, and if your ex comes around I want him to know that he’s going to have to deal with _me_ if he wants to bug you.”

A snort burst from you as you looked at Lucio’s incredibly un-scary ‘tough-guy’ face. “He’s going to be petrified,” you laughed.

“Hey,” he said, feigning being hurt, “are you saying I’m not formidable? ‘Cause you know I am.”

“You’re the best, Lucio, that’s what you are,” you snickered as you pulled him to the door.

The lobby was decked out in neon lights and fluorescent colors, making you blink involuntarily. “Damn,” you gaped, looking at the tie-dye carpet that led to the massive glass elevator, “they really went all out.”

Suddenly Lucio gasped and gripped your arm and shook you. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! It’s D. Va!”

“The pilot and gamer girl? Wonder what she is – Holy shit! She brought her mech?! That’s – ” you reeled.

“That’s the coolest fucking thing ever,” Lucio squealed like an excited little kid. “You think she’d let me say hi? Or is that weird and needy? Or too super fan-y?”

“Didn’t she tweet out a few months ago that she was super bummed she wouldn’t be able to see your show in Seoul and – ”

“And gave that ticket to one of her fans! That’s right! She’s badass and a good person,” Lucio said with a wide smile.

“Not to mention a fan of yours,” you said. “Go see her! I’m sure she’d love to hang out with a fellow ‘badass and good person’ like yourself.”

Before you knew what was happening Lucio had swept you up in a massive hug. “Thanks, girl! You cool on your own for a few?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said shoving him away playfully, “now go, goofball.”

He scuttled off and disappeared into the growing hub of party-goers waiting for the elevator. You headed to the catering table nearby to wait, absently looking at the twelve disco balls twirling above you.

“Pretty, isn’t it,” snapped a familiar voice from behind you. You frowned and twisted around.

“Lori? What the – what are you doing here,” you asked worriedly. Since the whole incident with Hanzo, you hadn’t seen much of her, especially after she got fired for pitching fits at work all the time and trying to sabotage your work. Judging by her enraged scowl, she hadn’t gotten over it.

“Watching the mother-fucking finger food,” she snarled, gesturing to her little apron.

“Oh,” you said, taking a step back, “I, um – ”

“You ruined my life,” she seethed, grabbing your arm and pulling you toward her.

“Lorelai,” you sighed, “I’m sorry about the way things went down, I really am, but come on, can’t we just put it behind us?”

“What,” she said with an unsettling laugh, “you want to be friends again? No way in hell.”

“That’s not what I want,” you frowned, “but I don’t think charging me at a party is necessary either. That, and you weren’t exactly ‘friend of the year’ anyway.”

“You stole my boyfriend! _You’re_ the shitty friend,” she barked, dragging you toward a corner. The music was so loud her outburst hadn’t turned any heads, but the sudden confrontation had a few people looking on curiously. Lori had always been very good at causing a scene.

“Look,” you sighed, “will it make you feel better if I tell you we’re no longer together?”

“What,” she asked, her voice no longer filled with malice.

“Yeah, I broke it off,” you shrugged, “had to.”

Lori’s head dipped back as she laughed mockingly. “Bullshit! He probably dumped you, saw what a damned mistake he made with your ugly ass.”

“Believe what you want,” you said trying to yank your arm away from hers, “but it’s over, for he and I, for you and I, now leave me alone.”

“No,” she growled, shoving you toward the wall and reaching for her apron’s pocket, “we’re not done yet, you homewrecker.”

“Woah now,” a very tall woman said as she approached the two of you, “is it not a little early in the party for fights to be starting up? I have not even had a drink yet.”

The stranger tried to put a hand on Lori’s shoulder, but your former friend was quicker, pulling out a small handgun and pointing it at you. Before anyone had time to say anything, Lori fired a shot at you.

You watched in horror as the big woman snatched Lori’s wrist and twisted it behind her before pinning her to the ground. The woman was a beast, holding tiny Lori with one hand and shoving the gun in her waistband with the other as if it were nothing before looking up to you. “Are you al– pizda rulyu.”

Everything felt tight and wrong as you tried to take a breath. But nothing happened, at least not as it was supposed to. Everything hurt as you looked down and saw the blood pouring from your chest. But it couldn’t be yours, could it? Everything swayed to the side as you touched your breast and the blinding pain hit you. But the choking feeling in your throat was somehow even more oppressive.

Somewhere you could see flurries of movement and frenzied noises, but your mind couldn’t process anything but your inability to take a proper breath. You were so scared. And confused. What had happened? What was happening? What was going to happen to you? Were you – were you dying? You looked up at the faces trying to help you, but they only frightened you more.

None of them were familiar.

Where was Lucio?

Where was Mags? And the rest of the girls?

Where was your mom? Your dad?

Where was your grandmother? Your grandfather?

Where was Hanzo?

You wanted Hanzo.

You didn’t want to die without him.

Instead of words, you hacked out blood as you tried to ask for him, which made you panic triple, but your body wasn’t your own right now. It flopped about and trembled and leaked and sputtered without your control. Everything was so blurry and painful. You grabbed out for someone – anyone who could help you find someone you loved, but no one understood. They laid you down and tried to stop the bleeding and said things you were sure were kind, but nothing helped.

Everything hurt, and you wanted Hanzo.

That’s all you wanted.

To tell him he was an asshole for ever ruining what you had together.

To tell him he was the best sex you’d ever had.

To tell him he was a persnickety dick.

To tell him he was the most important person in your life.

To tell him he was an uptight grouch who was about to turn everyone away.

To tell him he was an incredible man for trying so hard to better himself.

To tell him he was a pain in the ass.

To tell him he was the only man you’d ever loved.

But you wouldn’t get the chance.

He wasn’t here.

And you couldn’t force yourself to stay awake any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Again a day late! My apologies. I am ill as well as moving to a new town, so my brain is rather spent. Forgive how short the chapter is, as well. With any luck, I'll be feeling better and all packed soon, leaving me more time to write.  
> \- Your feedback and support warm the cockles of my cold heart. I cannot thank you enough!


	10. Not Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You awake in a hospital room alone and in pain, but alive, still thinking of the man you want to see most.

Waking up had never been so difficult. Your eyelids dragged, almost impossibly heavy, but not nearly as stiff as your arms. Every shallow, tentative breath was a struggle, and your chest ached with each inhale. Each exhale. You looked around the brightly lit room and frowned. “Guess we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto,” you grumbled to yourself, “or maybe I’m the witch – certainly feel like I’ve been hit with a house.”

By some odd circumstance, it looked like you had the room to yourself, the bed to your right was folded up tight with precise corners as starkly white as the walls and ceiling above you. Everything was so . . . sterile, as if you had been transported to your very own dimension, removed from the rest of Earth. It was unsettling.

And sad.

Your chest tightened in a familiar way that had nothing to do with your injury, it was a painful manifestation of your growing disappointment and loneliness.

“You’d think the gals would at least come by to see me,” you whispered as tears welled in your eyes, “and if getting shot isn’t enough to get Mom and Dad to come visit me, what is?”

In a burst of realization, you remembered what had happened and put a hand over your breast, a powerful tenderness warning you to be gentle.

“Holy fuck I got shot,” you gulped looking for the nurse call button and slamming it while trying to tame your breathing.

After a brief pause that seemed to last ages, a nurse swung open your door and scuttled in, but not before you saw what looked like a dark suit a dark expressing in the hallway.

“Well, hello there,” the tall man in scrubs said with a smile. The bright corgi pattern on his shirt relaxed you for some reason, maybe it was because that was the first bit of color you had seen since you awoke.

“Hi,” you said softly.

“You look scared,” he murmured kindly, “don’t be. We got you all patched up, and you’re going to be fine.”

“Oh thank goodness,” you sighed, running your hands over your face. Of course you knew that you were alive, but hearing a nurse say ‘you’re not dying’ still made you feel a thousand times better.

“Do you remember what happened,” he asked. You nodded. “Good. And how are you feeling?”

“Uh,” you hesitated, “pretty shitty? But not dead so, I could be worse?”

He chuckled, “Very true. Feeling sore in your chest, right?”

“Oh yeah,” you groaned.

“We will get you something to help with that and check over your bandages here in a sec, I just want to tell you what we’ve done on our end if you’re feeling up to that.”

“Sure,” you nodded, trying to glance out the window so you could figure out if what you had seen was what you were desperately hoping to see. Then again, it was a hospital, and there were likely hundreds of patients here with worried family.

And Hanzo wasn’t family.

And he hadn’t taken you back.

And the nurse in all his corgi covered glory was in your way.

“Alright,” he said looking at the digital display on his arm, “you were brought in with a bullet wound in the chest, it went right through you, but went through your lung.”

“My lung,” you gaped in horror.

“Yes,” he confirmed, “that is what caused you so much trouble, but medicine has come a long way, and we were able to have your stem cells from your baby teeth flown in and have started growing you some new lung tissue. We had to do one surgery to keep you alive, so your left lung is currently dormant, and your right is doing all the work, which is probably why you’re likely feeling a little like you’ve been running a lot and haven’t quite caught your breath. Once your new tissue is ready, we will get you into the OR again have you feeling right as rain before you know it.”

“Wait,” you said reeling at what he’d just said. You knew your baby teeth could provide stem cells for fancy medical stuff, but patching up your lung? “So . . . you’re going to be able to just cover up the holes in my lung?”

“Yes, ma’am, just like a punctured tire.”

“Ew,” you grimaced at his analogy.

He laughed, “Yeah, sorry. The other nurses say I’ve got a way with words, but I’m not sure if they mean that as a compliment.”

“I mean, it helped me understand,” you shrugged, “but is my lung still going to be able to function normally with a patch? Am I not going to live as long or something because of this?”

“Actually, the procedure has been tested very thoroughly on patients with lung cancer, and there is very little if any loss of functionality. Patients with renewed lungs climb Everest, run marathons, and live long healthy lives – so long as they take care of themselves, that is. If you eat fast food every day or do drugs and die young, you can’t blame that on the new tissue.”

“Of course,” you nodded. “That’s pretty god-damned amazing.”

“It sure is,” he beamed, “the biggest inconvenience is the post-op checkups and drugs to help encourage faster healing, but all that will be finished up in a few months.”

“Good to know,” you sighed, a thin smile forming on your lips.

“Anything else you need right now, or should I start taking a look at you?”

“I – well, actually,” you fumbled, try to lean over and see the window, but you cringed at the pain, “could you just tell me if I have anyone out there waiting to see me? I – I thought I recognized someone.”

“You sure do,” the nurse said with a playful shake of his head, “you’ve had lots of people come in and out to see you, but it’s late at night right now, so the only one here at the moment is the older gentleman in the suit who basically never leaves. Man’s practically a part of the furniture now.”

You grinned so wide your chapped lips hurt, but you couldn’t stop. “Is his name Hanzo? Is he still out there? Will you tell him not to leave yet?”

“Calm down, calm down,” he laughed, backing toward the door, “I’m sure he’s still here, and I’d be happy to tell him you want to speak with him.”

“Thanks,” you said, blushing at your girlish excited outburst.

Without entirely closing the door behind him, the nurse spoke quietly with Hanzo, who had been waiting with an impatient look on his face. The instant you saw him you were relieved. In all honesty, you would have been happy to see anyone you knew out there, but knowing it was him was almost too good to be true.

The nurse came back in and asked you a few more questions while surveying your condition and giving you a bit of pain medication, but ‘not enough to make you all loopy,’ as per your request. Pain meds had always given you the creeps. It was awkward to have a man you’d never met poking your bandaged up boob while the other one laid out in all its glory, but thankfully as soon as you wrapped your hospital gown back up, Hanzo was waved in.

“Hey,” you said as he closed the door behind him. You did your best not to look like a giddy schoolchild, but you were far too happy to be in the same room as him again. Part of your uncontrolled emotion was definitely the drugs, but not all of it. You didn’t care if you shouldn’t be so enraptured to see him, at least not now. You had been shot, you could feel however the fuck you wanted.

“Good evening,” he responded lowly. The distant tone in his voice made you face fall flat, and the physical distance he kept between you made you pull your knees closer to your chest sadly.

“I was, um, well I was kind of surprised to see you here,” you admitted sheepishly.

Hanzo sighed and looked away. “Yes, I probably should not have come, but I felt I had to. That, and I could not find the will or focus to do anything _other_ than sit here and wait for news on your condition.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” you said softly, “extremely so.”

His lips pursed as his gaze landed on something next to your head. “You are the only one who has been happy to see me here.”

You twisted around as far as you could until your chest muscles griped at you to stop. There was a tiny speaker clipped to the bed frame with a note attached to it. “That sweetie,” you chuckled as you read Lucio’s message:

‘Sorry I couldn’t stick around ‘til you woke up! If I missed another tour date, the bosses were going to have some fried frog legs at their next meeting. Call me THE SECOND you wake up and know that I’m thinking of you. Lots of hugs, your best-est client.’

“He’s always so good to me,” you said shaking your head and the sad frog sketch Lucio had done on the other side of the card.

“I am glad you have found someone that has made you happy,” Hanzo said almost inaudibly, his eyes turned to the ground, bangs in his face as if trying to hide the sour look on his features.

Was he . . . jealous? Clearly you were feeling a little better because the devious part of your mind was suddenly much more awake. No, you shouldn’t be happy that Hanzo was feeling all put out at the fact that you had someone new if your life, but shit! How many people got to see the illustrious Hanzo Shimada practically _dripping_ in envy?

Plus, it meant that maybe – just maybe – you had a chance to have him back.

Maybe it took almost dying to realize that you were willing to give Hanzo another chance, or maybe that bullet had torn right through your resolve, but you knew what you wanted now, and you were ready to admit it. More than that, you were ready to fight for it.

If Hanzo really wanted you to find love with someone else, fine, you understood, but you weren’t going to just walk away. Not again.

“Perhaps I should go,” Hanzo said abruptly, “the nurse assured me that you will be fine and now that I have seen you for myself I believe I am feeling much more assured. Goodbye, and I hope you – ”

“Woah, woah, woah,” you shouted, sitting up and groaning at the way your body protested. You were shot in the chest, so why did your back feel like agony, too?

Hanzo turned back you, looking very unsure of himself. “What is it?”

“You know Lucio is just a friend, right,” you asked.

He scoffed and glowered at the door. “That is not what the tabloids say.”

“Since when do you put stock in the tabloids,” you said giving him a skeptical look.

“There are photos,” he said grimly, crossing his arms and keeping his gaze off you.

“Of what? Me and my friend walking into a party together? We may have been ‘arm in arm’ and all that, but people do that all the time. He’s just a public figure, so everything gets blown out of proportion,” you said matter-of-factly.

“The pictures of him covered in your blood and sobbing as they brought you to the hospital are quite . . . telling,” he insisted.

“Hanzo! I had just been shot! And he’s one of my friends! One of my best friends, in fact. If Gabe were to be gunned down in front of you wouldn’t you be looking a little disheveled?”

His head bobbed as an admittance that you had a point.

“Come here,” you demanded, holding a hand out to him. His body went rigid, and he didn’t move. “Please,” you pouted, beckoning him again.

This time he slowly made his way to you, stopping far enough away that you had to lunge forward a bit to grab his hand and yank him closer. His eyes were wide with surprise, or maybe concern, but fingers curled automatically around yours. You brought his knuckles to your lips and place a gentle kiss on them, the tension in Hanzo’s shoulders floating away, letting his perfect posture slip into a more relaxed stance. You were glad you still had that effect on him. Big oaf needed to pull that stick out of his ass every now and again.

“Lucio means a lot to me, but not the way you do,” you told him in the most earnest tone you could muster. “ _You’re_ the only person I want to be with, _you’re_ the one that I wanted with me more than anyone else when I thought I was dying, and _you’re_ the person I most wanted to see when I opened up my eyes in this place.”

“You know,” Hanzo said with a small smile, “you make it very hard to stay away from you.”

He leaned against the rail of your bed and set his palm on your cheek gingerly, you leaned into its warmth. “I guess getting shot has its silver lining.”

“I vehemently disagree,” he barked firmly, “it should not have taken a gunshot to bring us back together. A conversation would have done just as well.”

“Hey, for the record, I tried that,” you retaliated. “That night in your brother’s big fancy bathroom I wanted to talk about it but you – ”

Hanzo silenced you by placing his thumb over your lips, and you giggled, kissing the pad of his finger in delight. Having him this close again was everything you had hoped it would be. “I am sorry for that night,” he said tenderly, “I was only trying to – ”

“Trying to do the right thing,” you finished for him, nodding understandingly. “I know, and I was, too. But I don’t care about what’s ‘right’ anymore. I don’t want to give up on what we could have together, and I know you’re on the way to changing. I’m tired of chasing the ideal of what should happen. I just want to be happy, and you make me happy.”

“My beauty,” he cooed, placing a long kiss on each of your temples, “you make me happy, too.”

“Does that mean you’ll be with me again,” you asked, wriggling closer to him.

“How could I say no,” he chuckled, dancing his fingers along your exposed arm until you shivered, making him grin.

The two of you basked in each other’s presence, but no matter how hard you tried to keep from overthinking things, you had to ask him something.

“Hanzo?”

“Yes?”

“Will I be your sugar baby again or . . . ?”

“I – well – ” he stammered, clearing his throat to buy him time to find an answer.

“The full-fledged relationship idea still freaks you out, doesn’t it,” you asked worriedly.

“Yes,” he huffed frustratedly, “though I do not know why. I know I want to be with you, and I know that I want more than that sort of arrangement with you, but there is something about that word, that step that just . . . fills me with a dread I do not understand.” Hanzo looked down to you, an ashamed expression on. “I am sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said stroking his jawbone, “I don’t mind being your sugar baby again, but I’d like to set down a new set of rules and whatnot.”

“Of course,” he said, sounding relieved, “I believe that would be necessary.”

“But you are still going to your therapist, right?”

“Yes,” he said with a strong nod, “and this is something we have discussed lightly, but, as you know, there is much about me that needs to be . . . dealt with.”

“We’re all a work in progress,” you assured Hanzo, pulling him down so you could kiss him on the nose. The token of affection made his face go a little red, and you burst out laughing. “Good god I missed you and the way you blush, handsome.”

“I am quite convinced that you are the only one who can make me blush,” he grumbled, smirking just a tinge.

“Oh I bet Genji could tell me some fun stories that would make you all flustered,” you teased.

“Just who’s side are you on,” he said with a scowl.

“Mine,” you said brightly, “a girl’s got to put herself first, you know, and that’s what I do.”

“And I adore you for it,” Hanzo hummed, meshing his fingers into yours.

“Don’t worry,” you said, giving him a gentle squeeze, “I’ll always be in your corner, though.”

“A fact that makes me infinitely stronger.”

“I’m glad you realize that,” you said, beaming at his progress, “a couple of months ago I pegged you for the ‘I don’t need anyone’ type.”

“I have since learned a few things, met a few people who have shown me otherwise,” Hanzo said, holding your clasped hands to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'm on time! Holy cow! Anywho, I have just started a new chapter in my life so chapters here may continue to be a bit shorter than you are used to.  
> \- I am however going to start posting side details on my Tumblr about this story - stuff from Hanzo's POV, thoughts, fun facts, ideas, questions for and from you. If you are interested, my url is http://prettyfunkyunorganized.tumblr.com/ and the tag will be #sugardaddyhanzoextras Hope to see you there!


	11. Family Comes to Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are almost done with your hospital stint, hopefully. Just one more procedure, a day or two of monitoring, and then you would be a free woman again, but not before Hanzo is forced to meet your wild grandparents who have come to look after you.

The next few days were an odd blur of hospital personnel chats, visits from your loved ones, and lots of sleep. Your best girls came to see you in an almost shift like fashion, so you were rarely without one of them in the daytime, which was fantastic. They brought distractions off all sorts and food that was infinitely better than the stuff the nurses brought on their little green trays. A few people from work came with flowers galore and cards from every floor of the building, which was very sweet. Your parents called, so that was . . .

Well, to be honest, that was disappointing, but once the doctors had called to tell them you would make a full recovery, they had figured a trip across the country wasn’t necessary.

You had told dear old Mom and Dad that you didn’t mind.

But you did.

But at the same time, you were used to being second priority to their business.

But it still stung.

At least your grandparents were on the way, the wonderful people they were. Despite their age, the moment they heard you were hurt, they were buying train tickets. Your grandfather was very kindly deep down, but he was also very cantankerous and refused to fly on airplanes. His doctors had cleared him for air travel plenty of times, but the old man still would not board a plane for the life of him, hence why your Nana and Grandad were still in transit. That and your grandfather’s appointment with one of his three medical specialists.

Hanzo, however, had been at your side every evening to keep you company. Your friends were still extremely skeptical of him, so he avoided seeing them as much as possible. It was amusing to see him so tentative about something but he, “would rather not get his head bit off by three impassioned women.” You couldn’t blame him. Mags, Nicole, and Jules could be damn formidable when they need to be, especially when it came to one of the other girls in your little cohort.

It was nice though, having Hanzo all to yourself again, curled up on the small hospital bed absently talking about anything that came into your heads. He was being much more forthcoming this time around, sharing little stories about himself, answering silly questions a dating profile might ask. He preferred the country to the city, but wouldn’t be able to stand the commute into work. He didn’t like driving the vast majority of the time, but was also very particular about his cars. The man had a pilot’s license he used a few times a year to escape everyone and everything for a few days. He had homes all over the world, but none of them were more than two bedrooms – he preferred small spaces to big, unless he was outside.

Put plainly, you were finally getting to know him properly, and he you. And it was great. You laughed together and day-dreamed about all the places you could take one another – he was incredibly unknowledgeable about the American mid-west, but you had only been out of the country once, years ago. You would fall asleep each night with Hanzo toying with your hair and murmuring random stories in your ear. He always made you feel warm and safe before you drifted off, which was remarkable considering how much you detested hospital rooms.

Tonight, though, you were hours away from surgery, which had your stomach flopping every which way, no matter what Hanzo said.

“My beauty,” he said crossing his arms and looking down at you, “you must calm down. There is no need to be worried. The procedure straightforward and you have one of the best surgeons available, I made sure of that. Please, try to relax.”

“They’re messing with my lungs, Hanzo,” you moaned, “those are pretty crucial. It’s scary. I could die.”

You were sitting up in bed, cross-legged and bouncing your knee nervously. Hanzo put a hand on each side of your face, the soft leather of his gloves sending a comforting smell to your nose. “You will not die,” he said fiercely.

A heavy sigh left your chest as you pursed your lips up at him. “It’s not like you to be unreasonable. You know I could die. We both do.”

“Yes, there is a possibility,” he admitted, sitting on the edge of your bed, “but I do not wish to think of it. Which, you are right, is not like me. Usually, I prefer to face things as they are, but there is much about you that makes me act oddly.”

“Hanzo,” you said scrutinizing his stone-like face, “you look exhausted.”

“I am fine,” he insisted unconvincingly.

“You’re usually here with me late into the night,” you said thoughtfully, “and I know you work like a madman, so I bet you’re not getting much sleep, are you?”

“You are more important.”

“No, I’m not,” you frowned. “Your well-being is just as important as mine, dumbass.”

He chuckled, “’Dumbass?’ I am a dumbass for wanting to spend time with you while you are injured?”

“Well no,” you said rolling your eyes and smirking, “but you gotta take care of yourself, too. Pretty soon I’ll be out of here, and _someone_ is going to have to baby me while I recover, and I’m hoping that person will be you.”

“Do you believe your friends will allow that,” Hanzo asked with a raised brow.

“Meh, they’ll get over it. And they’re busy. Mags is nesting like crazy in preparation for the baby, Natalie is, well, Natalie-ing at a bunch of venues this month, and Jules has to get that monster of hers up and running for the horror film she’s working on.”

“What exactly does Natalie do,” Hanzo asked curiously.

“To be honest I’m not sure,” you grinned, “but I think she mostly goes to fancy restaurants and clubs to ‘appraise’ them. Mostly I think she’s just rude to people until they do what she says, but in all fairness, she does have exquisite taste and boosts the reputation of every place she goes to.”

“She gets to be judgmental and angry for a living?”

You snorted, “Basically! And she’s great at it.”

Hanzo glanced you over and smiled, “You seem to feel so much better. If only I could take you home now and pamper you.”

“You’ll look after me when I get out of here then,” you asked excitedly.

“Of course,” he scoffed, “I was only hoping I would not have to fight your friends for the privilege.”

“I think as the patient I get the final say on who takes care of me and I want it to be you,” you smirked scooting closer to him. “I bet you know how to pamper a girl right and you have two _very_ good reasons to pamper me.”

“Recovering from a gunshot wound and what else,” he asked.

“Being a dick and causing us to break up in the first place.”

You meant it to be a joke, a gentle ribbing meant to start putting that whole mess behind the two of you, but Hanzo didn’t see it that way. His head ducked, and he grabbed the blanket under him tightly. “I do have much to atone for,” he agreed solemnly.

“No, Hanzo, I didn’t mean it like that,” you began, but then a nurse came knocking and interrupted you.

“Hey there,” the tall woman said, “we’ll be prepping you for the OR here in a sec, so you and the fella better tie things up.”

“Alright,” you nodded, and the nurse took her leave. Your fear kicked back up to a ten, and you sucked in a deep breath in an effort to calm yourself.

Hanzo noticed and took your hand. “We have done everything we can to make this procedure as smooth and safe for you as possible. You have a highly skilled and experienced team operating on you. There is nothing more we can do than hope for the best. I believe threatening your surgeon with scandal and loss of her medical license will only make her jittery, so I shall not do that again.”

“You threatened my surgeon,” you gaped. Hanzo grinned slyly, and you smacked his arm. “That’s a terrible thing to do!”

“I am only joking,” he snickered, “but I did pay to have her flown in to take care of you. These days I try to go the less violent route when I can.”

“These days?”

“Please, do not ask,” he huffed, shaking his head and standing from the bed. A moment later the nurses arrived to whisk you away. You grabbed Hanzo’s hand and squeezed it tight. “I will be just outside the whole time, I promise,” he whispered kindly.

“No,” you said shaking your head, “go home. Get some sleep.”

“I am not going to leave you while they operate,” he said incredulously.

“I insist,” you said firmly, “they’re going to keep me overnight at the very least, and I’ll just be sleeping, so you should rest, too. There won’t be anything you can do here.”

His dark, beautiful brows were low over his eyes as he thought over your request. “Fine,” he eventually said, “but let me know the moment you wake up, agreed? I know how much you hate to be alone here.”

You waved your hand and blew a raspberry, “Don’t even worry about that! My grandma and grandpa will definitely be here by then to smother me. I’ll be just fine.”

“They will be here tomorrow,” he asked, his voice wavering just a hair.

“Yes,” you said tentatively, “why does that seem to freak you out?”

The male nurse chuckled softly. “First time meeting the lady’s family?”

Hanzo straightened his posture, making him look wider and more imposing, but there was still a slight red tinge to his face.

“I get it,” the other man said with a reassuring smile, “nearly shit a brick the first time my met my fiancé’s family.”

The female nurse let out a loud laugh, “You were quivering like a leaf all day!”

You giggled and smiled widely at Hanzo who was doing his best not to look concerned, but now you could see he most definitely was. “Relax, it’ll be fine! My Nana will love you – she loves pretty much everyone at first – and Grandad will . . . Um, well, I’ll tell him to be nice.”

“How reassuring,” Hanzo moaned, his hand over his face.

“Lie back,” one of the nurses said, patting your pillow, “time to go.”

You bit your lip and eased down. The incisions from your last surgery were still a bit tender, and now you would have to go through it all over again. In an instant your roles had reversed again, Hanzo comforting you rather than the other way around.

“The people in that operating room have done this procedure numerous times. You are as safe as you can be in their care, and I will be back at your side as soon as I can,” he said before taking your hand and kissing it gently.

“I’m as safe as I can be,” you repeated with a nod. “Thanks, Hanzo.”

“Of course. Now rest easy.”

“You too,” you said with a thin smile before they wheeled you away.

Unsurprisingly, the next thing you knew, you were back in your room again. The only thing that had changed was the time of day and the renewed pain in your chest. You groaned and rubbed your eyes as the sun beamed on your face.

“Oh my poor little pumpkin,” a familiar voice cooed before your face was splattered with unrelenting kisses.

“Nana. Nana! NANA,” you shrieked through aching laughter. It hurt to have your chest bouncing up and down like that, but hearing your grandmother blubber out adoring phrases made it worth it.

“Let her breathe, Claudia,” you grandfather spat jokingly, “you’re going to suffocate the kid’s newly patched up lung.”

Your grandmother let you go and smacked her husband’s arm. “Oh, hush you! I can snuggle my grandbaby as much as I please!”

“Could you at least be a bit more gentle next time,” you asked, a hand covering your throbbing snitches.

“I – oh darling! I’m so sorry,” the old woman gasped dramatically.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you insisted, “just very sore. But also very, very happy to see you two.”

“How ya feeling, chipmunk,” your grandfather asked, rolling his wheelchair up to your bedside with a massive smile.

“I’ve been better, but I’ve been worse, too,” you shrugged. “How are you holding up?”

“Fit as a fiddle,” he said doing a wheelie in his chair for show.

“One of these damn days you’re going to fall on your bald head and crack your skull open doing that,” Nana sighed, shaking her head.

“Babe, I’ve been doing this for ages,” the old man cackled, “natural to me as blinking by now.”

“Uh-huh,” his wife said doubtfully. Their banter instantly lifted your spirits and made you feel as if you were home again. Something about the way your grandfather still called his misses ‘babe’ and the way she still held his hand at every opportunity just made you happy inside.

“I’m glad you two are doing well,” you said sitting up in bed a bit.

“Us?! _Us?!_ ” Your grandmother gaped, “What about you?! My dear, sweet, baby girl! Shot!”

“Could hardly believe it when we got the call,” you grandfather agreed, “people these days . . .”

“I’m okay,” you assured them, “no need to fret.”

“Your granny is still going to,” your Grandad chuckled, leaning back in his chair a split second before your grandmother launched into a veritable speech on why she should absolutely be worried and just how worried she was. You barely got a chance to get a word in, awkwardly explaining to the old woman that other people were worried as well and ought to know that you were doing alright. She lectured right through your texts to Hanzo and the girls.

As expected, Nana and Grandad began to treat you as if you were paralyzed, not just recovering. She tried to feed you a mass of food she had prepared while he took it upon himself to inspect your bed to “make sure they didn’t give you shoddy digs.” You were turning down a third helping of chicken soup while listening to your grandpa complain about the lack-luster locks on the window when a timid knock rapped on your door, silencing everyone.

“Who is it,” Nana asked as if it were her own front door.

Hanzo opened up the door just enough to poke his anxious looking head in.

“Well hello there, dear,” your grandmother cheered, racing over to the door and throwing it open for him. “Come in, come in! The more, the merrier! Anyone who comes to visit my grandbaby is a friend of mine.”

“Thank you,” Hanzo said respectfully, taking a small step into the room.

“Harrumph,” Grandad practically growled as he wheeled himself over to Hanzo’s side, “is this that boss of yours that has been treating you like shit? ‘Cause I got a few words for him. . . “

“No, no,” you sputtered quickly, trying to save Hanzo from getting a grumpy earful, “he’s not my boss.”

“And watch your language in front of our granddaughter’s friend,” Nan said sternly.

“Clearly he’s a grown man,” your grandfather said, gesturing to Hanzo flippantly, “I’m sure he knows all the ‘naughty’ words.”

“Still. And don’t make assumptions,” his wife hissed before turning to Hanzo with a smile bright enough to blind a man. “Ignore my other half, traveling always gets to him.”

“And having my one and only granddaughter shot.”

“Do not joke about our baby’s baby getting shot,” Nana snapped.

Hanzo looked at you desperately for saving, and you struggled to contain uproarious laughter.

“Anyway,” Grandad said giving Hanzo a close once-over, “you a coworker then? Neighbor? What are you doing here?”

“I, well,” Hanzo began awkwardly, adjusting his tie as he tried to find the right words to say. Although, it seemed a bit like he was struggling to say anything.

“We’re seeing each other,” you blurted, also not sure how exactly to label your relationship.

“Oh,” your grandmother said with an air of confusion. Then she turned around to look at you, and her eyes went wide.  “Oh! OH! This is your – oh! Well . . . alrighty then.”

It was apparent that a lot of assumptions were being made all of a sudden and you smacked your head into your hand. What a fucking mess this was going to be. At least Grandad didn’t have a gun out like the last time you had brought someone home to meet them.

Hanzo recovered quickly and so smoothly it was as if nothing had ever happened. He put on his most charismatic smile and extended a hand to your grandmother. “I am Hanzo Shimada, ma’am. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The charm dripping from Hanzo’s attempt to salvage his first impression was enough to make you flush. He shook your grandmother’s hand, putting his opposite hand around hers in a sweet and kindly way, making her giggle like a schoolchild.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Shimada. I’m Claudia.” She let out a flustered ‘oh my’ as he bowed lowly to her. “Oh I like him,” she fake whispered to you, jerking her thumb to Hanzo.

“I knew you would,” you grinned, giving Hanzo a quick wink. Look at him doing so well even though there was still panic in his eyes.

“Well I don’t,” Grandad huffed.

“Marvin,” your Nana gasped, smacking him again.

“Just being honest,” he shrugged, “never liked guys in fancy suits. I just don’t.”

“I think he looks sharp,” your grandmother retorted, pulling Hanzo deeper into the room so he could stand beside you. Your man seemed to relax a little now that he was close to you.

“Grandad,” you said with a sigh, “please don’t be too harsh.”

“At least let me ask a few questions,” the old man said, squaring himself up to Hanzo and scowling and the man.

“Of course,” Hanzo said calmly, but you could tell by the way his hands were tightly clamped behind his back that he was hanging on to his composure by a thread.

“You got lots of money, don’t you,” Grandad asked, keeping constant eye contact throughout his interrogation.

“Yes, yes I do,” Hanzo nodded.

“Make it behind a desk?”

“In many ways, yes, but I have also – ”

“Uh-huh,” your Grandad cut him off, clearly not impressed. “You planning on covering all my girl’s medical bills?”

“I already have,” Hanzo responded.

“You have,” your Nana gasped.

“You have,” you asked in shock.

“Yes,” Hanzo replied, turning to you. “I realize I should have asked, but the night it all happened I was only thinking of some way I could help. The last thing I wanted was for you to survive, heal, and then have a massive medical bill hanging over your head. I may not be a doctor, but I could at least do that one thing to make this all a bit easier on you.”

He looked almost embarrassed, and you ran a hand down his arm soothingly, “That really wasn’t necessary, Hanzo.”

“I know, but I felt as if I needed to do _something_ for you, lest I lose my mind,” he said with a shrug.

“Yep,” Grandad said as if he’d found the murderer in a mystery novel, “you’re the type that likes to throw his money about to solve all his problems. Not my favorite type of man. Not. At. All.”

“Marvin,” Nana scolded.

“Grandpa,” you barked furiously.

“Oh, I can see through this guy a mile away,” your grandfather continued as if nothing had happened. “Not the type to take responsibility, just puts band-aid made of cash on everything to cover up the damage he does.”

Just as you were about to uncork at your usually very endearing grandfather, you saw Hanzo’s demeanor change out of the corner of your eye and went silent. Your grandmother did the same.

“I have not always been the best of men,” Hanzo said, no longer willing to be attacked and fully ready to defend himself, “but I am not a man who does not take responsibility for my actions. I know many men like that and I will not be put in with them. I have not always been a man of means, and I do not take my comfort for granted, nor do I use my wealth to buy favor with anyone. When I make a mistake, I am fully aware of that and do everything in my power to make it right. I know that the most important things in this life have nothing to do with material goods and I most certainly do not believe that money fixes everything. When it comes to loved ones, time and care are paramount, and that is what I intend to give your granddaughter.”

As Hanzo finished his retort, you found that you were smiling. People didn’t challenge your grandfather back home – a fact that the old man was known to push a bit too far sometimes – so watching the man you cared for basically say, ‘I don’t care what you think, I’m going to be with this woman so help me god,’ was oddly intoxicating.

But your grandfather ruined the mood in an instant with a strong punch back:

“If you care so much, where the hell were you when my grandbaby was shot?”

This took Hanzo aback, his head jolting just the tiniest bit in surprise before he looked at the floor in shame.

It wasn’t his fault.

Hanzo would have taken that bullet for you if he had the chance.

You knew it.

He’d even said it to you the other night.

You loved your grandpa dearly, but he had a nasty habit of being nasty to any man that got close to you.

And you weren’t going to have it this time.

“Grandad. Not. Okay,” you said lowly, making the older man turn to you with a look of shock, as if he had forgotten anyone else was in the room. “Hanzo cares about me more than you know and there was nothing he – or anyone else – could have done to change happened. Lori went off her rocker and shot me. That’s it. You have no right to make him feel guilty for that. I really, _really_ like this guy, and I expect you to give him a chance, not just judge him because you can. He makes me happy, and that ought to be enough to make you realize that he’s worth getting to know at the very least.”

“I – you’re right,” your Grandad mumbled, squirming in his chair. He glanced up at Hanzo and sighed. “Sorry about that. Guess I got a bit overprotective there. It’s just that my grandbaby here is my world and seeing her all laid out in a hospital bed, attacked the way she was . . . I suppose I don’t trust anyone around her right now.”

“I understand,” Hanzo said with a nod, “she is worth protecting, there is no denying that.”

That answer seemed to please Grandad well enough, but the air in the room was still saturated with hostility.

“Oh Marv, you’ve been protecting our little grand-girl like she was a porcelain doll ever since she came into the world,” your grandmother said, diffusing the tension with a grace you’d only ever seen her possess. She put a hand on her husband’s shoulder and patted him. “Why don’t we get you something for that sweet tooth of yours? That ought to bring up _everybody’s_ mood.”

“You’re right, as always,” your grandfather nodded, kissing his wife’s hand. “What would I do without you?”

“Ostracize everyone, evidently,” the old woman grumbled, only half-jokingly as she wheeled him out of the room. “Back in a tick, pumpkin! You eat some more of my soup while we’re gone, alright?”

As soon as they were gone, you let out a long sigh, and Hanzo slumped over as if exhausted.

“Please tell me you have a small family so I may not have to endure that ordeal too many more times,” Hanzo begged.

You giggled and pulled him close enough to kiss. “I have an itty bitty family, I promise. Grandad was definitely the worst of it, too.”

“That was a nightmare,” he groaned into your hair. “I haven’t felt that . . .”

“Inadequate,” you offered.

“Yes. ‘Inadequate’ in ages.”

“Yeah, Grandad has a way of doing that. He’s top dog in my little town back home, and I think that may have inflated his ego over the years. But you did great!”

Hanzo reeled back and frowned deeply at you. “’Great?’ How could _that_ be described as ‘great?’”

“Because you let him have his piece, and you then pushed back when he went too far. Most men just roll over for him. He’ll respect you for standing your ground. Eventually.”

“Eventually,” he said dismally, rubbing his temples.

“Hey,” you said hugging his torso and resting your chin on him as you gazed up at his impossibly gorgeous features, “relax. The only other people you have to meet are my mom and dad. You’re a successful businessman, so they’ll fawn over you, guaranteed. That, and Nana is already head over heels for you, so she’ll break down Grandad’s resolve. Grinding down his edges is her specialty.”

“I am glad you are confident about all this, even if I am not,” Hanzo chuckled, weaving his fingers into your hair.

“Even if something does go bad, don’t sweat it. I’ll cover for you,” you laughed, the wound in your chest slowly getting used to the sensation.

“I have survived hundred upon hundreds of ruthless corporate meetings, but _that_ was daunting,” Hanzo snickered, sitting beside you and placing a kiss on your cheek. “Although, I believe I am beginning to see where your penchant for biting jokes and profanity comes from.”

“Oh yeah,” you grinned, “that’s all slightly boozy Grandad babysitting me as a kid. Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Just a reminder that I am posting side details on my Tumblr about this story - stuff from Hanzo's POV, thoughts, fun facts, ideas, questions for and from you. If you are interested, my url is http://prettyfunkyunorganized.tumblr.com/ and the tag will be #sugardaddyhanzoextras Hope to see you there!


	12. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last surgery is over and you finally have a moment alone with Hanzo. And a moment to start process what has happened to you.

The last surgery came and went just like any other, leaving you waking up with Hanzo on one side of your bed while your grandparents sat on the other. You smiled at the flowers perched on your side table. They were long stems covered with tiny yellow flowers you had called ‘pixie dust’ growing up. Here in the city, you never saw these dainty little plants, but back home they were everywhere. When you were smaller, you and your grandparents would run your fingers along the stem to pull off as many flowers as you could, then make a wish as you blew all the little petals into the air. Just seeing the vase full of your childhood favorite was enough to make you smile ear to ear.

“Good morning, or rather, evening,” Hanzo said as he noticed you were awake, setting his book aside.

“Hey,” you responded groggily.

“There’s my pumpkin,” your Nana chirped out, squeezing your hand. Your grandfather snorted in his sleep, but didn’t wake up.

“He could sleep through a plane crash,” you giggled.

“At least he remembered his neck pillow this time. Last time we traveled, he forgot it, and the chiropractor nearly lost his mind,” Nana chuckled. “But enough about him, how are you, my strong girl?”

“I’m fine,” you shrugged, “sore again, but I feel like I can take a deep breath now, so that’s nice.”

“I will go find a doctor,” Hanzo offered, heading to the door. Your Nana watched him leave then turned back to you excitedly the moment he was gone.

“Tell. Me. Everything,” she demanded giddily.

You grinned. Of course, you weren’t going to tell her _everything_ , hell you couldn’t even tell her half of it, but you knew the old gossip wouldn’t let you rest until she had at least a few details.

“Alright, Nana,” you laughed, “I’ll tell you some of the good stuff. I met him at this fancy party a while ago, and we kinda got together. Trouble of it is, he sorta, um, dumped my friend to be with me instead.”

“Oh,” she said, lowering her voice as if every word you said was a precious secret, “well that’s complicated.”

“It was Lori. You remember Lori, right? The one who I was always covering for at work and driving home after benders?”

Nana’s face went sour. “Yes, yes. I remember you telling me about her. Never understood why you liked her in the first place.”

“Well, she helped me out when I first got to the company. Now I realize she was just using me, but still, that’s how it happened. We haven’t really spoken since I started going with Hanzo, though. That is, until she shot me.”

“She’s the one who shot you,” your grandmother reeled.

“Yeah,” you sighed, rubbing a sore spot on your chest, “that was her.”

“Good grief! What a jealous bitch!” You smirked at her swearing. As a kid, you had learned all your naughty words from grandma.

“I still can’t believe she went this far,” you groaned. “Hope they find her.”

“Oh they did,” your Nana said, “Hanzo said she’s been incarcerated and is going to be locked up for a very long time. Now that I think about it, he sounded very confident of that . . .”

“He probably made sure of it,” you murmured quietly.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing,” you said trying to put on a sweet smile. Nana didn’t need to know you were dating the sort of man who would throw money around and bribe officials to make sure you were safe. But you knew he absolutely would.

“Well, in any case, he seems like a nice man, if not a little quiet and scary at times.”

“You think he’s scary,” you laughed. He was, but it was different to hear your grandmother say it.

“Do you not?! He’s so grave looking with that angular face of his! And so somber! There was a rather unpleasant nurse in here a while ago who made a remark about ‘only stupid people get shot,’ and before your Grandad could start barking, Mr. Shimada there gave the fellow the most powerful look! Stopped the man dead and made him lose two shades of color in his face. Gave me the shivers, too.”

“He can be like that,” you admitted with a smile, “but he means well.”

“I get that impression,” your grandmother smiled. “He seems quite taken with you.”

“He is,” you nodded, “and I’m very lucky.”

“Not half as lucky as he is,” she said with a wink. “Although, I do wish he would open up a little. We’ve been sitting here for hours but he didn’t say much.”

“Gana-nana, opening up is absolutely _not_ his strong suit.”

“Oh, but it’s just me! I’m a sweet old lady! Who wouldn’t feel okay opening up to me?”

“Someone who has a very complicated relationship with his own family,” you clarified.

“I see,” your Nana said, glancing at the door behind her. “He looks like the type of fella with some baggage. You just keep your priorities straight, alright? You are your first priority, and you don’t have to fix anyone.”

“I know, Nana, I know,” you chuckled. “You taught me that well when I was younger.”

“No grandbaby of mine is going to get roped into micromanaging a man like I did in my first marriage,” she said firmly.

“I’m doing my best,” you promised her.

A moment later, Hanzo and a doctor came in, prompting your Nana to smack your Grandad awake.  The doctor greeted you with a smile before launching into a summary of your progress. “Everything looks good so far. The tissue melded together quite nicely, your lung function is getting more normal, and you seem to be in good spirits.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I’m still sore and tired, but I feel like I’m getting there. Or maybe I’m just getting used to it.”

“Either way,” the doctor said, tucking her tablet under her arm, “I can’t see any reason you can’t go home now.”

“Really,” you grandmother asked worriedly, “so soon?”

“Yes. She’s been a model patient, and we have follow-up appointments scheduled, too, so I’m confident she’ll be fine. Should you need anything though, you can always give me a ring.”

“I’m not protesting,” you said taking the woman’s card from her outstretched hand. “Get me out of here!”

Your Grandad laughed. “You’ve hated hospitals since the day you popped out. Have I ever told you that story about the day your parents took you home?”

“Yes,” you groaned, “only a thousand times. ‘The minute yer momma stepped out of the sliding doors you clammed up and just looked around. Were quiet as a peep the whole way home.’”

You caught Hanzo smiling at your reenactment and wondered if you would ever hear stories about his childhood. Genji would probably happily spill the beans for you.

“Well if that’s the case,” the doctor continued, “hopefully you’ll feel better once you get some fresh air. However, once our pain medicine wears off, you might be feeling a little wiped out, so I recommend having someone at least come to check on you every once in a while if not stay with you a few days.”

“Maybe I should stay then,” Nana said, turning to her husband.

“You have to go? So soon,” you asked, your heart sinking a little.

“Rodriquez passed away last week. His memorial is the day after tomorrow,” your Grandad explained heavily. The name was familiar since he and your grandfather had been friends for decades.

“That’s awful,” you said shaking your head, “but you should both go to the memorial. I’ll be okay. The gals and Hanzo can look after me.”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother them,” your grandmother said with a wave of her hand. “I can stay.”

“It would not be a bother at all,” Hanzo finally piped up, “I had already planned on staying with your granddaughter should she need me.”

“Yeah, don’t take away my chance to make Mr. Fancy Pants here play nursemaid,” you joked, grinning at Hanzo.

“Well,” your grandmother hesitated, “it would be nice to be there for Rodriquez’s husband if he needs me. That dear man hasn’t been without his sweetheart for over seventy years . . .”

“Yes, go take care of him,” you insisted, “I’ll be just fine.” That, and you would rather spend your lazy days watching Hanzo’s handsome form take care of you instead of watching your Grandad rearrange your kitchen ‘the right way.’

“You just make sure those lady friends of your come over too,” Grandad said warningly. “I like that feisty one, and I want to make sure _someone_ is scrutinizing this man of yours with a critical eye.”

“Marvin if you don’t cool it I’m never making you my signature alfredo sauce again,” your Nana snapped.

“Alright, alright,” the old man said, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Don’t worry, Grandad, Nicole is already on the job, isn’t she, Hanzo,” you smirked.

“She seems quite determined to find every possible fault in me,” Hanzo admitted.

“Good,” you grandfather muttered.

“Why don’t I go get a nurse to get you ready to go,” the doctor – who had been watching the spat with an amused smile – said before ducking out.

Not long after, you were bundled up in a pair of sweats and ready to finally go home. It was late in the day now, and you couldn’t help but notice you grandmother’s yawns.

“Nana, Grandad, did you get a hotel room,” you asked.

“Yes, but we can see you off to your apartment first. We’re fine,” the old woman replied.

“Speak for yourself,” Grandad said with a stretch, “I’m beat. Let this suit-wearing galoot take her home since he’s so keen on proving himself a good guy. We can come over in the morning and make the girl breakfast before we head out.”

“She’s out grandbaby Marvin! How are you not more concerned by all this?”

“Because I know just how tough our grandgirl is,” he said patting your arm. “We helped raise a hell of a young woman, and I know she’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, Grandad,” you said leaning over to kiss the top of his head. “And thanks for being a worry wort Nana, but I’m okay. All I want to do is sleep in my own bed, so you guys go hit the hay, too.”

“Oh alright,” she relented, “but you let me know if you need anything.”

“Yes ma’am,” you nodded, taking a step to Hanzo’s side.

“I have my car waiting,” he said offering his arm to you. You held his elbow and waved to your family.

“If you would rather be with them,” Hanzo began, “I will not be offended in the least.”

“No, no,” you said firmly. “I love them to bits, I do, but when I’m hurt or sick Nana starts hovering and makes it hard to relax. Grandad starts cooking way too much and destroys the whole house in the process. No, what I need tonight is quiet and you.”

“I am happy to oblige,” he said with a thin smile, opening the car door for you.

It felt like an excruciatingly long ride home, so the moment you were in the door you couldn’t help but scream, “Thank. Fucking. God!”

“You hatred of hospitals is . . . remarkable,” Hanzo said with a chuckle, locking the door behind him.

“Most things about me are remarkable though, aren’t they,” you grinned, leaning in to kiss him. This was the first time you had been able to properly put your arms around him since the two of you reconnected, and it felt fantastic. You buried your face in his chest and breathed in deeply. He always smelled clean and fresh, but now there was a tiny hint of antiseptic smell lingering on him, too. Fucking hospitals.

Hanzo kept his arms around your waist and smiled down at you. “Remarkable seems the most perfect way to describe you,” he agreed.

“It’s nice to be with you like this again,” you said softly. “I knew I missed being next to you, but I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed it.”

“I know precisely what you mean,” he hummed gracing his hand up and down your back. You shivered.

“How long did the docs say I had to stay away from ‘strenuous activity,’” you asked leadingly, kissing the sensitive spot under his jawbone.

“Two weeks so you may properly heal,” he replied, “and I will be counting down every hour.” His hands gravitated to your ass as he left a trail of kisses from your ear to shoulder.

“Don’t tease me,” you laughed, pulling away from him.

“Forgive me,” he said with a glint in his eye, “it is still my favorite way to pass the time.”

You turned toward your kitchen and ruffled your hair. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to grill me a cheese while I take a quick shower instead?”

“Of course I will,” he nodded, making his way to your fridge, “but be careful not to get your injuries too wet. I have had plenty of experience with the waterproof coating they put on bullet wounds these days. It is only waterproof _to a degree_.”

“Have you been shot before,” you asked from the bathroom doorway.

“You have seen my scars before,” he said with an air of apathy, “you know how extensive they are.”

“That’s true,” you said thinking over the first time you saw him with his clothes off, “guess I didn’t recognize any of them as a healed bullet hole.”

“I am glad you have not had much experience in that,” he said pulling a pan from a cupboard. You couldn’t help but admire his toned butt.

“Here I thought all your scars came from sexual exploits gone wrong,” you laughed.

“I must admit, a few of them are,” he shrugged.

“Oh I’ve got to hear about that,” you demanded before heading to wash the grime off of you.

By the time you were feeling clean and mostly normal again, the pain medication was wearing off, leaving your aches much more noticeable. You flopped onto the couch in your pjs and sighed, rubbing your stitches. Hanzo brought a plate to you a moment later and sat.

“Thanks, Hanzo,” you said blinking your tired eyes.

“Are you feeling worse now,” he asked, his arm resting on the back of the couch behind your head. You nodded. “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” you said simply, “I think I just need to sleep in my own bed. And the warm, cheesy goodness helps, too.”

He smiled wide. “I’m glad my sandwich preparation skills are still adequate. I do not cook as much as I used to.”

“You used to?”

“Yes, after I . . .  broke away from my family, I lived alone for a number of years on very little means, and so I had to learn to cook. You should have seen my first attempts. They were some of my most undeniable failures.” He grimaced as if he could still taste something burnt in his mouth.

“You’re so dedicated, though, I bet you did all the research and all the practice and figured out how to ace all your favorite meals,” you said worming a little closer to him.

He let out a loud laugh, “You certainly know my tendencies.”

“Will you make me something fancy someday,” you asked, taking another bite, “I’ll return the favor.”

“Anything you like,” he promised in a low tone, weaving his fingers into your hair. The sensation put you even more at ease, and your lids grew heavy.

“Hanzo?”

“Yes?”

“Will you stay here with me tonight? I know we can’t have any fun or anything but I – I’d . . . ”

“If you want me to stay I will,” he said with a small kiss to your forehead. “Anything you need, I am here.”

“Thank you,” you said placing your hand over your chest. “I just – it’s hard to feel safe and strong after what happened. I try my best to a confident woman and take care of myself, but after Lori . . . I just want someone close by. As much as I hated being stuck in that white room with an IV in my arm, at least there was a nurse call button and staff looking out for me all the time.”

“You will never be alone if you do not want to be so long as I am alive,” Hanzo sad firmly. “I could not be there when you were hurt, but I will do all I can to keep you safe from now on.”

You giggled, “You are a formidable guy. I’d be scared to fuck with someone I knew you cared about.”

“And I pity anyone who dares antagonize you once you recover. I have no doubt you will come out of this stronger than ever. It is just who you are, and one of the things I most adore about you.”

“You’re so good to me,” you smiled, kissing his arm.

“I will try to be deserving of you.”

“I know, and I will be, too. But no more trying tonight. I’m exhausted and I need some sleep. ASAP,” you groaned.

“Do you have fresh sheets for your bed,” Hanzo asked, standing.

“Yeah, in the top of the closet, but I don’t know if they really need to be changed yet.”

“Nonsense,” Hanzo said with a small frown, “few things feel better than fresh sheets. Finish eating, and I will make up your bed.”

“Thanks, my considerate man,” you beamed.

After a few moments of spacing out, you heard Hanzo call out to you.

“May I ask you for a favor,” he asked.

“Um, sure,” you hesitated.

“Remind me to but you decent sheets,” he said, a displeased lilt in his voice.

“Are you judging my bedding,” you laughed.

“Yes, my beauty, yes I am.”

“Fancy pants,” you chuckled under your breath. Despite Hanzo’s insistence that your sheets, pillowcases, and mattress all needed to be replaced, he still crawled into bed with you, letting you snuggle up as much as you wanted. With him pressed against you, the feeling of safety settled into your bones and allowed you to drift peacefully off to sleep.


	13. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is impressed by your ability to fix a common problem, you are impressed by Hanzo opening up a little. Everything is relative with the two of you.

The next few days were spent lazing about with Hanzo and eating the plethora of comfort food your grandparents had left for you, but it was Monday again, and Hanzo had to be off to work. The man was definitely a bachelor, not doing the best of jobs staying quiet as he got ready to leave at a ridiculously early time. You were trying desperately to stay asleep but then heard an onslaught of angry Japanese. A laugh bubbled from your throat – his rare little outbursts always made you smile.

“Hanzo,” you called groggily, “everything okay in there?”

He poked his head out of the door with an apologetic look. “Forgive me, I did not mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you said sitting up and rubbing your eyes, “I can always nap later. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he huffed, glaring at the bathroom behind him.

You stood and ambled over to him sleepily. “So you just felt like curing out my bathroom? I know it’s small, but at least it works.”

“That is not the problem,” Hanzo explained, “I just managed to drop my cufflink down your drain, it all. Just a minor inconvenience. I need to go by my apartment to change anyway.”

“Something special about this cufflink,” you asked, pulling back your hair.

He looked a little sheepish. “No. It is only a trinket.”

“Come on you pressed,” opening up your linen closet and grabbing the mop bucket, “fess up.”

With a bit of confusion on his face, he watched as you began to push all the junk under your sink to the sides to make way for the bucket. “I admit, it has some sentimental value, but what on Earth are you doing?”

“Emptying out the P-trap,” you yawned, “to get you your cufflink.”

“The what?”

“P-trap.”

His frown deepened. “A trap for pee? In the sink?”

You burst out laughing. “No, my cute little rich boy, not that kind of ‘pee.’ Just plumbing. Come here, I’ll show you,” you said gesturing for him to kneel beside you.

He did as instructed and you handed him a flashlight to hold. After losing power while taking a shower, you kept one in every room. As soon as you put on rubber gloves, Hanzo got apprehensive. “My beauty, it is just a cufflink, no need to do anything drastic.”

“It’s basic plumbing,” you grinned, adjust the beam of the flashlight by moving his outstretched hand. “What, will I no longer be a beauty if I get my hands a little dirty?”

“Not at all,” he said, handing you the towel you pointed at, “but I am more than happy to call a plumber to deal with this for you.”

You scoffed, reaching into the back of the cabinet under your sink to shut off the water supply. “No way in hell am I letting you pay for a plumber for _this!_ And the plumbers ‘round here are usually booked for weeks. Just give me a sec, this won’t take longer than a couple of minutes.”

In curious silence, Hanzo watched as you unscrewed the slip nuts on either side of the curvy piece of PVC pipe and let the water trickle out. Once it was all dripped away, you pulled out the bucket and felt around for the little piece of metal. You smiled triumphantly as you pulled out the little silver pin.

“Ta-da!”

Hanzo chuckled at you and shook his head. “Who knew I had fallen for such a handywoman?”

“What can I say,” you shrugged, holding his cufflink out for him to take, “some of us were broke ass college students who couldn’t afford to hire a professional. Thank god for YouTube tutorials.”

His whole body recoiled as you held the slightly soiled piece of metal out, “I don’t suppose you have some rubbing alcohol?”

You giggled, taking off one of your gloves and handing grabbing a nearby bottle. “How did you get by before you met me?”

“A lot of hired help,” he smirked, helping you up. “Thank you for doing this for me, especially after I woke you up so rudely.”

“No worries,” you said, swishing the disinfectant around, “I’ve done it plenty of times with earrings before work.”

With a quick tug, Hanzo pulled you close and kissed the well of your neck. “You are remarkable,” he said wistfully.

“Hanzo,” you laughed, “it’s the most basic plumbing you can do – the opposite of remarkable.”

“One man’s common is another man’s unbelievable,” gazing at you dreamily. His look hade your heart race. “I wish I could stay here with you another day.”

“I get the feeling a workaholic like you has plenty of vacation days built up,” you grinned wrapping your arms around him.

“That I do, but unfortunately I also have a meeting with an international client as well. You know, it has been a very long time since I wanted to take a day off. I have always felt I needed the distraction.”

You gave his cheek a quick peck and toyed with his silken hair. “Lucky for you, I’ve got a ton of vacation days, too. We’ll have to make good use of them soon.”

“Indeed we will,” Hanzo hummed, “but for now, I must go. May I call you later? See if you are up to lunch?”

“Please do,” you nodded, reluctantly letting him go. “I’ll tell you all about the other household repairs I can do.”

“Sounds delightful,” he smiled, kissing you as long as he could before rushing out the door.

You spent the next hours or so pretending you would be productive, but instead fell asleep on the couch.  It was your cell phone blaring away that woke you up in a panic.

“Hello,” you said rubbing your tired eyes. Then came a three hour long, entirely infuriating conversation with your company. They had found out you were released from the hospital and wondered why you were not clocked in. Less than a week after you had been shot point-blank. You were still sore and taking a myriad of drugs to help your body patch itself up. You doctor had told you to stay off your feet as much as possible for a week, and even after that, you were supposed to avoid anything that put too much stress on your body until your next appointment. If anything happened to your injured lung, it could be utterly deadly.

And yet the boss was yelling at you for ‘bungling the Lucio event.’

After your call had been dropped the third time while you were being transferred, you gave up and turned your phone off in a fury. “Fuck that,” you snarled, breathing heavily through your anger. Your pain flared up in response, and you held your chest. “I am not at all ready to go in yet,” you whispered dejectedly. You steadied your breathing and eyed the pain pills on your coffee table. Sure they would help, but opioids scare the hell out of you after watching one of your classmates dissolve into addiction. You snatched your phone and turned it back on.

“This is exactly why ‘do not disturb mode’ is a miracle,” you sighed, scrolling through Facebook and smirking as the office’s calls went right to voicemail. Being petty could feel damn good.

But then a notification reading ‘one missed call from Hanzo’ popped up.

“Oh fucking fuck,” you hissed, rushing to call him back.

“I hope I did not wake you for the second time today,” he said as he answered.

“No, no,” you sighed, “just avoiding someone else’s call.”

“Who is that,” he said gravely.

“Work,” you grumped, “they wanted to know why I wasn’t at my desk and it became a whole _thing_ from there.”

“You were shot in the chest mere days ago,” Hanzo reeled, sounding just as angry as you.

“It’s a load of bullshit,” you griped, “but I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“Why don’t you let me take you out to a late lunch then,” Hanzo offered. “I can meet you at that burger place you told me you were telling me about. ‘Drown your woes in a plate of bacon and cheese covered fries,’ as you said in the hospital.”

“Dear god that sounds amazing you groaned,” getting up to get dressed, “but it doesn’t really seem like your kind of joint. It’s a greasy, hole in the wall kind of place.”

“I trust your judgment,” he said matter of factly, “and I will take off my tie before entering.”

You grinned, knowing he would still stick out like a sore thumb. “Sounds good. I’ll call a cab.”

Sure enough, Hanzo’s suit and sleek appearance had the other patrons raising eyebrows – the place was right next to campus, so most people were in sweats and sneakers. As you slid into the seat across from him, Hanzo gave an unnerving look to the group of guys who were staring at him from across the room. They instantly looked away, and you grinned.

“I probably shouldn’t love it so much when you do that, but I do,” you giggled.

“Do what,” Hanzo asked, sliding a menu over to you. He had left his gloves, probably a sign that he thought this place was grimy – which it was, but that was all part of the charm.

“You know, scaring the shit out of people with a look.”

His brow furrowed a bit until you nodded toward the table of young men. “Ah,” he said casually, “I suppose it is an automatic reaction for me now.”

“You make it sound like you’ve been stared at a lot,” you hinted.

“I have,” he explained, “ever since I was a child.”

“Care you elaborate?” He hesitated, as he always did when his childhood came up. “Come on,” you pleaded, “you don’t have to tell me much, but if this thing between us isn’t going to implode there’s got to be a little more give and take. You know I won’t judge you.”

Hanzo sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair, “I suppose you are right.” He looked out the window and spoke quietly. “My family was very prominent where I am from, and as children, Genji and I were recognized and notable – and therefore scrutinized – from a young age. We were taught we were superior and in turn taught that we were feared. I especially took to this idea, cultivating an image and persona that kept others beneath me.”

You leaned across the table and ran a few fingers up his arm. Hanzo looked to you for a brief moment before looking down, as if ashamed. “Sounds to me like you were pressured into acting that way.”

“Even if I was,” he huffed, “I still had a choice to act otherwise, and I did not. My brother was able to be his own man, even though he was raised much the same way.”

“No one said being a kid and learn the ways of the world was easy,” you assured him, “we all did stuff we’re not proud of. But you’re moving forward, that means a lot.”

He gave you a thin smile. “I think you give me too much credit.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Did you, or you not just say something revealing about yourself?”

“I did, but I hardly think one small change constitutes ‘moving forward.’”

“It’s all about baby steps, handsome baby steps.”

The two of you ordered and ate a delicious bounty of unhealthy, happy-inducing food, Hanzo slowly loosening up. He even admitted the greasy fare ‘did, in fact, have decent flavor.’ Eventually, he set down his fork and gave you a knowing look.

“What is it,” you asked warily.

“Are we going to talk about your job making you upset now, or not?”

You groaned loudly. “Do we have to? I don’t want to ruin such a nice lunch with you, and I get the feeling I’ll be battling the bosses for the rest of the day.”

“Very well,” he said, sipping his drink, “but let me know if I can help, will you? I am more than happy to rain hell upon anyone for you.”

“Aw shucks,” you laughed, “you’re so sweet and intimidating.”

He scoffed. “I believe I can count on one hand the people who think I am sweet.”

“Just me?”

Hanzo thought a moment, “Very probably, yes.”

You smiled warmly at him, and he did the same, making you flush and toy with your necklace. Something in the back of your mind was suddenly clawing for attention. “Hanzo?”

“Yes,” he asked, still gazing at you.

“When are we going to talk about what we’re doing here? How we label this? Where we want it to go?”

He sighed and stroked his chin. “I know we need to, but I admit that I have been holding the conversation at bay.”

“You care about me, don’t you,” you asked softly.

“This morning you said you’d, well, ‘fallen for me.’ I not going to make you say any weighty words or anything, but you’re invested in us, right? You’re going to meet me halfway and talk to me and – ”

Hanzo reached across the table and took your hand, “I am completely dedicated to you. If you need anything from me or our relationship, you need only ask. I am here for you, as you have always been there for me.”

“Good,” you smiled, “I guess I just needed to hear it.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, “I will be sure to tell you often. I adore you, and everything about you.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- Originally Posted at my Tumblr: prettyfunkyunorganized.tumblr.com  
> \- Business World AU inspired by a friend's post: https://watch-your-grammer.tumblr.com/post/172766939663/sugardaddygabriel-reyes-x-reader-pt-1-nsfw


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